Torrent
by atheart101
Summary: Steel rose back into her eyes and she challenged him silently to do something about it. But the damage was done, and looking close enough, he could see the broken girl behind the bars. Castle decided right then and there that he would let that child loose. No more running, no more hurting, just free. *now complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I DO NOT OWN CASTLE. The beginning of this story follows Knockdown, but that's going to change. So while I've borrowed quotes and the beginning storyline from the show, I actually don't own it. I'm only a rabid fan. But hey, I'm not complaining!**

**So like I said, this part of the story...at least til the end pretty much follows Knockdown. I give my insiders opinion into what's going on in Castle's head, but I'll soon digress into my own little world. And yes, I realize that it sounds totally boring, but I promise you it isn't. I do my best to not write boring. Because then I wouldn't read it either. So read. And enjoy. : )**

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He looked down into her eyes. Eyes that mystified him each time; he couldn't pinpoint their color. Not brown, but not green, maybe somewhere in between. A light brown with hints of green depending on the light. He chased the thought away, but in its place came a new one. Or rather, an old and familiar one resurfaced. Much like her eyes, she was a mystery. There were times, like now, that he could look into her eyes and see her very soul. He knew he could read her like no one else in her life, but that didn't stop her from shielding herself from him whenever he got too close. A defense mechanism, confusion, fear, distrust, or all of the above, he didn't know what made her do it. Sometimes he was sure she didn't even know the walls she put around herself. But he always tried to take them down. And he always would.

But in this moment, he'd managed to weed himself in before she realized what he was doing. And the pain he saw there was astounding. She gazed back at him almost desperately, silently begging him to save her. "Kate," he whispered, broken for her. Her eyes shifted. Not so much in position, but rather the door she accidentally left open suddenly closed. Steel rose back into her eyes and she challenged him silently to do something about it. But the damage was done, and looking close enough, he could see the broken girl behind the bars. Castle decided right then and there that he would let that child loose. No more running, no more hurting, just free.

Castle and Beckett had found a new break in her mother's case. Detective Raglan had called Beckett that morning, asking to meet with her at a diner in the city. Without meaning to, Kate had found herself knocking on Castle's door asking for his help. It was there in his doorway where Castle had first seen her fear and uncertainty. So many things had washed over her face at once, and Castle had just wanted to pull her in and never let her go. But her strength and determination had prevailed as it always did and before Castle could act or even ask, she'd asked him for his help. Pure and simple, and yet it held behind it so many things. Witty remarks didn't even make it into his mind, Castle had simply nodded, grabbed his coat, and followed her out the door. They'd made their way to the diner and found Raglan nursing a cup of coffee, appearing to savor the ceramic cup between his hands. Castle had noted that the man looked pale, almost sickly, and thought that maybe we was savoring the feeling of a hot mug warming his fingers. Raglan had looked up and took in the site of Castle. He rolled his eyes.

"What part of 'no cops' did you not understand?" He'd directed to Beckett.

"He's not a cop," she'd replied as she and Castle slid into the booth.

"So who is he?"

"Someone I trust." Castle had looked over at her quickly. _She trusts me_, was all he could think dumbly. But'd he pulled himself away from his thoughts and focused back onto what the old man was saying. They didn't get very far. Raglan had made a Scrooge reference as he admitted his overwhelming guilt over his former life as a cop. _A lot of sins he held behind his badge_, Ragland had said. Castle had wondered what they might be. He'd seemed sincere, though, when he told Beckett that nothing weighed on him more than her mother's case. He'd started to tell her why, that something had happened seven years before her death, when the sound of shattered glass had caused the entire diner to erupt in a frenzy.

"Everyone down on the ground! Back away from the window now!" Beckett had shouted, looking for the source of the bullet that had penetrated the safety of the diner. But all Castle could see was the red stain on her white sweater.

"You're hit!" He'd exclaimed, panicking and leaning in for a closer look.

"I'm fine, it's not my blood," she'd responded, her attention elsewhere. _Raglan_, he had thought quickly and looked over. Sure enough, the man had been sputtering, bits of blood escaping his mouth. Castle had crawled over to him, but it was too late. The lights in Raglan's eyes were fading. He'd looked over at Beckett and shook his head.

"Be advised, this is now a homicide," she finished saying into her walkie-talkie.

The defeat was evident in her voice and she'd let the device slip from her hands. Castle had wanted to say something, anything to bring a smile to her face and wipe away that haunted look, but he couldn't. He'd looked down at the warm, sticky solution that had diverted his attention. Raglan's blood was on his hands. A slight tremor shook them as he realized what that meant. _So this is what it's like to be a cop_, he'd thought numbly. He wanted desperately to wash it all away and go back to this morning when he'd been making waffles for him and Alexis, waiting for Beckett to call about a new dead body someone had found. Anything to give him an excuse to see her. _A new dead body_, he'd repeated to himself. How could he be so careless, so thoughtless? Castle just stared at the new dead body before him. He'd written this moment maybe a hundred times in his books, but nothing compared to the actual feeling.

Paramedics had arrived at the scene and took the body away. Castle couldn't let himself think of the dead man as Raglan anymore. He'd watched numbly from the doorway before turning and making his way to the bathroom where he spent the next five minutes scrubbing his hands. But even after he'd dried them, he could still feel the blood. _Someone's blood on my hands_, he'd thought wryly. _Never thought of a context like this for that phrase before._ Somehow he knew he would never use that phrase in his books ever again. Coming out of the bathroom, Castle had seen Beckett and made his way towards her. He'd taken her in, shoulders slumped, head down. _God how this must be affecting her. She'd come so close._ He was still wiping his hands when she looked up and saw him before her.

"Hey," she'd said. He'd responded in kind, still feeling a little lost, unable to fully grasp the situation. "You good?" she'd asked.

"Yeah, I think I got it all off my hands." Once again, that phrase haunted him and he lost himself in his thoughts once again.

"It's different when it happens right in front of you," she'd said, sympathizing, "You're close enough to watch the lights go out."

"Yeah," he'd nodded, and then caught sight of the blood on her shirt again. Another chill passed through him at what that could have meant. "When I saw the blood on your shirt I thought you'd been shot." The words came out before he could stop them. He knew the terror he'd felt had been written across his face. He'd never been able to beat Beckett's poker face. She'd stared at him, and he thought he'd detected fear for his own safety and a desire to respond to the unspoken truth behind his words in her eyes when she'd broken eye contact and said, "Um, I'm gonna go to the 12th." She'd started to walk away as she'd continued, "How about I drop you off at your place?"

"Not a chance," he'd said. He didn't even have to think about it. A man had died because he was going to give Beckett information about her mother's death. He sure as hell wasn't going to leave her now. Not if it meant she was next. _Especially _if it could even possibly mean that she was next. No. He wasn't leaving.

There must have been something in his voice that made her decide not to argue. She'd stared at him for a moment, surprised, but all she'd said was, "Okay," and lead the way out the door. They did stop at his apartment, however, after hers, and he'd invited her in while he went to change his clothes. He had pulled on something much less formal and this normal suit and tie outfit. There was something about watching a man die that made you appreciate the little stuff. Like wearing a button down tee-shirt and jeans. Sighing, he'd made his way out of his room and found Beckett standing where he had left her. In front of the closed door. She had that look about her again, he'd realized, that look that told him she was just barely holding it together. He'd only seen it on her a few times. The first when he told her what he'd found out about her mom, after he'd snuck behind her back, and the last time when she told him to leave after he came home from the Hamptons. There were only a few times in between that he could remember seeing her like this, and they'd all had to do with her mom's case. _She may have healed enough to be able to live again,_ he'd thought, _but there's only so much healing the body can do after a disaster like that._ And she was damn good at hiding the fact that she'd hardly healed at all. _The only sense of closure she'll get is when she catches the son of a bitch who ordered the hit on her mom. That's when she'll allow herself to heal._

Castle had made his way over to her slowly. He'd wanted so badly to hold her and take the hurt upon himself, to make it all disappear. But he had no words for situations like these. And the words he did have he was sure she wasn't ready for. He couldn't pinpoint the moment he fell in love with Katherine Beckett, it seems like he'd always loved her from the moment he met her. Or maybe he was just waiting to meet her but didn't know it. When she walked into his life she'd set about changing a lot of things for him. She'd messed everything up and she didn't even know. But she'd messed them up for the better and that's all he really knew, all he really cared about.

So, without knowing what to say, Castle just stood there and gazed into her eyes. Part of his mind contemplated their color, while the rest of him contemplated the emotions behind them. She'd had it. The answers she'd been looking for, waiting for, had been in her grasp and someone had rip them away in the form of a bullet to Raglan's chest. So now she was lost again, back to the beginning. Coonan was dead, Raglan was dead, and a man with a deadly aim was out there, laughing at her. It was like her mother had died all over again and the anguish and complete heartbreak threatened to overtake her once again.

"Kate," he heard himself whisper brokenly, and suddenly it was like she came back to herself. She slammed the walls back in place, was gone from him once again.

"Are you ready?" She asked forcefully, putting herself back together. "Because we really should get back to the precinct."

"Are you sure you don't want to think about this first?" Castle asked, finally finding his voice. He knew that was the absolute wrong question to ask, but it was the first thing that came to his mind.

"What's there to think about, Castle?" She asked, turning back to him. "Ragland is dead and his killer is out there. Someone who may know about my mother's case. I've got to catch him."

"I know," he responded, placating, "I know that more than anything. But Raglan was shot. You could have been shot! Can we take a moment and think about this for a second?"  
"Castle, I signed up for this when I took my badge. You didn't. You can stay here and process, but I've _got to go_. I _have_ to know who this SOB is. I've got to-" Beckett broke off and bit her bottom lip. Then she looked back at him. "You can stay, Castle. I don't want you getting shot. But I have to do this."

"Then I'm coming with you," he responded.

"But-"

"No. I did sign up for this, Beckett. I've got the paperwork to prove it. If I get shot I can't sue the city. If I die, I can't sue the city. I remember what I signed up for. But this is so much more than a signature. This is so much more than writing a book or following you around to satisfy some morbid curiosity with death. This is about you. And I'm not leaving you." Then, before he could say something really stupid, he grabbed his coat and headed out the door. But even so, he didn't miss the surprised look that passed over her face. There were so few occasions when she didn't know what to say back. It brought a little smile to his face, so he called over his shoulder, "You coming? I swiped your keys as I walked out, so does that mean I get to drive?"

He heard her gasp as she quickly ran to his side and stuck her hand down one of his jacket pockets. "Why, Detective, are you trying to feel me up?" He said slyly, wagging his eyebrow, "Because all you had to do was ask."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Where are my keys, Castle?"

"Mmm, no idea. Which pocket did you put them in?" He responded playfully.

"In this…one," she said slowly as she dug into her right pocket and found the keys resting against the bottom. Castle watched her roll her eyes again, but was pleased when she couldn't quite suppress a smile. They reached the elevator and Beckett pressed the down arrow, then turned to face him. She placed a hand on his arm and reached up till her lips were against his ear.

"Next time you want me to cop a feel, Castle, all you have to do is ask," she whispered seductively. Then she leaned down and flashed a wicked smile and sauntered onto the elevator. Apparently the doors had slid open. "You coming?" She asked, eyebrow raised in that way she did.

"Yeah," Castle gasped, still wondering how the hell she had managed to turn the tables on him once again.

The elevator doors closed and started its descent. "Hey," she said quietly, bumping her hand lightly against his. He looked down at her apprehensively, unsure of what he'd find. But her brown-green eyes stared into his, devoid of any humor. "Thanks," she said quietly.

"For what?" He asked.

A thousand thoughts seem to pass over her face as she thought of her answer. He wished she would voice them, but all he could do was hope for a day when she someday would. "For being here," she finally answered, keeping eye contact for only a moment longer before she looked down. The elevator doors opened and she quickly got off, making her way to the car.

"Always," he said softly, too low for her to hear, before he walked off the elevator after her. This was going to be one hell of a day.

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**I really want to keep writing this. It's my first shot at fanfiction, so I don't really know what I'm doing. If you like it, then by all means let me know. It'll help my self esteem : ), though I think I'm gonna keep going simply because I want to know what the story's gonna be. xoxo Aubrey**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so installment #2. I actually finished it about 30 minutes after I posted the first chapter, but what's the fun in letting you read everything at once? ; ) Anyway, we're still following Knockdown, I'll let you know when that changes. Get excited, chapter 2 is in Kate's mind...or at least the way I see it : ) Let me know what you think, but be warned, unless I get bored, this story is still coming. Just let me know if I miss something, k? Or any ideas you may have. xoxo, Aubrey**

Chapter 2.

As Kate passed through the lobby of Castle's apartment building ahead of him, she tried to process her complexity of emotions. The first was obvious. Raglan had been shot. And killed. And with him went whatever secret he was about to share. The despair there was obvious, as was the heartbreak and undeniable sense of failure that came to her whenever she thought about her mom's case. _What was it she was missing? Why did this case have to be the one she could never solve? What was the file her mom withdrew before she died, the one that had subsequently gone missing? Why did she have to die?_ She could hear Rick –_Castle_, she admonished herself,_ not Rick, Castle_—catching up so she quickly moved on. Kate had a feeling he could read her better than anyone else in her life. Like he could see through her, past the defenses she put up, and deep into her soul. She didn't like that he could do that, it made it very hard for her to think about anything else when he was around. Her mother's case wore on her every day, all day, and it was all she could do to focus on the present sometimes. And with Castle around, she felt she had to focus even harder on not letting her emotions through. Because with him, well, with Castle she just wanted to let go, let him in, let him help her. But then again he was Castle, and could she trust him with her heart? He'd been married twice before and went to the Hampton's with Gina. And he was still with Gina. _And I'm with Josh_, she thought. But that wasn't the point. Was it? Castle was impulsive, he spent his time joking and pointing at shiny objects. It was a rare occasion when he was serious and thoughtful. Though, those rare occasions seemed to pop up more and more recently. Like back in the diner when he had been so terrified that she'd been shot. Or just upstairs in his apartment? _This is about you_, he'd said. What the hell did that mean? The literal part of it was obvious, but the look in his eyes when he'd said it. Those blue eyes seemed to say everything in that moment, and she was surprised in what she read. _Could he really?_ She wondered. No, of course not. That was preposterous. Castle had the emotional propensity of a teaspoon, his comment in the hallway had proven that. Then again, he'd only smiled when she had. She shook her head. She was thinking much too hard about that.

"Want to share what's on your mind, Detective?" Castle's voice shook her out of her reverie. When did he get here?

"I—what?" She asked.

"You're brows are furrowed and you're chewing your bottom lip like you do when you've got all those serious thoughts." He said by way of explanation.

Kate looked over at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. God those eyes were beautiful. _Stop it_, she ordered herself. "I was just wondering what Ragland was going to say about what happened nineteen years ago. It was seven years before my mom died, so what was so big that it still mattered seven years later?"

Castle was quiet as they both got in her car and she drove in the direction of the precinct. Kate looked over at him after a few minutes and found him staring out the window? Her brows wrinkled together in confusion. Silence was unlike him, but staring at the streets as she drove passed was even more so. "Castle?" She asked.

"Hm? Oh, I was just think about what you said. About what happened being so big that they needed to keep it buried."

"What about it?"

"I was thinking about the story behind it. You know how in a book or even a tv show, when the villain gets tricked into confessing, the motive he always gives is something so small, so ineffectual you wonder why it mattered so much. The cop always says in return how it wasn't worth the choice he made." He paused long enough to look at her and gauge her reaction before continuing. "I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying that the reason for the biggest change in your life might be something small in comparison for the damage it's done."

Kate was silent for a while before she responded. He had a point, and she knew he was gently reminding her to not let her focus narrow and look for a specific motive. She had to keep her eyes wide for any trace that might lead to her mom's killer. She found herself nodding thoughtfully and looked over to Castle with a sad smile. "I think I'll find any reason this jackass has will be insignificant when compared to what he did."

To her surprise, Castle reached over and squeezed her hand before letting his fall back into his lap. Her hand felt strangely cold after the warmth of his left her. She struggled to keep a frown off her face and instead looked into his eyes again. "I know, Kate," came his soft reply. "We'll get him. You'll see." And his eyes told her something else. That once they did, she could start healing. Suddenly, Kate had to break away and blink fiercely to keep the unwanted moisture behind her eyes from falling. Somehow she knew her reaction was not lost on the author sitting beside her. But he said nothing as she pulled up the precinct and parked. They got out of the car and, side by side, walked into the one place they were sure they would find the answers.

Or more questions. And a heated interrogation. And a dismissal. She heard Rick call after her as she fled the precinct not hours later, but she was too focused on not crumbling to her knees that she couldn't respond. Her one shot, taken from her. Not once, but now twice, and in the form of her Captain. How many times would her mother have to die today? And hearing that bastard Simmons talk about her mother than way. The unadulterated fury threatened to overwhelm her again as she sped home. The logical side of her brain understood and agreed with Montgomery's decision to pull her off the case. Technically she was out of line, but that _bastard_ had no right to say what he did. She almost wished she'd pulled her gun instead of using his body to break the observation glass. Almost. But even a pig like him didn't deserve the easy way out of a bullet. And she wouldn't give his remains the satisfaction of having her badge taken away because of one rash decision. So she drove home and ran up to her apartment, trying very hard not to cry at the hopelessness that overwhelmed her as she kept herself busy by cleaning, trying to eat, and even reading. But in the end, she found herself lying on her couch, silent tears running down her face, wishing her mother was there to comfort her.

Instead there was a knock at the door. Kate hastily dried her eyes and wiped away the tear marks as she made her way to the door. Castle stood on the other side.

"Hey, Castle," she said, praying her voice sounded natural and not as shaken as she felt.

"Hey." Then he paused, suddenly apprehensive. "Where's Josh?"

"Oh he's in Africa. He's saving the world," she replied, _and not here with me_ she added mentally. Though with Castle before her she found herself minding that fact less and less.

Suddenly, a bouquet of flowers was before her eyes. And Castle was much less sure of himself. "I brought you some…I just thought after everything…you might want…here," he stammered, handing her the flowers and taking a deep breath when she took them.

The sight of them made her body go still. She couldn't think of the last time someone had given her flowers. She and Josh never talked about work, so he never used a tough day as an excuse, though he never brought them to her just because either. The thought of Castle bringing her some made her heart do a little somersault, her stomach echoing it motion. And the fact that he was nervous about it put a smile on her face. She looked down at the flowers as she thanked him, getting a whiff when she told him how sweet it was. They were delightful.

Kate looked back up and Castle and saw that his eyes were still focused on his shoes. She bit back a small laugh. It's times like these she wondered what she felt for Castle. He acted like a child most of the time, yes, but today he'd been something completely different. This was the Rick Castle she saw with his daughter and mother, a side very rarely shown to anyone else. That he chose her said a great deal. It was that thought that made her ask, "Do you want to come in?" Maybe she couldn't have her mother, but Kate was beginning to think that maybe Rick was the next best thing.

His response of "Sure," complete with eyes bugging with elation and a sense of trying too hard to quelm his excitement made her smile once again. Kate stood aside and let him into her home. _Only Rick could make me smile on a day like today_, she thought. And for once she didn't push aside a thought like that. For once she let herself feel the happiness and contentment he brought her. There would once have been a time when she would have freaked out having Richard Castle in her apartment, but now she realized that with him here, it started to feel like home. _From fangirl and author to partners_, she thought._ It's strange what time can do_. She could almost here Castle say,_ Oh time has nothing to do with it, Beckett. Fate, magic, the little blue guys from shiny lamps, those are the things you have to worry about in life. They are what change you for the better. _But before she could start sparring with the Castle in her head, the real one interrupted her thoughts. And so began their afternoon together. Kate found herself so endeared by his gumption to help her, no, to work _with _her on her mother's case that she took him to her secret murder board. It was only when he murmured that he sometimes forgets that she lives with her mother's death everyday that she realized he didn't just suggest continuing their detective work on her mom's case, but that he instigated it. She'd been there lying on the couch crying in hopelessness, allowing herself to be broken for a moment, and he'd walked in ready with a plan. _Constant surprises_, she thought with a smile.

Kate also hadn't missed his reaction when she told him that she'd started working from home after he'd gone to the Hampton's. It was like his breath got caught in his throat for a moment, as if he wondered briefly if it was his fault she'd turned to this again when honestly it was his absence in her life that drove her to focus on something else. Her mother's case to stop thinking about Castle, Castle to stop thinking about her mother's case. And now Castle was helping on her mother's case. Ironic? Kate mentally shrugged. She wasn't about to ask. Kate hoped she didn't hurt him, but it was true, though now she was wishing she hadn't said anything. She had to start being more careful about what she revealed around Castle.

As the day progressed, Kate found herself amazed at the transformation Castle was able to bring so easily within herself. They were looking through old photos of the Christmas before her mom passed, photos that brought a sad, wistful smile to Kate's face, usually accompanied by a stray tear or two, but today Castle had Kate giggling, _giggling_, about her spectacular failure at ice skating. She and her mom had had a blast, but it wasn't something Kate wanted to repeat in public anytime soon. Even so, pictures of her and Castle laughing while gliding along the ice danced across her vision. They'd fall, either because she tripped or he did, but go down with style, laughter on their lips. _Oh stop it_, she chastised,_ like that would ever happen._ _You're with Josh, he's with Gina. Get over it. Or better yet, just stop it all together._ But even still, Kate found herself looking into Castle's eyes once again and thought she saw a glimmer of an idea pass across his eyes. _No, _she thought,_ that's just wistful thinking. Get your mind where it belongs. And it's certainly _not_ with Rick Castle._

"Hmm." Castle's voice brought her back to reality and she couldn't help a slight smile as she asked what is was. Thirty minutes later, Castle was gone, hustling out the door in search for old files as to why her mother would be taking pictures of the alley that soon after served as her death site. Kate couldn't help but notice how the light in her apartment seemed dimmer than when he was there.

She watched the sun fade into the horizon as darkness settled in the city in quiet agony, waiting for some word from Castle. She was at the door before the second knock only to open it revealing _Captain Montgomery?_

"Captain. What can I do for you, sir?" She asked, gesturing for him to come in.

"I've got to put a detail on you," Montgomery concluded after he finished filling Kate in on the case. "And I need you to stay home."

Kate tried unsuccessfully to argue her way back onto the case. Montgomery wouldn't budge, and Kate had to admit she understood why. Given the circumstances, she knew she would find it hard to think rationally and objectively when it came to Raglan's case. She wanted justice for his murder, but for the wrong reasons. She wanted her mother's killer, the real one. The one who ordered the hit. And she knew it was the same man as Raglan's killer. Or at least he would bring her one step closer. And there was a part of her that couldn't get over the fact that Raglan had played a part in her mom's death. He knew who it was and had written it off, falsely investigating her mom's case. She couldn't forgive him of that, dead or not. So she acquiesced. She would stay home. But the police detail was staying downstairs. She'd sleep with her gun if she had to.

And that's exactly what she did. Kate kept her gun under her pillow, prepared for anything that might come through those doors. She kept her blinds closed and double checked the locks. But it was what she dreamed about that took her off guard.

It was a range from wonderful fairytale dreams to jolt-you-out-of-the-bed-panting dreams. Some of them were downright nightmares. But what had the tears streaming down her face for the second time that day was not the dreams themselves, but the main character.

Richard Castle.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:: So this one is kind of long. I knew where I wanted to end, you'll either love me or hate me for it later, but then again you'll probably get the next installment later. This is so much more fun than homework. But back to what I was saying. Yeah, so I knew where I wanted to end, but I also wanted to give props to Ryan and Esposito because I **_**loved**_** their screen time in this episode. So we get a little bit of that bromance we all love in this chapter. You can feel free to thank me for that one ; ).**

**And thanks for all the reviews! I've gotten a grand total of, count them, 3! I seriously appreciate them. I've also had hundreds of reads which, I've gotta admit, is awesome to see. I'll never know if they like what they read, but that's okay. I do want to say thanks to my three new friends who have told me they're enjoying this.**

**And yes I do realize I just made this chapter even longer. My bad. Hopefully you skipped this part. K, go read : ) xoxo, Aubrey**

Chapter 3.

_He's here_, Kate thought as she glanced through the peephole. _He's safe_. Beckett allowed herself a moment of peace knowing Castle was alright. The dreams of last night had left her shaken. But what she found herself replaying over and over were not the nightmares of Castle bleeding out in her arms, a bullet from Raglan's killer lodged in his side, but rather the dreams of his arms encircling her, pulling her in, running his fingers through her hair, and kissing her in a way that both set her on fire and made her toes curl in bliss. She could even make a case that those were the dreams that shook her the most. _I am _not _in love with Richard Castle_, she told herself severely for the hundredth time since rising. _I am _not. But she would allow the pleasure of knowing he was safe to wash over her. He was her partner after all. But still, nothing could stop the little flip her stomach gave her as she opened the door to greet him. She determinedly wrote it off as anxiety over her mother's case. Nothing more. It still didn't help that fact that she could find nothing to say once the door was fully open. It didn't seem to matter. His eyes were the gun in her hand.

"You talked to Montgomery?" He asked, foregoing a greeting.

"Yeah," she replied. There was nothing more she could really say. Though _his_ face said plenty. Castle scrunched up his face as he made his way into the apartment. Either he was chagrined because he got caught swiping the files they needed or he was worried she was displeased because he got caught at all. No doubt wondering if she would pull out the "I signed up for this and you didn't" speech again. She didn't give him long to wait.

The gun in her hand worried him. Of course, Beckett was a cop, so holding one was second nature, but he had hoped the detail downstairs would have given her some peace of mind. Then again, her apartment did blow up last year. Castle just wished there could be one day where she didn't have to worry so much. But what he wished most of all was that he hadn't gotten caught last night. He'd counted on Montgomery's coffee break and the fact that since the Captain had sent both him and Beckett home that he wouldn't be looking for the two of them to return. Of course, there was a reason Montgomery was Captain. And he'd spotted Castle a mile away.

What also worried him was whether or not Beckett would use his incompetency as an excuse to send him home. He'd gotten the files, but would that be enough? Castle mentally shrugged. It didn't matter. Like he'd told her yesterday, he wasn't leaving her.

"Castle, there's something I need you to do," Beckett said as she followed him deeper into the apartment.

"Name it," he replied, hoping it was something different than what her face told him. It wasn't.

"Go home." She all but ordered.

Castle fought to roll his eyes. "Forget it," he said back just as forcefully, then, "Fear does not exist in this dojo." Just to keep things semi-light.

"Listen, I signed up for this when I put my badge on, you didn't." She replied, repeating their argument from the night before. But then she added something new. "This is not your fight."

Castle had to fight to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. "The hell it isn't," he shot back. Then he found himself repeating his words back to her. He hated the rut they seemed to be in. "Look I don't follow you around just to annoy you. I don't ride out to murder scenes in the middle of the night just to annoy you. If that's all this was I would have quit a long time ago!" Castle promptly shut his mouth to stop himself from saying the words she was not ready to hear. But the damage was done.

"Then why do you keep coming back, Rick," she asked, searching his eyes. _Just a slip of the tongue_, he told himself to quiet his suddenly escalating heartbeat at the sound of his first name on her lips, _Nothing more. _And still he couldn't tell her. He could even admit to her what he could so easily tell his mom. _It's not about the books anymore._ And it wasn't. It was so much more than that. Hell it was hardly about the books when it _was_ about the books. But she couldn't know. Not yet. _She's with Josh_, he told himself. A punishment he would repeat when he couldn't get his mind off her. _She's with Josh and that isn't going to change._ So he said the next best thing.

"Look, I may not have a badge. Unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday," he replied quietly. _Though I wouldn't either since all that's left is the box it came in._ "But I'll tell you this. Like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick." Then he moved away from her before he did something really stupid. His mental punishment phrase was starting to lose its value.

"The plucky sidekick always gets killed," she called after him. _Last chance_, she seemed to say.

"Partner then," he responded. _You aren't getting rid of me._ He kept her gaze, challenging her. She studied him a moment longer in return, then a small smile found its way to her lips as she let it go. Maybe she didn't want him to go after all.

"Okay." Then the moment was gone. "What'd you find?"

x-x-x

She could read it in his eyes as she sat down beside him. She wasn't going to be able to get rid of him. That fact, burning so brightly there, made her heart flutter. Though she chocked it up to what Castle revealed about the alleyway. _How was it I never checked into the alleyway after all these years? _she wondered. How had it been that a tale about the murder taking place there nineteen years ago never reached her ears. _I'll have to remind myself when this is over to let Castle know it was he who broke my mother's case._ What would she have done without him? Of course, she could never let Castle know that little fact. His head was already big enough. Then again, something did poke at her in her mind. Something about his knowing that wouldn't even dare him to gloat. It would only make him – _No._ She thought. _We are _not _going back down that road again._

Kate put her mind back to the task. Pulgatti. Arrested by Ragland. The missing file her mother had withdrawn. They needed to talk to Pulgatti.

"I bet Pulgatti could shed some light on it," Castle said, caught up in the story and (thankfully) oblivious to her thoughts. Apparently he thought so, too. Kate bit back a smile at the way their minds always worked in sync.

Back at the precinct, Kate was still mystified by the amount of light Pulgatti had been able to shed. There were three things her mind kept circling around. One, Pulgatti was the case file that had gone missing. Her mom had tried to put together an appeal for him. Two, Ragland had been a very dirty cop, though in a shockingly new way. And three, she looked just like her mother. Pulgatti had said she looked just like her mother. Not for the first time that day did Kate wish her mother had been there to hear it. And not for the hundredth time that day did she wish she didn't have to fight back tears at the fact.

So instead she and Castle quickly summed up what they knew. The only satisfaction she received was when Montgomery put her back on the case.

"Get that son of a bitch." And this time, Kate didn't stop the smile that crept onto her face.

Unfortunately, her interview with McAlister only raised more questions. Kate was in control of her emotions, though she felt that the seething anger emanating from Castle kept her grounded. Maybe they were both working to keep themselves from strangling the name from McAlister in order to be ready to catch the other person from flying across the table. One more hit to the Ob window and it would shatter.

_Somebody you'll never touch_, McAlister had said. _But I'll do more than touch the bastard,_ Kate promised herself. _I'll bring him in._

She sat in silence for a few moments before looking over a Castle. He was already staring at her. For once she didn't mind. "You were right," she murmured, "Covering their asses seems a pretty insignificant reason to kill my mom."

Castle gave her a sympathetic grin. His eyes remained somber. "But you were right, too," he murmured back, "They may have taken extraordinary measures to do it, but it was in part to cover up a murder. A life for a life is pretty big."

"For once I wish I wasn't right. It doesn't make me feel any better."

"Nothing ever could, Kate. Not when it's about this."

"I wonder what he meant about The Dragon. What else have we missed?" She didn't expect Castle to have an answer so she continued on with her thought. "He's afraid of someone and it's not a cop." Kate rested her chin on her fingers as she gazed at him for a moment, drinking in the strength she never knew he had. "We've gotta find that shooter."

"I think we've got a lead on him," Ryan said, interrupting her private basking session. _This case is wearing me down_, she thought. _I'm taking comfort from Castle._ But there was no time to think further. The next thing she knew the four of them were off, tracking down Jolene. The car ride to Jolene Granger's was filled with silent tension. Kate's mind was racing ahead of her car, wondering what they'd find at Jolene's. Information? Identification? A body? Answers?

Unfortunately, their mysterious shooter had chosen option C. Kate phoned Esposito to give him the news. And then a flash bomb exploded through her cell phone.

"Esposito!" She heard herself needlessly repeating. "Esposito!" When no response came she immediately dialed Montgomery. He sent the troops to investigate and relayed the information to Beckett.

"He dumped both their cell phones so we can't GPS track them," she told Castle. But he was ready and kept her mind on the job.

"We couldn't find Jolene's cell phone either. Lockwood must have gotten rid of it."

Kate latched on. "Because her phone was a link to him. She'd call him on it."

"There's gotta be a phone bill around here somewhere." And he went in search.

x-x-x

The cloth bags over their heads were unceremoniously lifted and both Ryan and Esposito found themselves kneeling on the cold ground in front of a rusty tank of water. Some dirtbag was already beginning to fill it with ice. Esposito couldn't help himself; he immediately began to struggle. A voice caught his attention.

"I want to congratulate you both," it said. Esposito saw a figure move from behind the shadows. Lockwood. "I don't know how you found my place," he continued, "I've been doing this kind of work for a while now, and no one's ever come that close to me. My problem is that your investigation has gone further than I expected and now in order for me to finish my job I need to know exactly what you know about me and my employer." Epsosito switched from staring the bastard in the eyes and documenting what he saw of the basement he was in. He saw the rifle sitting in a chair behind Lockwood. It was proof enough for him. That was the gun that killed Raglan. Case closed. Ice was still be poured into the tank of water.

"Now, I've got a lot of respect for you guys." Both Ryan and Esposito moved to discredit the idea. Neither of them wanted to voice the fact, the time for backtalking hadn't come yet. Lockwood seemed to hear their silent protest. "What? I do. Now, I'm gonna make you a deal. You tell me what I need to know, one pro to another, and I will put a bullet in your brain. You don't, you jerk me around and you will be begging me to before this night is up." Lockwood studied them. Esposito turned to his partner. And just like they're friendship had always provided, Esposito saw in Ryan's eyes what their answer needed to be. _Yeah buddy_, he thought, _We can take the torture._

"I'm gonna have to go with option B," Esposito replied.

"Oh yeah," Ryan seconded. "We're definitely gonna jerk you around."

But what happened next Esposito wasn't prepared for. Lockwood seemed to have made contact with his eyes more than Ryan's during his little speech. Esposito was prepared to feel his body yanked from the floor and set into the ice water. But it was Ryan who Lockwood motioned to be picked up. Esposito got a leather rope collar around his neck. Ryan got his head shoved into the water. Esposito watched in horror as his brother's body started thrashing.

Several agonizing minutes later, his head came back up. Esposito watched proudly as Ryan wasted no time.

"Listen, ass clown, I went to Catholic school for twelve years. Hell, they used to do this to me for talking in cla—" His head was back under.

"Your dead, Lockwood," Esposito growled. But he didn't hear what Lockwood said in return. He didn't care. He just watched his partner drown time and again. What seemed like an eternity later, he shouted, "Okay!" Ryan's head came out of the water. He breathed when his partner did.

"Don't tell this jack hole anything," Ryan called out. _As if I need reminding_, Esposito thought.

"I'm sorry, bro, I can't watch this." he said instead. Then he turned to Lockwood. "Listen to me. You're too late. The cops already know all about…me and your mom." He heard Ryan laugh and smiled at Lockwood himself. Apparently Lockwood was not amused.

"Shoot out one of his kneecaps."

x-x-x

"That guy's gonna spot a S.W.A.T. team from a block away," she murmured to Castle. Kate was looking through what Castle liked to call her super sneaky, night-vision spyglass. "Warn Lockwood," she continued. "We call in the calvary and they're both dead." She brought her spyglass down and glanced at him, apprehension and fear on her face. "I'm open to dumb ideas here."

The unimaginable popped into his head. He put a cover story over it. "Good, because I've got one."

"Drunk. You want me to be your drunk girlfriend," She repeated after he told her his plan.

"Yes. We stumble up to him, pretend we're lost, you incapacitate him and we rush inside," he responded reasonably. Then he couldn't resist. He knew it would push her enough for her to accept. "What, you can't pull of a drunk girl, Detective?" He let that sparkle into his eyes that drove her crazy. It worked.

Kate rolled her eyes and bit back the retort that came to her lips. They needed to save Ryan and Esposito. "Let's get this over with."

Kate took a deep breath and slid out of her door giggling. The cold air hit her and Kate let herself shiver out loud. She tripped around the car and allowed herself to fall against his body and into Castle's open arm. He caught her and wrapped his arm around her. She noticed suddenly that it was strong and warm. And she fit underneath it comfortably. They both started laughing and stumbling down the alley towards the watchman. He made them and started walking down the steps toward them.

"He's not buying it, Castle," she said, her voice still coming down after laughing. She pushed herself away from him, keeping one hand latched to his shirt, laughed some more and reached and put her hand on her gun. But then suddenly his hand swatted it off. And reached up to cup her face. She looked into his eyes. They were so serious with his intent. Shock ran through her system, cutting off her laugh as she realized what he was about to do.

And then his lips were on hers.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another really long one guys, sorry. I hopefully promise that the next ones will be shorter. This is the chapter where we depart Knockdown's plot and into my own (insert evil laugh here). : ) Well, kinda. I mean, yes I begin my story in this chapter, but you've got a while to read first. And I start with the kiss, so don't worry. And I've gotta say, watching that sucker over and over and over again to make sure I got it right, yep, that was LOTS of fun : ). But if any of it is awful and doesn't live up to expectations, well I'm sorry. A girl can dream, but it's not like I've had much experience. Like almost at all. But that's not the point. On with the story! (And please don't hate me for the ending. This thing had to end somehow!)**

**Oh, I don't own Castle. And that's okay with me. Because then I get to play here. But I do own any mistakes. My bad guys, just skip over them : )**

Chapter 4.

_She looked into his eyes. _

_They were so serious with his intent. _

_Shock ran through her system, cutting off her laugh as she realized what he was about to do. _

_And then his lips were on hers. _

The kiss was gentle, brief. Too brief. But it seared straight through her, heating her to her core. Kate couldn't think. Last night she'd dreamed about his lips, but this right now was so much better. Kate felt herself start to give way and so immediately retreated. She stared at him in shock, for while her body was screaming for more, she still couldn't believe they'd just kissed. Kate knew he read her face as an I-can't-believe-you-just-did-that-and-you're-going-to-pay-for-it-later face, but she didn't trust herself to tell him the truth. She didn't know what it would do to their relationship.

It was then that Kate caught the bodyguard still walking towards him and she suddenly remembered they were undercover. That dawning realization made her heart still. What if he'd only kissed her because he thought that's what the situation demanded? It was that fear, more than the fact that she felt colder without him wrapped around her, more than the fact that she so desperately wanted to taste him again, that made her dive back in. Kate had to know that he meant something more. Castle always meant something more. Always.

She tried her best to not get swept away by their kiss. She tried to keep an eye on the approaching bodyguard, but the moment Castle entwined his fingers in her hair and pulled her in deeper, she was gone. Everywhere he touched lit her on fire. And she pressed herself into him, molding her body with his. But still she couldn't get enough. She felt a moan escape her lips as she bit his top lip and he responded by pushing against her mouth harder, their lips moving together as if they'd done this all their lives. It felt so right Kate wondered why they hadn't done this before. She felt her defenses drop, one by one, and ran her fingers through his hair and down the side of his face.

But a small chuckle brought her back. _Ryan and Esposito_, her mind recalled with a jolt. She opened her eyes, _when did I close them?_, and saw the bodyguard walk away. Stealing one last kiss, Kate used Castle as an anchor and flipped around, bringing the butt of her gun down hard on the side of his head. _Teach him to interrupt us_, part of her mind said. Kate shivered in recollection, her toes curling for a brief instant in pleasure. _Ryan and Esposito_, she scolded back. _But my God—_

"That was amazing," Castle finished her thought out loud. Kate froze and turned slowly around. She wanted to agree and pull him towards her once again, but the weight of the world had decided to find its way back to her shoulders, rebuilding the walls of her defenses. But it didn't stop her from seeing on Castle's face the emotions she was trying so desperately to both hide and show.

But seeing her face, whatever was written on it, caused him to go through another door. "They way you knocked him out, I mean. That was…" He drifted off, catching sight of her now swollen lips. She looked away.

"Let's go," she said, but then couldn't help her response to what they both wished he'd said. "Yeah." Then she walked off. It took him a moment to reach her side once again, but where it would have once made her roll her eyes, the reaction she missed would have made her heart beat harder once again. After all, she couldn't believe she'd just made out with Richard Castle either. But her mind was elsewhere, somewhere between realizing it would be even harder to think of him as Castle instead of Rick and going through protocol on recovery of police officers.

The entranced cleared, Kate and Castle made their way into the building. She sent Castle to look for the boys while she called in for back up. Replacing her phone, she saw Castle motion her towards a door.

"Okay!" She heard Esposito shout. Some gurgling noise immediately stopped.

"Don't tell this jackhole anything," they heard Ryan say after a moment, coughing and sputtering. _They're torturing him by drowning,_ Kate realized. One look at Castle confirmed he'd made the discovery, too.

"I'm sorry, bro, I can't watch this. Listen to me, you're too late. The cops already know all about…me and your mom."

Ryan's laughter was cut short when a new voice stated, "Shoot out one of his knee caps."

She and Castle barely heard Epsosito's shout "NO!" as they sprung into action. She motioned for Castle to stay behind her and then find somewhere out of the way as they quickly made their way down the steps. He nodded and then was out of site. Kate quickly took in the situation, Ryan on the ground, a man standing over him with a gun pointed to his knees, a second man, _Lockwood,_ she realized, watching it all, and Esposito with a _collar?_ around his neck being held by a third. Three men. She took out the first before he could fire. Then all hell broke loose.

Collar Man pulled a rifle from around his back and fired at her until he found cover behind a pillar. Kate took a few shots, but didn't hit. She saw Lockwood grab his rifle and go for cover as well. She'd take care of him last. Reaching cover herself, she waited for Collar Man to show himself and then fired. He fell down spinning.

Lockwood didn't waste any time and advanced on her, taking careful shots and forcing her from one hiding spot to another. Each shot he took missed, but then again so did hers. He took cover behind another pillar. She quickly unloaded and reloaded her gun. Her heart was pounding again, the adrenaline coursing through her system contrasting the pleasure she'd felt upstairs to the terror she felt now. She hoped Castle was safe. Turning slightly to try to get an angle, Kate prepared to resume the shootout. Only to hear a muffled cry, a shot, and the sound of two bodies hitting the floor. Her mind jumping wildly from one thought to another, Kate leapt up and spun around. Then she stood frozen for a moment as she took in the site of Castle straddling Lockwood, punching the man senseless. She ran over to Castle. He was gazing down at the unconscious Lockwood, his hand still clenched in a fist.

"You okay?" She asked for the second time in twenty-four hours.

"Huh?" He asked, almost startled to see her standing there. Then he looked back down. Back up. "Never better."

Kate let relief wash over her. Castle was unhurt. And he'd once again saved her life. But more than that, she hadn't had to shoot another link to her mother's murder. They would be taking Lockwood in alive.

_x-x-x-x-x_

Punching a guy's face was excruciatingly painful. There was nothing soft about a man's cheekbone or his nose. But Castle wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. Unless, of course, he could kiss Kate Beckett again. Maybe his heroic actions would solicit some kind of affection. But Castle knew better than to press his luck, even as those few precious moments washed over him again. He'd been afraid Beckett would slap him after the stunt he pulled. But instead her face had shown wonder, amazement, tenderness, and no small amount of shock. And then she'd pulled him in. And everywhere she'd touch had set him aflame, setting fire to parts of him he didn't know he'd had. He'd danced with her, exploring her lips, molding, meshing, leaving tantalizing messages all over. And much like her words and playful, sexy banter, he'd found her revealing a whole new side to herself. He drank it in and asked for more. Even after she broke it off to knock the bodyguard unconscious, he knew that what had started out as an undercover kiss (on her side) had turned into something more. Castle had found himself checking his lips to make sure it had really just happened as he'd raced to catch up with her. He had found something sexier than swordplay.

The bad wrapping job the EMT did brought Castle out of his reverie. He started to unlace the bandage when Beckett suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Hey there Chuck Norris," she greeted with a smile. God, he loved her smile. Every single one of them. "How's the hand?" She asked as she took it into her own and started fixing the bandage.

"Excruciating," he winced, shivers running up his arm at her touch. "How's Ryan and Esposito?" He asked. Her hands were so gentle.

"Hm, mild hypothermia, wounded pride." Kate looked up at him with a small smile. "Guess which one will heal first?" She tucked the bandage end in and stroked the bandage flat. Castle's heart thumped.

"Thank you," she murmured as she let go, "For having my back in there." Her eyes were serious, sincere, but they spoke to more than that. So Castle said what he couldn't before, one word that was truer than anything he'd said in his life. And in it he put everything he felt for her.

"Always."

_x-x-x-x-x_

Kate held his eyes for a moment and then looked away. She'd seen everything he wanted her to, but it didn't make sense. She'd forgiven him and they'd moved past it, if by moving past it meant they never talked about it, but if Castle meant what he didn't say, then why had he gone to the Hamptons with Gina? And why was he still with her? Gazing up to where the stars would be had blinking ambulance lights not outshined them, Kate let it go. Maybe she read him wrong, maybe it was just the adrenaline rush that made him think crazy things, maybe it was just residue from the kiss. For once she wished she had Josh to go home to. She didn't want to be alone again tonight.

Kate looked back to Castle and found him still watching her, a slight smile on his lips.

"What?" She asked.

"We caught him," he replied, his smile getting bigger. "We caught him and we are one step closer to the answers you need. We did it Beckett. You did it." He reached over and squeezed her hand.

A smile tugged at her own lips and the reality of it all really sunk in. "You're right. We caught him." Then she paused and gripped his hand harder. "No, _you _caught him. You caught him, Rick." Damn, there was that name again. But it was true. He'd come to her apartment and forced her to keep working, he'd snuck back into the precinct to get the files they needed, he'd found the phone bill to lead them to Lockwood. He'd taken out Lockwood and saved her life. He did it. "Not me. It was all you this time."

Castle sat back, but held her hand. "Never thought I'd hear you say something like that," he said wryly.

"Join the club," she responded. But the intensity in his gaze made her falter once again.

"But it really was all you, Beckett. I wouldn't have pushed like I did if it weren't for you. Even," he paused, debating something. Then he sighed and continued, "Even when I looked into your mother's case the first time, it was for you. No," he put a hand up to block her rebuttal. "I know you think it was just for the story, but it wasn't. Curiosity played a key part, yes, but only because I wanted to know you more. Not Nikki, you. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to tell you what I found." He reached out and grabbed her other hand, holding them in his. "And while I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm not sorry for what I did."

They sat there like that in the back of the ambulance for God only knows how long, communicating without words exactly how they were feeling. Kate wondered how he so easily wormed his way behind her defenses until she stood there, effectively naked in front of him. How was it that the one person she never wanted to share her soul with brought it forth anyway. When was it exactly that he came to mean the world to her?

Kate looked down at his hands, finally breaking eye contact. "If you hadn't done what you did," she began quietly, turning his hands in hers just to give herself something to do, "Then we wouldn't be here now. You've been the break in my mom's case that I've been waiting for. There's nothing for you to be sorry about." She looked back into his eyes as she said that last part and was met with an overwhelming desire to kiss him again.

"Why'd you go to the Hamptons with Gina?" The uncensored thought passed through her lips unexpectedly.

"I—what?" Clearly the same reaction on his part.

"I just want to know why. You told me once you couldn't stand the woman." She fumbled around for a reason.

"I told you," Castle had recovered, though a strange mask had slipped onto his face. "She's my publisher. When I told her I was going to the Hamptons she wheedled her way into coming with me so she could make sure I actually wrote while I was there."

"But that would have been after it turned from a weekend trip to an entire summer trip."

"Right, well Alexis was gone and you—" Castle stopped abruptly .

"I what." Kate wasn't about to let go of this one.

"You and Demming already had plans," he said lamely.

_That isn't the real reason_, Kate thought. "But just for that weekend, Castle. You went for the whole summer."

"Why does this suddenly matter to you, Kate?" There he was with her first name again. "So I went for the whole summer to the Hamptons with my ex-wife! Why do you care what my reasoning was?"

His outburst startled her. "I've always cared, Castle," she said at last quietly. "I just didn't ask until now."

"But _why_ do you care, Kate? Why?" His blue eyes pierced right through her. She immediately tried to hide herself away again, but the intensity in his gaze made her stop. _The walls are down now_, she thought grimly, _no point in trying to hide it anymore._

"I broke up with Demming before you left with Gina to the Hamptons," she said as an answer.

"Before?" His astonished eyes took her in. Then realization struck. "That's what you were going to tell me before Gina showed up."

"But then Gina showed up," she nodded.

"I am so daft. Kate," he began, but she shook her head, not wanting to let go of his hands, but starting to panic. Her mind was catching up with her. She'd revealed too much and now she felt the burning desire to run.

"It's fine, Castle. I don't even know why I brought it up."

"Because it's important!"

"No. It's not." She looked down again.

"Kate!"

"Are you two set and ready to go?" Captain Montgomery said as he walked up to them. Kate felt relief rush over her at his appearance. Awkward conversation averted.

"Yes."

"No!"

Kate rolled her eyes at Castle's exclamation. "Chuck Norris here still needs pain meds for his hand."

"No, I'm fine. I jus—"

"Well, I'm sure a paramedic can get you some, but you two should really head home. It's be a hell of a day. You two deserve to relax. Oh and Beckett," Montgomery motioned for her to follow him. With a relieved smile she jumped out of the ambulance and followed her Captain away from Castle. "Tomorrow we can start in on all the stupid stuff you pulled on this case, but right now, congratulations. You did good, Detective."

"Thanks Captain," Kate smiled as he walked away.

_x-x-x-x-x_

"Don't think this means our conversation is over," Castle said in her ear. He'd crept up behind her while she was talking to Montgomery so she couldn't run away again. She was such a challenge, but that was part of what made him love her so much. Kate jumped.

"Castle—"

"It is important," he interrupted. "You can't pretend that it isn't."

"Sure I can," Kate threw back. "Because it isn't."

"Then what about the kiss?"

"Undercover."

He decided to try a different angle. "Why did you break up with Demming?"

"I—because I…he wasn't…" She sighed. "I don't know," she said at last.

Castle put his hand on her shoulders, ignoring the bite of pain the emanated from his right hand. He decided he needed to push a little harder so he rested his forehead against hers. He heard her gasp and felt her tense against him. _Let me in_, he silently pleaded.

"Yes, you do," he whispered. Knowing she wouldn't, he forgot the world around him as he cupped her face with his hands. He tilted her face up to his and even the blinking lights of the remaining cop cars faded.

_x-x-x-x-x_

_I know, I know you hate me just a whole lot right now. I can deal with that. But I just wanted to let you guys know that I know that I have no idea the difference between guns and rifles and all that stuff. So sorry if my ignorance took away from the story…then again, it isn't much about guns, is it? : ) More to come super soon, I promise!_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: See? I promised soon : ) AND it's shorter! And fluffy…ish. I dunno. This is my first time doing this kind of thing, and considering I have no personal experience, I'm going off of what I've read and what I dream about. So sorry when it disappoints. I'm up for pointers, but it seems uber weird to ask, so I'm not gonna. Xoxo Aubrey**

**I don't own Castle, but I do own my mistakes. All that jazz. K, go read : )**

Chapter 5.

His kiss paralyzed her. What had started off so soft and sweet had quickly turned into something…else. Something new. Something she found herself wanting with her entire body and so immediately began fighting it. But he held her. His injured hand cupped the back of her head while his left hand wound its way behind her lower back, pulling her into him. But she couldn't. So she fought harder. And finally managed to break away.

"You're with Gina," she choked out.

"No, I'm not," He murmured and pulled her back in. They were gentle this time.

"You're with Josh," he gazed into her eyes, eyes she could see were ready to break depending on her answer.

"But I want to be with you," she whispered, laying herself bare to him, the truth too strong to try to hold back.

It was all the invitation he needed. His lips took hers hostage, claiming them for his own, refusing to let her back down or run. Kate let her body take over, let her heart run its course and just as they parried their words, their lips flew into motion. Kate ran her tongue along the bottom of his lips, asking, and his mouth parted, sliding his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues did a dance, tasting, taking, giving. She ran her fingers through his hair and let them slip down his face, then down his chest and around his back again, never staying still for more than a moment. She had a raving need to touch every part of him. She noticed they were dancing again.

"Castle," she gasped when they finally came up for air. Opening her eyes, she looked around wildly, suddenly remembering where they were. She silently thanked the heavens Captain Montgomery had led her to a more recluse part of the parking lot. Lights were still flashing, though many of the cop cars had left for home. Kate could make out her car still stationed between cars up the road. But that's not what she was looking for. Kate was looking for gawking faces, wide eyes, maybe a few whistles. She didn't find any.

"Hey," Castle said, hooking his finger beneath her chin and pulling her face back towards him. "It's okay."

"Castle we're acting like teenagers," she protested, needing something to do. She wanted to run, but searching herself, she found that more and more of her wanted to stay. Castle knew her better than anybody. And despite his playboy image, she trusted him more than anyone she knew. Kate was starting to realize that the excuse she'd told herself over and over again was nothing more than that. An excuse. Castle was not the man the magazines portrayed him to be. He was not the man who signed his fangirls' breasts. Okay, maybe that was a little bit of him. But the true Richard Castle, the one she found herself falling for, was the man who worried about his daughter, the man who pulled her pigtails just to bring a smile to her lips, the man who saved her day in and day out from everything about her life. He knew her and loved her anyway. He was playful, cocky, sarcastic, and witty, but that's brought joy to her life. Made her smile and laugh. He challenged her, motivated her. He knew when to joke and when to be serious. He was smart. And loyal. And good. And he was one hell of a kisser.

"Aren't you the one saying I _am_ a teenager?" He joked, lifting an eyebrow, and bringing Kate back from her thoughts. "Can we go be teenagers back at my place?" He asked before she could respond. Kate immediately tensed.

"Castle," she began, not really knowing where she was headed. His fingers tipped her head up before she could say anything more and he brought his lips back down to hers. This kiss was slow and gentle, mesmerizing, soothing, persuasive. Her walls were down once again.

Kate smiled a bashful smile and ducked her head when the kiss broke. "Take me home, Rick," she purred into his ear. This time it was Castle who tensed, but he wasted no time.

"Always," he murmured, and then led her to the car. They drove in silence, hands interwoven, softly caressing. She parked outside his building and he led her up to his flat. The ride up the elevator was filled with anticipation, but the only communicating they did was through their eyes. Untold secrets and promises, blushes and smiles, fingers hooked together, contained passion waiting to be unleashed behind closed doors.

_x-x-x-x-x_

The elevator ride was killing him, passion threatening to overwhelm his body. Castle wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, rip her clothes off, and show her the many ways he loved her. To prove his love. To win hers. He did all he could to show her with his eyes, but twelve floors was a long time. By floor eight he'd had enough. Using their latched hands, Castle pulled Beckett to him and caught her gently. The pressure of her body against him sent another fire rippling through his veins. He took her face in his hands and tilted her head up. She went willingly. Their mouths found each other, tongues quickly coming alive and playing their part. She moaned into his mouth and tremors of pleasure passed through their bodies.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, but neither of them separated. Instead, they alternated between pushing and pulling each other to his front door. Castle fumbled with his keys, his brain barely functioning by this point, and threw the door open.

"Alexis?" Kate asked against his lips.

"Out," was all he managed in return.

"Martha?"

"With friends," and then he captured her lips more firmly so she couldn't speak and pulled her to his bedroom.

Kate gripped his shirt in her hands and stepped out of her shoes, sinking several inches as she continued to follow him. He followed her lead and pulled off his jacket. She started unbuttoning his shirt and then it too was on the floor. Castle caught the hem of her shirt and slid his fingers beneath it, tracing his fingers over her stomach and up her side. Goosebumps trailed behind his fingers, stimulating another moan from his partner. Then her shirt, too, was in a bundle on the floor, leaving her in a lacy black bra and jeans. They kept moving toward his room, a trail of clothing following them.

They'd made it into his room, the door kicked shut behind them when Kate suddenly stilled in his arms. A chill ran through his body. And the look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"Josh," she whispered in horror.

Castle sighed in defeat. He wouldn't take her like this. It would kill the both of them. He wanted her, no, needed her so badly. But if they started like this…it would be the end of them. Kate would hate herself and in turn hate him. And Castle couldn't live without her.

He brought her head up and stole one last kiss, lingering a moment longer, and then stepped back. "Go," he whispered, "I won't do that to you."

Kate looked into his eyes, respect and love shining back at him, and then she leaned in for another kiss. And another. In it Castle felt her appreciation for his character, her respect, and her promise of another night. Before he knew it they were falling onto his bed. Castle pulled back and held her at arm's reach. He saw tears in her eyes.

"Let me just stay, Castle, please? Just for tonight."

He kissed her forehead as she snuggled close to him. Pulling the covers over them, he whispered, "So long as you come back."

He felt her smile against his bare skin.

"Always."


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up. Apparently there's this thing called college and it has classes with professors who like to give you big projects that take up all of your time. I know, it's not very considerate. Anyway, I really wanted to get this right, so let me know what you think!**

**Oh, and on that note, I just want to thank you guys for loving this story. I'm enjoying writing it, but getting all these wonderful reviews and alerts that you guys are not only reading it, but waiting to hear more, and well let's just say it warms my heart and makes me want to stay up until crazy hours so I can get this to you. So keep it coming, it means you get more! And if you have suggestions, then by all means, give them to me! I have just as much idea of where this story is going as you do. : ) Alright, enough cozy feelings. Go read. Xoxo, Aubrey**

Chapter 6.

Her phone's ring forced Kate out of a hazy fog. It was still dark out, the moon up instead of the sun. _Who could be calling at this hour?_ she wondered. Blearily, she reached over to her nightstand to answer her phone. Her hand fell through air, jolting Kate into reality. Memories came crashing back, and suddenly the very warm, very fleshing mass behind her made sense. Castle's body encircled her own, cocooning her, and arms draped across her midsection, her very shirtless midsection. Heat flashed through her as she realized exactly why she was shirtless and in Castle's bed. And then fear and that overwhelming desire to run swept away any and all fuzzy feelings. And Castle wasn't awake to be able to kiss away her panic. Slowly and carefully, Kate lifted Castle's arm and slipped out from under it, placing it gently back to where her body had lain. Ignoring the sense of coldness that washed over both her body and her heart, Kate made her way to her cell phone. Which was out of his room and down the hall.

"Beckett," she answered, not bothering to take the time to look at the caller ID.

"Hey, I got to come home earlier than I expected! I stopped at your place to surprise you, but you weren't at home. Did you get called away on a case?" It was Josh. Kate let her head fall into her free hand, guilt consuming her body. Feeling naked in more than one way, Kate immediately dove for the nearest shirt and slipped it on, then busied herself with picking up her and Rick's trail of clothes. _Castle,_ she scolded, _Damn it Kate, it's _Castle_, not Rick._

"I – yeah," Kate lied, suddenly realizing she hadn't answered her boyfriend and seizing the easy answer he'd presented. "You know criminals, they don't follow normal business hours. But I should be able to leave soon. Just a few more things to finish here."

"Should I wait up?" Came his trusting response.

Kate swallowed and spoke through the lump in her throat. "No, I don't know how long it'll take. You never know what might come up at crime scenes."

"Or routine surgeries," Josh sympathized, "Alright, well be safe. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, later," she replied, hoping to God she sounded brighter than she felt. They disconnected and Kate stood in Castle's living room, her breath coming in short gasps. It was only then she looked to the clock. Just pass 2 AM. Kate wrapped the shirt tighter around her body, and then suddenly realized it was Rick's. She was about to shuck it off when he spoke.

"Hey."

Kate's head whipped around and found him standing in his bedroom doorway, wearing only his jeans from the day before. And looking surprisingly well defined, though her body told her that she already knew that after sleeping on it for the better part of the night. Kate felt a small tremor of yearning pass through her at the sight of him, which brought Kate back to her predicament. What in God's name had possessed her to stay with him? They hadn't done anything, well not _anything_, but they hadn't done _something_, and that something was much more important than the anything they had done. They'd kissed, no _made out_. Both in a parking lot and then again in Castle's apartment. They hadn't slept together, slept together, but the shame flooding Kate's veins made her realize that cheating meant so much more than the act. She'd given herself to Castle, mentally and emotionally, if not physically. That's the part of her that had cheated. That's the part of her that hated everything that had happened.

Castle's face had changed since he'd greeted her. What once had been a sleepy happiness at seeing her in his apartment, standing in his shirt had returned to the look he'd given her after she'd remembered her boyfriend's existence. Castle righted himself off the doorframe and silently closed the distance between the two of them. Kate still couldn't say anything.

"That Josh on the phone?" He asked softly. Kate nodded.

"He just got back and went to surprise me at my place." She explained. "I just," Kate's voice was thick so she tried again, "I feel –" but she couldn't finish.

Castle hooked a finger under Kate jaw and tilted her head so she was forced to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry," he said. It was so unexpected that Kate froze and blinked at him.

"What?"  
"I'm sorry. I've put you in the God-awful position. Kate, I can see what it's doing to you. I never wanted this to happen. At least, not in this way. I let my mind get carried away. I should have prevented this. I'm sorry."

Snapped out of her trance by an overwhelming desire to both slap him and kiss him at the same time, Kate decided to go with the easier solution. She got mad. "You're sorry? _You're_ sorry? Castle, I'm the one who chose this. I decided to come here with you. I decided to stay. I decided to just _lie _to my boyfriend about where I was." Kate took a deep breath. She studied Castle and wanted so much to fall into the embrace she knew he was holding back. But she couldn't. She didn't even know what she was going to do next. "I'm the one who got herself into this mess. This was such a huge mistake. I can't believe I was this stupid. What am I going to tell Josh?" The last question was more to herself than to Castle, but he answered anyway.

"With what you're heart says," he said softly. "Kate," his voice called her eyes back to his again. He took a moment and his blue eyes searched hers. "Whatever you decide, don't lie. Please, nothing that you might regret. You should tell him what happened. And if you're heart, _not your head_, says that even though what we did was wrong, it felt right in so many other ways, then you tell him it's me. But if you're heart says that what happened last night was wrong and you don't feel anything for me," Castle paused as his voice cracked and Kate read the fear and pain in his eyes, "Then you tell him it's him. The one thing I ask is that you don't drag it out. For all our sakes."

Castle dropped his hand from her chin and Kate once again felt the heat fall from her body as his touch left her. Dread pounded through her. She knew what he was asking, but it wasn't the decision that scared her, it was the commitment that would follow that had her skin itching once again. Kate stood there, a million thoughts racing through her head, and just traced the lines of his face with her eyes as she tried to sort them out. She felt guilty, yes, about her cheating. But Kate slowly began to realize that it wasn't who she had cheated on that provoked those feelings, it was how easy it had been to cheat. But that wasn't it either. _No_, Kate realized in dawning comprehension, _it was that I was able to cheat at all. If I cared about Josh the way I should, it would have been impossible to forget him. _She continued to stare at Castle and saw his face change once again as he read her mind in that way only he could. _I could never do to Rick what I just did to Josh. And I want to run because I know what this means. I'm not scared of running from Josh, I was never fully in it with him. But Rick, I could go all the way with Rick. And that scared the hell out of me._ Kate felt a smile spread across her face as she finished her thought, the weight that had settled on her shoulders suddenly lifting. _I could really fall for you_, she told Castle silently. _Do you know that? And would you catch me if I let myself?_

"What does your heart tell you, Kate?" Castle whispered, a glimmer of hope trying to burn in his eyes.

"I need to go to Josh," she replied. Castle's face fell before he could hide his emotions. He nodded solemnly. "I need to go to Josh," she repeated, leaning into him, "To tell him what my heart's been saying for a while now."

Hope sprung back into Castle eyes and a smile blossomed on his face. "And what would that be, Detective?" He asked deviously.

"That there's this guy I know who's been working very hard to steal my heart," she replied, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

"Anyone I know?" Castle asked, stepping closer to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"No, just some hotshot writer who's been following me around. No one you know."

A mock expression of disappointment passed over his features before Castle pulled her in tighter. "I see," he said, "And how well do you know this hotshot writer?"

"Not nearly as well as I thought I did," she replied, letting the situation turn serious, "But he can be pretty incredible sometimes, if not infuriating and annoying for the rest of it." She pressed her body into his and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes to do it. "And who do you have your sights set on, Writer Boy?"

"That's Writer Man to you, Detective." He grinned before his smoldering eyes chased away the light mood. "But the answer is easy. My eyes are set on you." He kissed her gently. "Always."

Kate settled into the kiss, taking strength from it. The she broke it off and stepped back. "I'll be back," she promised. Then she started towards the door.

"Kate?" Castle called after her. She turned back around with a smile she couldn't quite suppress. "Not that I don't love it, but that's my shirt. And you might want your shoes and keys and such." Kate laughed and walked back over to where Castle was standing with her things in his hands. She was about to make a show of taking of his shirt when she decided against it. Images of them tumbling back into his bed flitted across her eyes. Castle seemed to think the same thing because the first thing he shoved at her was her shirt. Shrugging it on, she thanked Castle as he helped her into her coat. Then she used him for balance as she stepped back into her heels. He fumbled with the collar of her jacket, folding it down, and then settled his hands on her shoulders.

"I really am—"

"If you try and apologize one more time, Richard Castle, I will shoot you." Kate interrupted. She held up a finger at his immediate protest. "Listen," she continued, "I did feel guilty and horrible about everything that happened. But it made me realize something. _You _made me realize something. Something it seems I've known for a while but refused to acknowledge." Kate searched his eyes, willing him to understand. "I can't express myself the way you can. I'm not good with words. Hell, I'm not good at feelings at all. When my mom died, a part of me died with her. And then my dad started slipping away, too, when he started drinking. And it was like another part of me followed with him. And it only got worse from there. I guess it made me feel like feeling wasn't such a good thing, especially if the ones you love get taken from you, or leave you. I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that for so long I have buried myself behind these walls that I've built, not letting anyone touch me because of all of the terrible things that might happen to them. Or to me. And then you come along and suddenly you're tearing all my walls down. And even if I try to build them back up, you're behind them, climbing deeper and deeper into my fortress until there's nothing left to hide." Kate paused, the tears in his eyes causing tears of her own to form. "I can't hide from you, Rick. And I can't think of the last time that's happened. And it scares me to death to know how deep you've buried yourself and to know that there's nothing I can do to prevent that. And then I come to find out that I don't _want_ to prevent it." She felt her tears spill over. "But I'm scared. I'm so scared of falling because—" But he didn't give her a chance to finish. His lips conveyed all the passion and love he felt for her, and Kate felt more puzzle pieces fit into place. His kisses became gentler, they lingered longer, and his tears mixed in with hers and Kate felt relief at knowing he understood.

"Fall into me, Kate," he whispered against her lips. "I will catch you every single time."

She smiled against him. "That's all I need to know."

_**x-x-x-x-x**_

Josh heard the door to her apartment open and close, so he got up from where he was waiting for her in the bedroom and met her by the couch. He flipped on the light and took in her surprised expression and somewhat rumpled exterior. But her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Reality finally caught up with him as he read what he'd been dreading since his first visit to the precinct.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she returned. "I didn't expect you to be up."

"My mind wouldn't let me sleep so I decided to take my chances and wait for you."

"Tough shift at work?" She asked, concern flooding her features.

Josh smiled sadly. "Nothing I couldn't handle. But that's not what was bothering me."

"Oh," Kate said after a moment. Josh tried to make his face impassive, but he suddenly wondered if something that peaked out.

"Where were you?" He asked a little more harshly than he meant. He always knew he'd never had all of Kate Beckett, but suddenly wondering who did made him bristle. "And don't say a crime scene, Kate. I know you're bed voice. I'd woken you up when I called."

"Josh," Kate tried to begin, but he found he couldn't stop himself.

"I just don't understand why you had to lie to me. I mean, what else have you been lying about? I'm gone half the time, so I guess I make it easy for you to—"

"That's enough." Kate had her detective voice on and it snapped Josh back to himself. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't do something like that to me. You're too honest a person."

"Josh I was at Castle's place."

He threw his hands up in the air and started to walk away. Kate crossed the distance between them and grabbed his arm. "We had a really rough case come up. Ryan and Esposito got kidnapped and there was this shootout." Josh felt his eyes widen in shock. Kate never revealed much about her job to him. Not he understood why. "Look, that's not important. But I didn't want to go home alone so I went back to his place…" Kate drifted off, trying to find the right words to say. He saved her the trouble.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No, I wouldn't do that to you."

Josh nodded, thinking. "So what happened?" He finally asked.

"He did, Josh. Castle carried the case, he thought of the way to save Ryan and Esposito, he saved my life. I just—He made me realize that—"

"That you love him," Josh finished for her. Her eyes widened at his words. "It's almost ironic that I knew before you did," he told her, gentle now, the fire gone out of him. "I guess I've been waiting for this day. I always knew I never had all of you. There were things I just knew I could never ask you about. Things I'm sure he knows. And it's good," he reassured the hurt expression that crossed her face. "I'm glad you have someone you can share those things with."

"Josh I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know, Kate. It's okay. Someone as fantastic as you will always be out of my reach. You're extraordinary." He watched as a wistful smile overcame her features and wondered what memory his words had evoked. "That's not to say I'm not jealous, but at least I'm leaving you in good hands?"

Kate nodded. "And now you can go save the world whenever you want and for as long as you want."

Josh smiled. "I'm sure I'll appreciate that freedom tomorrow."

"I'm sorry."

He cupped her face with his hands. "I can't ask you to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy."

"You don't make me unhappy."  
"But I would now that you know how you feel about him." She had no rebuttal for that fact. "You'll be in my thoughts, Katherine Beckett," he told her as he reached down and picked his bag up off the couch. He walked to the door, but a thought made him turn around. Memorizing her face one last time, Josh said, "Make sure he takes good care of you."

A smile tugged at the side of her mouth. "I promise," she told him.

"Good," Josh nodded. Then he closed the door behind him and walked out of Kate Beckett's life. An indescribable sadness tugged at his heart; he'd been falling for the brilliant detective. Even the parts or herself she'd revealed to him had left him breathless. She was beautiful in every way. But as the doors opened and Josh stepped into the elevator, he knew it was for the best. Tomorrow he'd learn to love the freedom that came from their separation. Tomorrow he'd bury himself in his word. Tomorrow he'd begin the process of moving on from Kate Beckett. But tonight he'd let himself feel the loss. Tonight he'd push away the promises of tomorrow and let himself sink into the memories of his past.

**_x-x-x-x-x_**

Castle opened the door before she finished her second knock. Kate's eyebrow shot up as she took him in. He'd changed into sweatpants, but still wore his shirt from yesterday, the one he'd put on after she'd taken it off. It was hanging open and Kate took in his buff figure once again. "Have you been pacing around the apartment waiting for me, or something?" She asked.

He pulled her into a bear hug as an answer and just held her tight. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

Kate sank into his embrace and wrapped her arms around him. "It was harder than I thought it would be, and I feel a little dirty coming right back to you, but yes I'm okay."

He pushed her back from him and stared into her eyes, double checking her story. He seemed a little surprised at her honesty. Kate wasn't going to lie to herself, she was a little surprised at how much she'd revealed too. Deciding not to push it, Castle let her go and stepped to the side, welcoming her back into the loft. She dropped the bag she'd packed before returning by the door and stepped out of her heels, laying her coat over the back of the couch. She turned back to find Castle gazing at her.

"What?" She asked, placing a hand on her hip.

He just smiled. "You're beautiful."

"Castle, I'm in jeans and a t-shirt," she responded, looking down into the outfit she'd been wearing since yesterday.

"It's not the clothes that make you, Kate," he said, stepping closer to her.

She smiled and hummed contentedly as she leaned into him. "So it's not true what they say? That the clothes make the man?"

"Not when it comes to you."

"That's cheesy, Castle."

He brought his head down until there were mere inches between them. "Not when it's true," he murmured against her lips. Kate stood up on her toes and pressed herself into the kiss, losing all inhibitions, nothing holding her back. Passion quickly overcame them as she pushed his shirt off and laced her fingers through his hair. He pushed her back against the couch and quickly flipped her shirt over her head and onto the floor. Then he caught her waist between his hands and propped her up on the couch back and she wrapped her legs around his middle. He groaned into her mouth has she pulled him closer and started trailing kisses down the side of her neck, sucking against her bare skin until she moaned in pleasure. He moved to the underside of her jaw and worked his way to her ear, his tongue leaving a trail goosebumps in its wake. She let her head drop to the side to give him more access and gasped in pleasure when his mouth found that spot behind her jaw. She brought his mouth back to hers as her hands explored his defined chest and worked their way down to his abs until they reached the lip of his sweatpants. But before she could move any deeper, his hands unlatched her bra, snapping her eyes open and making her gasp in surprise. He kept eye contact as he pulled the straps from off her shoulders, then his eyes roamed her exposed chest as he let her bra drop to the floor. He didn't have long to look before she was pulling his face back to hers, arching her back into his chest, soliciting a groan in response to her flesh against his. Using her hooked legs, she hiked herself more onto his body so that more of her weight was with him rather than on the couch, plastering herself to him so no air remained between their bodies. Needing no further encouragement, Castle clapped one hand to her ass, snaking his other hand around her back, and made their way to his bedroom. She slammed the door behind them and they fell into his bed, not resting until morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It's short, but when I got to the end, I just felt like I couldn't continue in this chapter. I hope you don't mind **** and luck you, you get a quick update! Keep sending reviews because I love to read them and I love feedback. And seriously, you guys, I keep getting all these email alerts about you adding this story to your favorite list and you story alert list. You don't know what it means to me. And then I have people saying this story is beautiful and they can't wait to read more. I just…wow. I love you all **** mkay, enough with the sappy. Go read. And enjoy! Xoxo, Aubrey**

**Oh, and I keep forgetting to put the disclaimer out there, but I don't own any of this. Like at all. And I can't tell you how freaking excited I am about tonight! Finally Castle is BACK! Although I probably don't have to tell you, I can probably guess you're as excited as I am. Loves!**

Chapter 7.

Morning light glittered through the shades and Kate yawned as she opened her eyes, stretching. She stopped suddenly, feeling an arm tighten around her middle. Smiling lazily, Kate turned in his arms and studied the sleeping face before her. Rick face was completely relaxed, a small smile playing on his lips, lips still somewhat swollen from the adventures last night. She felt a blush spread across her cheeks as memories of his hands exploring her body flashed before her eyes. She closed them to see the pictures better and snuggled into Rick's chest, relishing in the scent of him. He was amazing. Every. Part. Of. Him. And he was good. Oh so very good. A shiver ran through her and Kate couldn't help but reach up and stroke his chin, letting her hand trail down to his chest. Another smile stole over her face. Yes, the sex was incredible. But what astounded her was not that fact. The innuendoes over the years, the sultry promises, the stolen glances, and let's face it, the heart-pounding, tension-building _eye_ sex, had all led to this moment. And they hadn't disappointed. No, what astounded her was how very right it all felt. Kate Beckett was lying in Richard Castle's arms, and my _God_, the feelings that evoked within her. Kate bit her lip, wanting so badly to say the words she couldn't. But it wasn't time, not yet. Kate pushed past the fear that always came when she felt herself wanting to give herself to a relationship, knowing that it was more than fear that held her back this time. No, there were some things Rick needed to know, a story she needed to tell him. And until that time came, she just hoped he could read in her eyes that which she desired above all for him to know. _I love you._

Kate was still gazing at his face, fingers tracing patterns on his chest when he awoke with a sigh. Eyes opening slowly, Rick silently took in the sight of her watching him before a huge smile crinkled his features. "Good morning, beautiful," he told her softly, his eyes saying more than his words.

Kate felt a smile of her own return his. "Good morning," she replied. Then she tilted her head up and gave him a swift kiss.

"What time is it?" He asked after she pulled away.

Kate shrugged. "Sunlight time?" She laughed. "I haven't looked at the clock yet."  
"Now who's creepily watching whom?" Rick replied with a sly grin, lifting an eyebrow.

Kate only grinned before placing both hands to the side of his face and pulling him in for another kiss. Rick happily obliged and they were both savoring the moment of their new-found bliss when Kate's phone alarm started blaring out in the hall. Rick groaned into her mouth and Kate laughed.

"Well now we know what time it is," she murmured, kissing him swiftly before dashing out of bed to turn of the alarm, throwing his robe on on her way. She returned a moment later, their disregarded clothes under one arm, and wagging her phone at him with the other. "It's 7:30," she said with a smile.

"Nuh uh, too early," Rick mumbled from the bed. "Come back to bed."

Unable to suppress a smile at his sleepy talk, Kate slipped out of the robe and cuddled in next to him again. "I have to go to work," she sighed a moment later.

"Play hookey," he murmured into her hair.

"Mmmmm, as good as that sounds, I can't. There's something I want to do before I go into work."

"We both had a rough day yesterday, Kate," he said, suddenly serious and pulling her eyes up to his, "I'm sure the Captain would give you the day off if you asked. And then you could spend the day here. With me." His words were innocent, but his eyes suddenly glittered and darkened with passion and longing.

Unsuccessfully trying to ignore the fire suddenly burning through her, Kate give him a look that clearly said _And when have I ever asked for a day off?_ Rick just grinned at her. _Point taken_, he seemed to say. Kate shook her head ruefully. "That may be, but there's still something I need to do today."

"Do you want company?" He asked quietly. She turned a questioning gaze at him, her brows furrowing. Rick smiled in return and ran a finger down her jaw. "You got that far off look you always get whenever you think about your mom's case. You want to go see Lockwood, right?" She nodded, amazed at how well he could read her. _I don't think I'll ever get used to that_, she thought to herself. A point of pride with her had always been that she could mask her true feelings. _How is it that he could always see right through that?_

"Well I figured it would be pointless telling you that you didn't have to go, so I thought I'd offer you a hand to hold," Rick continued, "I could stand outside when you actually talked to him. I know you'd want to do that on your own. But I could be there. For you. If you wanted."

Kate's heart stilled at his words, words that touched her to her very core. "How is it that you understand me so well?" She wondered as she brought her lips to his once more.

"Years and years of practice," he smiled against her lips, then led them in a dance.

_**x-x-x-x-x**_

"Are you ready?" He asked her as he ran his hands down her arms.

Kate sighed into him, drawing warmth and strength from the arms that now encircled her. "I know he won't talk to me," she said softly into his shoulder. "But I have to do this."

"He'll talk to you eventually, Kate, just hold on to that. No one can resist you and your charms forever." Rick grinned at her, immediately easing the tension from her shoulders.

"Trust you to make a situation light," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"It's what you keep me around for," he shrugged.

"That's about it," she summed up, "Though I can't imagine why."  
"My wit, charm, and ruggedly good looks won't let you send me away."

"You keep telling yourself that, writer boy," she said with a slight smile, patting his cheek. Then suddenly his hand wrapped around hers and held it against his cheek. Their smiles fell away and the tension weaved its way back into her shoulders.

"Rick," she began, but he shook his head and cut her off and held her head between her hands.

"Listen to me, Kate. I know this man is not the one who killed your mother, and I know that even though you know it's true, it still feels that way because you had to kill the man who did kill your mother before you got any answers. And I also know that you know that this man is also not the one who ordered the hit on your mom and her co-workers, though he is the man who can give you that name. I know that. And I know he's not going to crack so easily. And I know you aren't going to give up. So let me tell you something you don't know. I have complete and utter faith in you. Always. Forever. I have faith in your abilities as a detective. I have faith in your strength and determination and your honesty. I have faith in your abilities as a woman. I have faith in _you_. So while he won't say anything, you will. You are Katherine Beckett, homicide detective of the NYPD. You have put more people away in here than I hardly dare to count. Think about them while you're in there. Think about what brought you here. Think about your mother." He let go of her face, but kept staring intently into her eyes, his gaze piercing through her. "And I will be here on the other side of the door while you're in there with Lockwood, so know that you aren't going in there alone. Okay?"

Kate stood there, stricken by what he'd just said. He'd spoken to her both intimately and as her partner. He was proud of her. Proud that she was a cop. Proud that she was nobody but herself. She realized then that, unlike any of the other men she'd dated, even Josh, Rick was never going to try to change her. He wanted her just the way she was, loved her _because_ of who she was and what she did. To him they were the same thing. Kate was flabbergasted. This was not the annoying, cocky Rick that shadowed her, nor was this the playboy author that the media portrayed. But Kate was starting to understand that the real Rick Castle was the one right before her eyes. Yes he joked around and messed with her, but that was just to lighted the mood during a dark case. Kate didn't really know why it astounded her to see this side of him, it always came out whenever he was with Alexis or his mother. Maybe it was just the fact that she now brought it out of him as well.

"Kate?" Rick's voice brought her back to reality, and the concern swimming in his eyes brought back her voice. _How can I tell you_, she thought,_ just how immensely grateful I am for your words? That they once again got me through and helped me do what I needed to do?_ Then realization struck and she smiled shyly at him. Looking earnestly into his eyes, Kate spoke the words she knew would truly make him understand just how much he did for her. Leaning into him and tipping her mouth up, she uttered the three words they both knew but never heard her say, and then kissed him, the searing truth of the words burning through both of them.

"I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Dear God this chapter was so hard to write. I don't even know why. But I got through it and I'm pleased enough with the way it turned out : ) I feel like I should explain a little something, too, so you have the right mindset going into this thing. It's from Castle's perspective, first of all. Second, imagine what he will feel when Beckett finally says those three little words. My mind went to a nine year old on a sugar high. Thoughts **_**everywhere**_** and all at once. So that's what this is like. I hope you don't hate it! Next chapter will come soon! I love you all and your fabulous reviews. They make me want to write more. Keep them coming! Oh yeah, disclaimer: I don't own them. K, go have fun! Xoxo, Aubrey**

Chapter 8.

Castle just stared as she walked away. Then his breath came suddenly and his hands moved to his open mouth then down to his chest where she'd placed her hands. When she'd told him she loved him.

Katherine Beckett.

Loved.

Him.

Richard Castle.

_I'm sorry, what?_ A thank you, or a stare where she communicated everything she couldn't say, maybe a kiss, or even a "Sure, whatever, Castle" he'd expected. But _I love you_? And everything he'd heard behind it. Rick knew Kate had her own special way with words, their easy swordplay of words over the years were proof enough of that, but when it came to expressing her feelings, that's where words failed her. Kate always hid herself behind walls, but since meeting her and consequently getting approval to effectively stalk her, Rick had started seeing through those walls to the emotions running underneath. Over the last couple of years he'd developed the skill of watching her micro expressions. If you looked closely enough, Kate Beckett could speak to you without using words. And what she said was marvelous. Kate was smart, sharp, and she felt everything. Rick was convinced that that's what made her such an amazing cop. And it was only part of what made her so extraordinary. But _I love you_?

And then suddenly, Rick was smiling. She'd said it. She'd really said it. _I love you_. Rick had always tried so hard not to listen whenever he read it in her eyes. He knew it had been unintentional, that she wasn't truly aware of her feelings for him. But she had them, and that's what gave him the strength to stick around. _I love you_. Rick shook his head in wonder. Had he heard her right?

Of course he had. She'd told him the only thing she knew would convey everything she's wanted to say. Kate may not be able to express her feelings, but holy hell, when she did…And she'd known he'd understand. Okay maybe not fully. Rick had stood there watching Kate digest his monologue, taking in every expression that crossed her face. Shock, wonder, appreciation, relief, tenderness, understanding. Then she thought about her mother. He could tell because Kate had searched his eyes, pain and shadow and yearning reflecting back in them. There was something about her mother's death that Kate had yet to reveal to him. Something that had to do with him. But before Rick had the chance to ask, Kate had whispered the best three words of his life and kissed him.

And my _God_ that kiss! During their wild, life changing love making experience the night before, he and Kate had shared many kisses. _And speaking of the sex, _Rick let his mind wander just a little bit,_ when Kate said I had no idea, holy—I just—whew she really meant it. I mean wow. And the kisses. The kisses! The kiss!_ Rick got his mind back on track, its jumping in revelation and excitement making it hard for him to concentrate. This was turning out to be the best day of his life. But this last kiss had been something entirely different. Kate had wanted him to understand that what she'd said was true, yes, but it was more than that. Like she was returning something, thanking him. But from what? She was the one who'd saved him, not the other way around.

Rick was pacing, his jumbled thoughts running rampant through his mind. He couldn't remember the last time he couldn't concentrate on one single thing like this. He heard the jail door creak open beside him and his eyes immediately latched on to her. Taking her in, seeing her face, her eyes, her body, her slightly shaking hands, it brought him back. Kate Beckett managed to earth him once again. Rick instantly closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern for her and what had gone on behind the door overriding anything else he wanted to say.

She nodded against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back. "He didn't talk. I knew he wouldn't. He just stared at me. And his eyes were empty. Hard. Like he didn't care, but he was still challenging me." She sighed then pulled back a little ways, wrapped her arms around his neck, and looked into his eyes. "But you were right. I talked. I thought about everyone I'd put away and I told Lockwood about them. And I promised him I would be back every week until he told me what I wanted to know. I did it." She leaned up and kissed him again. "Thank you, Rick."

Rick was speechless. "Why are you thanking me? I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"And what would you be thanking me for?" she asked as they turned to leave the prison, linking her arm through his. "You're the one who's saved my life countless times."

"But you've saved my life, too," Rick told her, gently pulling her to a stop. He looked hard into her eyes. "In every way. Kate, do you have any idea what you do to me? The things you make me feel? You've captivated me since day one. I had to know you. So I created Nikki Heat and made it my mission to discover everything I could about you. Only you wouldn't let me in. Nothing I did worked. You weren't like anyone I'd ever seen. So I decided to take a gamble on you and began to let you in. Into the places only Alexis or my mother has ever seen. I hoped that if I showed you mine, you might show me yours." Rick got the classic eye roll he'd been hoping for, but Kate quickly let the moment pass, silently urging him on with his story. "And slowly but surely it worked. You began to let things slip about yourself. I learned about your mother. And every time you tried to put your walls back up, but something else would make you trust me more. And I found myself wanting that trust more than anything. I found myself wanting you. All of you. Every day. Always." Rick shook his head. "I don't even think I was aware of what I'd begun to feel. I was too caught up in you and what we did together. But then suddenly you were with Demming and I really hated that. So I ran to the Hamptons. I don't even know why I brought Gina along. It was such a mistake, especially when all I could think about was you." He brushed his fingers down her face. "Your face was everywhere in the Hamptons. I couldn't get you to leave. And when I discovered that somewhere along the way I'd fallen in love with you—" But Rick couldn't finish. Kate's lips were on his, pulling him into an intense, heart pounding kiss. Passion and fire mixing together, threatening to overwhelm their senses.

"You've changed me, Kate. Before I knew you I don't know what the hell I was doing, but it sure wasn't living. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes," Rick whispered against her lips.

"Then it's a pain we can both share," she murmured before pulling him back in, a kiss gentle and sure, but still burning. A flame they nourished but kept from blazing into an inferno. That would come later.

"Say it again," Kate asked as they finally walked hand in hand to her car.

"As you wish," he replied. "Katherine Beckett, I love you." He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. She couldn't either.

"Good. Because I love you, too."

"God only knows why."

"Preachin' to the choir there, Writer Boy."

"That's Writer Man to you," he shot back with a smile. "And speaking of work," he began.

"We were talking about work?"

"Funny. You're a funny woman. So," he continued, "I was thinking about how we should handle this at work."

"You were?" She asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. "I thought I would be the one to lay down the ground rules."

"Like I'm going to be the one who has a hard time resisting touching all this amazingness," Rick said. And then he heard how it sounded.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Thank you. But that's not where my mind went."

"Sure it wasn't, Rick."

"Well that's not where my mind went there either. Anyway, I was thinking we could play a little game with the boys back at the precinct. They've been taking bets on us for so long, I don't really feel inclined to give the winner his money. Besides—"

"We wouldn't be us if we didn't mess with them a bit," Kate finished for him, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "Alright, Mr. Castle, what do you propose?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

"Are you ready?" Rick asked her as they stepped into the elevator. She could hear the excitement in his voice and rolled her eyes.

"You're the impulsive one in this relationship, Castle," she responded, nudging him with her shoulder.

He supplied her with a wicked grin that suddenly had Kate wondering if he had something more up his sleeve. "I was born to play this role," he said simply.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him, telling him silently not to try to pull anything, and gave him an innocent smile in return. _Let him stew about _that, she thought as they broke eye contact. They stepped apart as the elevator doors opened and walked into the bull pen.

"Morning, boys," she called to Ryan and Esposito as she sat down into her desk. Rick had gone into the break room to get her a mug of coffee. _Castle_, she told herself, laughing silently at the turn around of the familiar words. _It's Castle, not Rick. Castle._

Ryan and Esposito grunted in return, both engrossed in their paperwork. Kate smiled. This was going to be one hell of a day. She let her mind slip into another place as she started digging in to her own bulk of paperwork. Had it really only been yesterday that all this took place? Catching Lockwood, breaking up with Josh, going back to Rick, _sleeping_ with Rick? So much in so little time. _But then again_, she thought as she signed her name at the end of one file, marking its completion,_ What took us so long to dive in in the first place?_

The sound of a coffee mug being placed in front of her drew her out of her thoughts. "Wanna tell me where your mind just went?" Rick _– Castle –_asked as he sat down in his chair beside her desk.

"Just wondering what took us so long to open our eyes," she murmured honestly, still sorting through her paperwork.

"I just want to take this moment to let you know that it was I who opened his eyes first."

"I think I can justify letting you take this one," she replied, letting her eyes slide to his face, "Just so long as you know how very grateful I am that you waited. Sort of." Then she smiled to let him know she was joking. Sort of.

"I will tell you as many times as it takes how very sorry I am that I left you here to go to the Hamptons." _He always understands_, she thought, shaking her head.

"You don't need to, though it is nice to hear."

Rick reached over and grasped her hand. "Then I only have two things to say to you. I'm sorry and I will be rectifying my wrong, and second, I love you."

Kate felt a blush creep across her cheeks and she smiled. "Technically that was three things. And you'd better be glad we're speaking in hushed voiced or you would have ruined our whole scheme."

"Speaking of which, can we activate phase one?" His blue eyes glittered in excitement again.

Kate smiled and squeezed his hand before pulling away. "Only once we've got their attention, Rick. Not before."

"Oh I'm pretty sure we've got their attention," he waggled his eyebrows at her and she bit back a laugh and let her eyes dart to where they boys were sitting. They were staring, their jaws slightly open.

"Then let the games begin."

"You know the first thing Esposito's gonna do is text Lanie."

"Oh I'm counting on it."

"Now all we need is a case."

* * *

"Bro," Esposito whispered, nudging his partner, "What is going on with those two?"

Ryan looked up from his paperwork and followed his partner's eye line to where Castle and Beckett were sitting close together. Well, clos_er_. He was about to shrug like nothing was really out of the ordinary when he saw Castle reach out and grab Beckett's hand. And Beckett didn't pull away.

"Dude, did you just see-" Ryan asked.

"Since when do they hold hands?"

"What the hell happened in that ambulance?"

"I'm wondering what happened at the entrance to the warehouse."

"But didn't she go home to Josh last night?" Ryan and Esposito looked over at each other. _What was going on?_

"Bro, all I know is that this is one intense conversation they're having and she just freaking squeezed his hand."

"Better shut your mouth, Esposito, or the flies will fall in." Esposito punched Ryan lightly in the shoulder before they both turned their eyes back to their boss. Something was going on here. Both boys hoped it was what they thought it was, but knowing Castle and his devious mind, it could be something different.

"Do you think Beckett would go along with one of Castle's plans?" Ryan asked quietly, knowing his partner would be on the same line of thought.

"Not unless she believed it would work. But this, man? I dunno. Do you honestly think it's a game they're playing? I mean, Beckett doesn't even know what he feels for her, much less that she feels the same way."

"I think it's high time we find out," Ryan said. And they both got up and walked over to the pair in question.

Beckett looked up to them when they arrived at her desk, her face relaxed and innocent, but Esposito noticed her eyes held a little more shine than the day before. "Hey boys, we got a case?"

"Nah, boss, not yet. We're just wondering what's going on over here. Seemed a pretty intense conversation," Esposito said, looking pointedly at their hands.

Beckett shrugged, her face remaining impassive. "Castle was just making sure I was okay after visiting Lockwood this morning."

"Oh." His attention was now thoroughly diverted, brotherly concern for Beckett overriding his curiosity. "How did it go?"

"It didn't. But he's gonna get used to seeing my face," Beckett's lips curved into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Esposito smiled encouragingly. "He'll talk eventually, Beckett."

Ryan nudged his shoulder and got their conversation back on track. "So what did you two do last night?"

It was Castle who answered first this time. "Well I went home and soaked my hand," He held up his bandaged hand as some kind of proof. "Spent some time with Alexis before she sent herself to bed, and then I crashed."

"A little too much excitement for you there, Castle?" Beckett asked.  
"Hey, punching a guy out is a rough job. I see now why you used your gun to knock that guy out." Castle answered, gesturing to her gun.

Beckett raised her eyebrow and smiled slightly. "Yes, well as I remember, I was a little too…_preoccupied_…to punch the guy out." Castle fell forward a little bit in shock at whatever she said. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other in confusion. "Plus, as you've found out, punching a guy leaves you bruised and bloodied, too. And while I'm certainly _capable_, my gun was the easier way to go." She looked over to Ryan and Esposito. "But I took an easy night. Book and a bath."

"What?" They boys asked in unison.

"Last night. I went home and took a bath to relax. With a book," she replied slowly, as if speaking to a third grader.

"My book?" Castle asked, a giddy grin on his face.

"In your dreams, Castle," Beckett rolled her eyes.

"You've got that right," Castle muttered. Ryan and Esposito immediately looked to Beckett to gauge her reaction. But instead of an eye roll or an exasperated sigh, Beckett just broke eye contact and smiled. _Smiled_. The boys raised their eyebrows at each other. But before they could question anything more, Beckett's line rang.

"Beckett," she answered. She wrote down an address. "On our way," she replied before hanging up the phone. "Come on boys, we've got a body."

Esposito let the rest of the crew leave before him and pulled out his phone. "You gonna be at our crime scene today?" He asked when Lanie picked up.

"Javier Esposito, did you seriously just call me at work to see-"

"No listen. I mean, yes, I'd love to see you baby," Esposito fumbled and heard her signature "Mmhm" on the other end, "But you need to keep a close eye on Castle and Beckett today. Somethin's up."

Esposito could practically see Lanie roll her eyes, a trick she had picked up from Beckett. "Well you'd better get here then or you'll miss seein' me before I'm gone."

"I'll be on my best behavior," he promised before she could say it. "Bye," he said softly before hanging up.

* * *

"Esposito hung back as we left," Castle said as they got into her car. Beckett turned toward the direction of midtown and he could tell part of her mind was already preparing her for the crime they were about to see.

"So we should expect Lanie to be paying particular attention," she finished for him, a small smile finding her lips. Castle had a sudden desire to stroke those beautiful lips, lips he'd explored but still felt he could never truly know, lips he was dying to taste again.

"Castle!" Her bark drew him out of his reverie.

"Huh? What?"

"We still clear on what we're doing at the crime scene? We have to play this perfectly. I can't have you getting sidetracked on me."

"You know, Detective, I never pegged you as one with devious behavior? I'm impressed."

"What, my motorcycle isn't enough of a give away, Rick?"

"A motorcycle I still want to ride, by the way."

"You on a motorcycle? No thanks. I'd like you alive if I can help it."

"I'm touched."

"Don't be. I just don't want to fill out the paperwork," she replied with a wry smile.

Castle feigned an injury before replying, "Well to answer your question, I know you have a wild girl past, but I'd figured one of us was the more mature one in the relationship."

"Maturity, yes. Deviousness? No. Who do you think came up with most of the Mayan Curse pranks last year?"

"You evil, evil woman!" Castle exclaimed. They both laughed at the memories and Castle reached over and grabbed her free hand. "But I promise to keep a level head when we reach the crime scene. Scout's honor."

"You never were a Boy Scout, Rick," Kate said pointedly. "But you'd better. I've gotta keep you in line somehow." She smiled over at him.

"Ah, so your reason for your willingness to participate is revealed!" Castle smiled. Receiving her signature eye roll made his smile widen. "I've got you pegged, Detective."

"You think so, Rick?" She asked him as they pulled up to the crime scene. Castle tensed. She had that tone in her voice, that tone that told him something more was coming. "Then tell me, because I'm a little rusty. What exactly-"

"You know what?" He interrupted quickly, "Don't say anything more. Because if you do, I have a feeling I would be forced to disclose our little ruse to anyone who might be watching. And we wouldn't want that, would we, Detective?"

"Mmm, perhaps not." But it still didn't keep her from leaning in closer. Castle tensed even further and leaned slightly back.

"Kate? What are you doing?"

"Putting on a show. Phase one, remember?"

"I'm pretty sure you just skipped to phase three. Possibly four." Castle was desperately trying to fight the urge to grab her and take her in the car. Her cherry scent was intoxicating.

"What, you don't want to play?" She taunted. "Scared you can't keep up?"

Castle gave in, taking the bait and dangling it right back in front of her. "Oh I can keep up alright. You sure you want me to play both games at once? I play best when there are no rules involved. And Detective," he added, his face close to hers now, "All bets are off when it comes to you and your game."

Kate sat back, a satisfied smile on her face, leaving Castle wondering what the hell just happened. "Good," she said. "Do you think we kept them wondering where we were long enough?"

Castle shook his head. "You're impossible, you know that?"

Kate gave him a coy smile. "Can't have you getting bored."

"With you? Never."

"Come on, Writer Boy, we've got a murder to solve and a game to play."

"I bet I find out who murdered the guy first," Castle challenged as they walked to the crime scene.

"Just because you won last time doesn't mean you'll win again."

"Ah, but I didn't win last time, you just let me _think_ I won because you wanted me to stay."

"As if, Castle. If anything it was a tie."

"That you then let me win. My point still stands. You missed me."  
"Oh please, Castle. I just held up my end of the bargain." They were close enough to the scene now that everyone could here what they were saying. By an unspoken, mutual consent, they kept up their bickering, pushing forward with their plan.

"I can tell when you throw your hand at poker, Beckett, don't you think I can tell when you throw your hand at other bets?" Kate remained silent, knowing he'd understand that was he said was true, but that she'd never admit it in public, much less under their current circumstances. "So," he continued, "Assuming we both play fair, I bet I can solve this murder before you can."

Beckett turned to him, her eyebrow raised once again. That damn eyebrow was going to kill him one day. "You're on. What are we playing for?" She asked, quoting their banter from two years ago at their poker rematch. Castle caught on and played along. He stepped in closer.

"Pride, or clothing. I know you don't have any gummy bears left."

"You so eager to wear a dress again, Castle?"

"I catch the murderer who killed this guy and I'll tell you exactly what you've lost."

Kate looked away from him to the body now in front of them, ignoring the stares in their direction, Lanie included. "Well you're already behind, Castle."

Castle followed her gaze and shrugged. "Well then I'll find whoever murdered this _girl_ and will tell you what you've lost."

"Mhm," Kate replied off-handedly, her mind now focused on their new case. "What've we got Lanie?"

Castle let his eyes fall on the ME as she rattled off the details. Jane Doe, bled out from a stab wound in her gut, died around 2 AM this morning. He heard it all, but had to fight the smile that wanted to creep across his face. The ME might be telling them about the dead girl on the ground, but it was plainly written on her face. _What've we got? _it seemed to say, _Why don't you tell me?_

* * *

_So I figured giving you a super long chapter would make up for my long absence from this story. Did it work? Do you forgive me? I promise it wasn't on purpose, but everyone got so excited about the game these two were going to play, wondering what would happen that I suddenly freaked out. I still love each and every one of you, but you guys scared me into writer's block! Haha! I guess you should feel pretty special. I don't want to let you down._

_I love me some reviews, so long as they are nice and shiny ; ) xoxo Aubrey_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So I just want to say one thing. You guys seriously make my day, no my **_**week**_** with all your reviews. I know it was just like 5 or 6, but seriously, knowing you guys love my story is just so amazing. And all the favorite and story alerts you guys are sending me, I get this big goofy grin on my face for each one I see! It's my first story and there are 23 favorites and 58 story alerts! Seriously? I love you ALL.**

**Oh, and the usual disclaimer. I don't own 'em. And don't want to. In Andrew Marlowe I trust.**

Chapter 10.

Lanie just peered up at her friend. Katherine Beckett, hardcore detective, only let her hair fall down and joke when work wasn't involved Katherine Beckett, was making bets at a crime scene. Full out cracking jokes and being all light and happy at a crime scene. Since when does she act like Richard Castle at a time like this? Granted, Lanie liked that her friend wasn't being quite so serious. She knew that Kate always remembered her mom's murder whenever she walked onto a new crime scene. It's part of why she always liked Castle. He brought a lighter aspect to her and Kate's job, annoying as he may be. He helped Kate. So Lanie liked him.

But what was this about playing for pride or clothing and Kate _going along with it_? And with a smile. A smile she tried to hide, but Lanie could see the sparkle in Kate's eyes. Javier was right, something was up.

"What've we got, Lanie?" Kate asked her. _You tell me_, Lanie thought. But she made the decision to play along. For now. She could always resort to cornering Kate down in the morgue. Or Castle. Cornering either of them would work. Castle would probably break faster. But for now Lanie would act as though she didn't see a thing.

"Jane Doe. Preliminary exam shows that she bled out from a stab wound in her abdomen. I put time of death around 2 AM this morning."

"Body drop?"

"The amount of blood around the body suggests she bled out here."

"She looks so peaceful," Castle suddenly said. Both women turned to face him. "I'm just saying, she was stabbed. That's got to be pretty painful. But she looks so peaceful."

"Well, Castle," Lanie explained, "By the time you reach the final stages of dying and you're on that cusp, you don't feel the pain. It's a sort of final defense mechanism. So she was peaceful."

Kate looked at Castle questioningly. "You okay, Castle?"

Castle looked to Kate quickly and held her eyes. Lanie noted how both their features softened. "Yeah, it's just—she's so young and her eyes are closed. Not many of our victims look like this. She could be sleeping."

Lanie watched as Kate looked back down to their victim, her features clouding over in sadness and anger. Anyone else looking at her, Castle excluded, wouldn't see the change. But Lanie knew her best friend well. The girl before them was in her early twenties with long, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. Or they used to be dark blue. Now they were just clouded. After checking them, Lanie had closed her eyes again so Kate could see the body as it had been found. Their Jane Doe was a beautiful young lady, albeit small and petite, though she was muscular for her size.

Lanie watched as something seemed to click in Kate's eyes and heard her friend respond softly but with determination, "But she's not sleeping, Castle. Someone took her life from her and those who loved her. It's our job to figure out who." Castle nodded, a frown still on his face. His mind was still elsewhere. "Anything else, Lanie?" Kate asked.

"Nothing I can give you here. I'll call you when I've finished back at the morgue."

Kate nodded to her then turned to her partner. "Come on, Castle, let's go see what Ryan and Esposito have dragged up."

* * *

"You okay?" Kate asked again. She knew that Castle would tell her the truth now, though she suspected she already knew the answer.

"Yeah, it's just that she's so young," Castle replied.

"And you thought of Alexis," Kate finished, letting her voice communicate that she understood. She couldn't touch him here or speak the words that might help his anxiety, but she hoped he could hear in her voice everything she wished she could do or say. Kate watched as some of the tension relaxed out of his shoulders and felt her own fall slightly as the muscles relaxed.

"That girl couldn't be more than twenty years old. What in the world did she do or see that god her killed?"

"We'll find out, Castle, don't worry. Do you want to go call Alexis?"

"No, she's in class. I'll call her during her lunch period."

Kate nodded and they grew silent as they approached where Ryan and Esposito were questioning witnesses.

"Thank you for your help," Ryan said to one lady as they came to a stop behind the detectives. Ryan turned to them and began debriefing them on what he'd found. "At the moment, all we've found are witnesses who saw the body, but nothing about the murder itself."

"Our canvas of the area brought up nothing as well," Esposito added as he walked up and stood beside his partner. "No one saw or heard anything around TOD this morning. Everyone, it seems, was asleep."

"It's not as though she was concealed," Castle interjected. "You're saying that no one walking by noticed her lying there with blood pouring out of her?" Kate let her hand graze his to silently tell him to slow down. A quick glance from Ryan and Esposito told her the gesture did not go unnoticed. Kate bit back a smile. Although unintentional, it did help their little ruse move along nicely. It also worked. Kate felt more than saw Castle take a deep breath. They'd worked on cases with young girls before, and while she found Castle got more emotionally involved with them, he never got as bad as this. She felt he might explode beside her.

"What I'm saying is that no one has been forthcoming with information, if any is to be offered at all," Esposito replied. But even he seemed to sense that Castle was warring with something inside and softened his tone. "But apparently this little park acts as a playhouse for some folk. We got some descriptions of guys who like to hang around here at night. Maybe one of them will have something."

Kate nodded. "Good. Go see if they can give us anything at all. If someone saw her talking with anybody, or whether it was a robbery gone wrong. I didn't see any ID with the body, was there a purse or a wallet?"

"Not that anyone has found. We've got uniforms checking surrounding dumpsters to see if anything turns up," Ryan answered.

"Alright, well let me know what you find." The boys nodded their heads in acknowledgement before they left, leaving the detective and her writer together. Kate contented herself with waiting, taking the time to observe him when Castle remained silent. She knew she was probably bending the rules to their game a little, but right now her priority was her partner. So she waited.

* * *

Castle was deep in his own mind. He couldn't help it, though he honestly didn't understand why this one case was affecting him so. So while Kate listened and directed Ryan and Esposito, Castle did the only thing he knew would help. He wrote about it in his mind. There were other instances in his past where thinking like this helped, when Alexis had nightmares as a child, or even now when she got into trouble and needed him to say the right thing. Be both the friend and the parent. Writing the scene in his mind allowed him to give her both what she needed as well as what she wanted. Even in the most delicate situations with Kate, Castle would take the time to script what he would say, layout the background, find the backstory, really _think_ things through before he proceeded with her. Those were the times that included her mother. For Castle, writing was the best way to get to the truth.

So that's what he did now. He looked for the story within himself. This girl looked nothing like Alexis, so he knew it wasn't the shock of seeing his daughter on the ground. She was young, so maybe it was just an overwhelming sadness that this girl's life was stolen from her. Castle mentally shook his head. No, it was more than that. She was older than Alexis, so was it that he was hit with the sudden realization that life can be so goddamn short? That Alexis could be gone tomorrow? It was still more than that. He knew how short life could be. He wrote about it for a living. Kate made her living because life was too short for some people. _But this girl_, Castle thought, turning back to where her body had lain, Lanie having come and gone by this point, _This girl is small and young. Her face was peaceful, like she'd seen the good in life and was living it. She hadn't yet had the chance to live, but she was eager to. Maybe that's what I saw in her that made me think of Alexis. She was young and naïve and innocent._ Understanding dawned on Castle's face. He felt Kate shift beside him and knew she was watching him. _She was innocent. She didn't deserve this._ Castle tried to check himself. He knew that his desire to prove someone innocent in the past almost ruined the case, but Castle knew down to his core that this girl was innocent. _Just like my little girl_, he thought,_ And I will make sure she sees justice._

Coming out of his reverie, he found Kate waiting patiently by his side, anxiety in her eyes, though her face remained impassive. When his eyes focused on hers, she silently asked him a question. He nodded and together they walked back to her car. Yes, he was okay, but he couldn't talk about it just yet.

On their way back to the precinct, Castle finally spoke. "I'm sorry I almost lost it back there. Do you think I ruined our game?"

"If anything, you gave way to an opportunity that wouldn't have surfaced otherwise," she replied with a smile. "But it's okay, Rick, I understand that cases like these hit closer to home for you. She wasn't that much older than Alexis."

Castle grunted in acknowledgement and acted like he didn't see Kate's quick glance in his direction. But she didn't push. "What do you think got her killed?" He asked quietly.

"That's what we'll find out, Rick." Kate was quiet a moment and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, debating something. "Can you keep a level head on this one, Castle?" She finally asked. He heard what she was also asking behind her words. _Can I trust you as my partner in this case? Can you still promise me what you promised me back on Damien's case?_

If he was feeling better and if they weren't in a moving car, Castle would have reached over and kissed Kate Beckett on the mouth. But they were and he wasn't, so he settle for the truth. "I trust you and your judgment over my own in cases like these, Kate, and I'll do my best to remember that when I can't think straight."

He caught Kate's eyes for a brief moment before she turned back to the road and smiled at her. She returned the smile before letting it turn playful and asked, "You mean you don't always trust my judgment on other cases?"

"Someday, Detective, you will find yourself thinking as I do, and that will be when I stop second-guessing your logic."

"Oh, you mean when I start spinning stories that have us going off on investigating tangents instead of focusing on gathering actual evidence for us to investigate, you'll start to really listen to me?"

"Exactly. Who needs evidence when you can always come up with a good story?"

"Because, _Castle_, you of all people should know that a story is only good when it has the right ending."

"But not all endings are exciting," Castle mock pouted.

"No, but those are the days you get to go home early and re-write the ending, are they not?" Kate raised her eyebrow at him. "And isn't the best story those that have all the evidence so there isn't a shred of doubt that the guy is innocent?"

"I concede you have a point," Castle stated.

"So should I expect you to start thinking like me, then?"

"What with your logic and facts?" The expression of mock horror on his face had her bursting out in laughter. "Are you trying to kill my creative spirit?"

* * *

Kate was still laughing when she found her parking spot, glad to have diverted Rick's attention for the time being. She knew there was something more about the case bothering him, but she trusted he would tell her in time. If there was something about Richard Castle she could count on, it was that he couldn't keep his mouth closed forever. They walked into the precinct side by side, both of them quieting down from their happy moment in the car. By the time they walked into the bull pen, they were once again stoic and ready to play their game. Castle took a seat in his chair while Kate busied herself with setting up their murder board.

"You know, I've been thinking." Castle said after a few minutes.

"A dangerous pastime," Kate commented, turning to him.

"And yet we live there." Castle leaned forward in his chair. "You know, I find it funny—"

"Castle. Focus."

"Right. So I've been thinking that I should get us one of those fancy murder boards that Agent Shaw has. Or maybe the one I have at home."

"I told you before, Castle, I like the process a white board affords me. That hasn't changed."

"But it could save you so much time," he whined.

"No, you mean it could save _you_ so much time. This part isn't a waste of time to me. You don't have to be here for this."

"Why do I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"Because we have it at the beginning of every case we've had since the Nikki Heat case. And no," Kate quickly interjected as Rick opened his mouth, "Your incessant suggestion will not wear me down until I give in to your insatiable need for the next cool gadgetry." Rick opened and closed his mouth and finally sat back in his chair. Kate turned back to the murder board and finished writing "Jane Doe" on the board. Her timeline drawn out and ready to be pegged, she leaned back against her chair, standing a little closer to Rick than normal.

"You've used a lot of big words today." Castle said.

"I do read, you know, Castle."

"Yes! I do know. Because my books happen to be your favorite."

"So where did I get my large vocabulary?"

"Oh, touché. You wound me, Detective."

"Someone has to keep your ego in check." At that, Beckett's phone rang. "Beckett," she answered. It was Lanie. "Alright, we'll be right down."

"Morgue time?" Castle asked as she hung up.

"Yeah. You okay to go with me?"

"Where else would I be?" He asked, his eyes sincere yet playful. She could tell he was trying not to hide from the case.

"Alright, then Writer Monkey, let's go." They made their way back to her car and started driving to the hospital.

"How is it Sorensen's one use of that name took off with you?" Castle asked as they parked and made their way to the morgue.

"What, Writer Monkey? You have to admit, Castle, if you were an animal, you would be a monkey."  
"I'd like to think that I would be a lion."

"There goes your ego again," Kate commented as she pressed the call button for the elevator.  
"I wouldn't be a lion?" He pouted. Kate bit back a laugh.

"You? A lion? Oh come on, Castle. But you know, a monkey isn't such a bad thing to be. They're also very nosy, playful animals." Castle scoffed as the elevator doors closed in front of them and Kate pressed the button to take them to the morgue. Then she turned to her partner and looped her arms around his neck. "But, you know, they can be rather protective of their young and their territory as well. They carry their young on their back and are very family oriented." She gave him a swift kiss. "No, a monkey isn't a bad thing to be at all."

Castle leaned in to give her another kiss just before the elevator dinged. "Where do you get your source of information?" He asked as they stepped off the elevator.

"Haven't you ever seen Tarzan?" Kate quipped as she pushed through the mortuary doors. "What'd you find, Lanie?"

* * *

_Look at me getting you a new chapter right away-ish! I know things were kind of serious at parts, so I tried to balance it out with laughter. I liked the idea of Kate making Castle feel better by using his MO of banter for a change. I hope you feel the same way. There will be more fun game times in the next chapter, I promise! And I'm morbidly excited about this murder, too. It's my first, so we'll see how it goes! Let me know what you think! I love me some reviews! Xoxo Aubrey_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I did one of those super long chapters again. Sorry…ish. Anyway, since it took me so long my notes are at the bottom : ) Go read, my little lovelies!**

Chapter 11.

"Your Jane Doe had one tough job," Lanie replied, still bent over the girl's body. "X-rays show she'd broken multiple bones, some more than once. All healed, but still." The ME shook her head and lifted Jane Doe's right arm. "The radius in this arm was broken at least three times."

"How can you tell," Castle asked.

"They were all in different places. None of them was a compound fracture, the ones that break through the skin, but they all snapped in their own way." She placed the arm back down and started gesturing to different body parts. "Legs, ribs, arms, wrists, even a few fingers." Lanie gave one of her "Mm Mm"s and then pointed to the stab wound. "This is your cause of death. A knife was thrust into her right anterior side, slicing the pancreas and lacerating the liver."

"How long?" Beckett asked. Lanie knew that face. Kate just needed to hear it. So Lanie obliged.

"If someone had come across her and helped her to the hospital, she would have made it with surgery. But without help, well, she wasn't in pain for very long."

Lanie watched as anger flooded into Kate's eyes. It matched her own, though Lanie was good enough at disguising it and compartmentalizing. Years at her job had taught her the cruelty people were capable of. This girl was no different. She'd seen many cases where someone had stabbed a person and then left them there, crying and bleeding on the street. People often asked Lanie why she chose to be a medical examiner. She sometimes quipped that dead people were much pleasanter than live people, aside from the smell, or that if you messed up an autopsy people were less likely to sue, or even that someone had to. It was very rarely she told the truth. That dead people need saving, too, and she would do her part to bring them that, to give them peace, a final say. That she helped them with one last word to the living, the name of their murderer.

"Anything else?" Kate said, her voice level.

"There were bruises on her wrists, suggesting a struggle, but that's it. I've sent stray fibers I found on her body to the lab," she answered. Kate nodded, lost in thought.

Lanie's eyes flicked to Castle as she watched him move a little closer behind Kate, pretending to peer over her shoulder at the body. Her body unconsciously leaned back into him, but that was nothing new. Lanie wondered if Castle would make some small move or gesture to comfort her when he suddenly stood tall.

"A jockey," he announced.

Beckett turned around to him. "What?"

"She was a jockey. Think about it. Small body, muscular build, broken bones."

"Castle, just because she has a small, tight body doesn't mean she was a jockey."

"No, come on, think about it. She can't be taller than what, 5 feet?" He looked to Lanie for support. She nodded.

"5 feet, 1 inch to be precise."

"Right, and then she's got broken bones everywhere. What other profession comes with multiple broken bones that have healed and then gotten re-broken?" Castle's face was eager, searching Kate's eyes, asking her to believe him. She sighed and turned back to Lanie.

"It's possible," Lanie stated before Kate could say anything, but she held her hands up, communicating that it was not her idea.

"Anything else going on here?" Kate asked, avoiding the subject. But before Lanie could respond, Kate's cellphone rang. "Beckett," she answered. She held up a finger, _hold that thought_, and left the mortuary. Castle looked like he was contemplating following her.

"Hold up," Lanie said and raised an eyebrow. Castle followed suit. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on between you two?" She asked.

"Between me and Beckett? Nothing's going on between us."

"Mmhm," she replied, "I'm not buying that, Castle."

"You've been saying that for what, three years now? What makes you think something's changed this time?"

"I have my sources."

"Ah, your _sources_. I see." Castle gave Lanie a look that suddenly had her squirming. She tried to cover it up by turning it back on him.

"Yes, my _sources_. They tell me things have changed. And I also have _eyes_, Castle. Today at the crime scene? There's something going on between you two."

"Beckett went to see Lockwood this morning," he said by way of explanation. "He wouldn't talk and it had her down, so I've been trying to keep her spirits up." He shrugged. "Just being her friend."

"Mmhm," is all Lanie returned. She wasn't buying it. Their little game this morning wasn't about distracting Kate from her interview this morning.

"And as for your _sources_," Castle continued, unfazed, "You should tell him that you two should probably step it up a notch, because you aren't fooling _anybody_."

Lanie gaped at him for a moment before she was able to compose herself. _They weren't fooling anybody? But they'd been so _careful. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't know what who's talking about?" Kate asked as she re-entered the morgue.

"I'm trying to get Lanie to confess about her and her super secret _resourceful_ relationship," Castle replied, turning to face his partner, a grin on his face.

"Ah. Well, it's hard to hide love when you find it, isn't it Castle?" Kate cocked her head to the side, a coy smile on her face.

"Something I'll be sure to keep in mind for future reference."

"You do that. That was Ryan on the phone." She turned back to Lanie. "Thanks, call us if you find anything else?"

"You know it. And we're gonna have a serious talk later!" She called after her friend as she and Castle left the morgue. "Can't hide it when you find it," she grumbled to her Jane Doe. "They should be one to talk. Because they might not see it, but I do. And if they do see it," Lanie raised her head and looked at the closed doors her friends had just disappeared out of, "Then they are trying to pull one hell of a prank." Pushing those thoughts aside, Lanie went back to work, but after a few minutes she pulled out her cell phone.

"We've got a serious problem," she stated when Esposito picked up.

"I know! Have you seen those two together? It's like 'boom! the sky's lit up' around them. What do you think they're playing at?"

"Most likely payback for all the taunts and bets. But Javi, that's not what I'm talking about. They know. About us."

"Nah, babe, we've been careful. They can't know."

"Uh huh, well then you tell me why both Castle and Beckett are all 'you aren't fooling anybody' down here."

"Lanie, they're playing us to get the spotlight off them," he explained. "Did either of them use my name?"

"No," she answered after a moment.

"Then we're safe. We'll just be careful," he said, his voice relaxed and confident.

"Mmhm," Lanie smiled. "So what's our plan of attack?"

"You focus on Beckett. Ryan and I will handle Castle."

"Got it. We still on for tonight?"

"I'll pick you up at 8."

* * *

"Alright, Ryan what've you got for us?" Kate asked as she and Castle walked back into the bull pen.

"Description of a tall, dark haired male running away from the area our Jane Doe was killed around TOD," Ryan replied, reading off his notebook.

"Anything more specific?" Kate asked as she scribed the information to their murder board.

"Six feet, dark brown maybe black hair, no facial hair, tan jacket, jeans, boots."

"Boots? What kind of boots?" Castle asked quickly. Kate rolled her eyes, though she was more amused than annoyed. Castle and his ponies.

"I dunno. The guy wasn't overly specific, just said the suspect was wearing work boots."

"Don't, Castle," Kate said, holding up a hand.

"How did you know I was going to say anything?" He whined. "Your back is turned to me."

"Boots doesn't mean the girl was a jockey, Castle," she returned, not bothering to really explain. They both knew they were on the same line of thought, even if they didn't agree. "We're going to check every possibility instead of just heading down the jockey track, okay?" Kate did turn to him then and gave him a look meant to remind him of his promise back in the car. "Ryan? Check missing persons for her. Hopefully someone's looking for her. She's around twenty, so hopefully she attends college. Run her through the system, too. You know the drill, just check it all."

"On it." He and Esposito left.

"That includes the Jockey Association, too," she nodded to Castle, "So stop worrying. You've gotta keep an open mind here, Rick."

"I know."

She left it at that. "Aren't you dying to tell me?"

"What?"

"About your conversation with Lanie? Don't you want to regale me with how you held your own against her?" A smile flashed across Castle's face and his eyes lit up again. She smiled at the response and listened as Rick quickly filled her in, their bodies leaning towards each other, both laughing quietly at how easily Castle had turned the tables on Lanie.

"You know, Rick?" She said, leaning back. "It seems like I may have taught you a thing or two about interrogating people."

"I should hope so, Detective. Three years of shadowing you should prove useful in real life situations."

"Although you should know this will have consequences." She raised her eyebrow.

"I fully expect Lanie to call Esposito and for them to retaliate." Castle shrugged.

"Think they'll divide and conquer?" She smiled.

"It is their MO."

"Can you handle them both?"

"The question, my dear Detective, is not whether I can handle the real life Roach, but whether you can handle our little fiery ME down there."

The two looked at each other for a few moments before they burst out laughing, drawing the attention of a few stray detectives passing by. They quickly calmed down and turned to the murder board.

"Alright, Mr. Castle, got any crazy stories for me about this one before we get down to business?"

"Why, Beckett, I'm hurt that my highly plausible and logical stories are not considered 'business' around here. What if I decided to just leave? Then where would you be?"

"Finishing cases a lot faster, I assume," she smiled. "I mean, your theories do involve ninjas and the CIA. And aliens, if I remember correctly."

"Okay, not some of my best work."

"You've used the CIA more than once."

"I will be right one of these days," he began.

"Law of Averages. Right, I remember." Kate smiled wider and nudged him with her shoulder. "So?"

"I already told you, she's a jockey."

"Castle-"

"No, go with me on this one. So she's a jockey, right? So she's killed because she stumbled upon something at the track. People were betting illegally, or a competitor was using performance enhancers. Oo! Or her _boss_ was using performance enhancers on one of their horses. Or! There was jealousy and animosity between Jane Doe and another jockey."

"Or she did something illegal like using performance enhancers on one of her mounts to win more races or rigged a race."

"Or she could have _refused_ to do something illegal like using performance enhancers or wouldn't be bought out by another stable and enticed to rig a race." Castle reiterated her innocence, something not lost on Kate.

"Alright. And if she's not a jockey?"

"Well she's twenty, so we can rule out being a big-wiz at some fancy law firm or something."

"No, but maybe she saw something? And had to be silenced?"

"Or a lover got jealous and in a moment of fury stabbed her?"

"But all this happened at 2 AM at a park."

"So then there was a secret meeting in the moonlight. Like and exchange of information." Castle snapped his fingers. "She was a spy!"

"Not a spy, bro," Esposito said as he and Ryan walked back into the bull pen. "So check it, Ryan and I just spoke with Missing Persons and someone matching the description of our Jane Doe was reported missing this morning. They're sending her picture down now."

"So what makes you think this is our girl?" Kate asked as the printer-fax machine spit out a sheet.

"Because of what she does," Esposito took a look at the page before handing it over. "And because of this."

Kate's eyes settled on the face before her. It was their Jane Doe. Castle stood up and placed himself behind her.

"Bam! Said the lady!" He cried out as he flicked the page. "Kaylan Richardson, 20, and what's that? Jockey extraordinaire!"

"Alright sit down before you hurt yourself, Castle," Kate said as she pinned up Kaylan's photo and erased 'Jane Doe' for 'Kaylan Richardson.' "Who reported her missing?"

"Her trainer, Colin Anders."

"Let's bring him in."

_Alright, so thoughts? I know it took me forever to get you this chapter, but now that I'm on break I should have ample time to get you more goodness! We'll get some Caskett time soon, no worries, and I plan on bringing Martha and Alexis into the story, too. Don't worry, I've got you covered. : ) And thanks so very much for all the reviews and such! You honestly don't know how much it means to me. I get all smiley and giggly and people ask me what's wrong : ) In any case, please please let me know what you think! More? Less? Get on with it already? Anything is fine by me! Xoxo Aubrey_


	12. Chapter 12

**Standard disclaimers apply: I. Do. Not. Own. Castle. And it's probably a good thing, too. But I do like to borrow them every once in a while…they're very fun to talk to and play with : P. K, go read.**

Chapter 12.

"Thank you for coming in, Mr. Anders," Kate said as she led the trainer into the break room. "How well did you know Ms. Richardson?"

"Not much beyond our professional relationship," the man answered. Kate could read the shock on his face. She knew that when Anders reported the jockey missing this morning he never thought the girl would end up dead.

"What can you tell me about her?" Kate prompted, softening her voice.

"She was a good jockey. Started late. Most kids go out for their license at 16 after having been an exercise rider for a couple of years. But Kaylan started riding racehorses when she was 16, maybe 17. Got her license at 18." Anders smiled at some memory. "She was something to watch on the track. You could tell she really loved it. And the horses responded to it. She blew through her rookie status quickly, became a sought-after jockey by the time she turned 20 a few months ago." He shook his head. "It's a shame to lose her."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Anders," Kate empathized.

"Can you think of anyone who wanted to hurt her?" Castle piped up. "An argument she told you about, threats, a jealous competitor?"

Anders shook his head. "No. I mean, it's a rough business, but no one really stands out," he said, looking back and forth between the two. "Kaylan was respected. A few bumps and bruises along the way, but we've all been there. And Kaylan wasn't going to ride forever. She's got-had, she had dreams of owning her own stable one day." Suddenly Anders eyes got big. "Jessie Rines."

Kate wrote down the name in her notebook. "Who's Jessie Rines?"

"Another jockey."

"A rival of Kaylan's?" Castle asked.

"You could say that," Anders nodded. "I just remembered. Jessie works for Breaking Meadows Racing Stable. I overheard her ragging on Kaylan for coming in and messing up her racing career. You have to understand, Kaylan's as close to a racing prodigy as I've ever seen. She had a way with the horses. She's hardly run a race and not at least placed if not won. It's amazing. Jessie was number one until Kaylan came along." He paused and Kate nodded for Anders to go on. She noticed how Castle had leaned forward. He always loved a good story. "So Jessie's talking about how she won't be pushed into second place, that she isn't some second-rate jock. That she'd find a way to make it back to number one and she wasn't going to wait for Kaylan to move on. You could tell that Jessie didn't appreciate the fact that Kaylan just appeared on the scene and wasn't planning on sticking around. Like being a jockey wasn't good enough."

Kate finished noting all this in her notebook before she responded. It was certainly a place to start. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Anders. We'll be in touch if we need anything. And please," she said, handing him her business card, "If you think of anything else, don't hesitate to call."

Anders nodded. "Thank you, Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle." Then he was gone.

"What do you think?" Kate asked as she finished writing the new information up on their murder board.

"I think Jessie Rines sounds like a shady character," Castle answered, "But I also think we need more information."

Kate turned around and looked at him, shocked.

Castle shrugged, a grin on his face. "Just trying to keep you on your toes, Detective."

"No, it's good," she said. "I'm just not used to seeing you all reasonable."

Castle approached her and leaned in close. "I've got moves you've never seen," he whispered into her ears. "So, you ready for lunch?"

"What?"

"Lunch. Time." He said slowly, annunciating each word carefully. "When people eat food during the day." He picked up her jacket and handed it to her. "Come on, all the cool kids are doing it."

"Remy's?"

"It's like you can read my mind," he smiled, holding out his arm. She laced hers through. They had to keep up their ruse somehow.

"You two going somewhere?" Esposito asked slyly. _Perfect timing_, Kate thought. She glanced at Castle. _Your turn_.

"Lunch," Castle answered. Kate had to fight to roll her eyes. _Feed them more, Rick_. "You two wanna come?" He asked.

"Nah, bro, you two have fun on your date."

This time Kate did roll her eyes. "It's not a date, Espo, but you tell Lanie hi for me when you take your break."

"I honestly don't know why they hide it," Castle said to her, just loud enough for Ryan and Esposito to hear. "It's not like it would be a bad thing if they started dating."

"I don't know, Castle. You're the writer, why would they hide something like that?" She answered, a coy smile on her face. Now all they had to do was wait for Esposito to jump in.

"There's actually nothing to hide," Esposito said, right on cue. "Now, with you two there's a whole other story."

"Story?" Kate asked innocently, turning to Castle. "What story?"

"I'm not sure, Beckett. Is there something we're supposed to be hiding?" She could read the laughter in his eyes. _I think we're having a little bit too much fun with this,_ she thought_, we're beginning to take it a little too far._ Castle seemed to read it in her eyes.

"Should we tell them?" He asked her.

"I don't know, Castle. It might be too soon." _I didn't mean we have to stop!_ Then she saw the mischief sparkle in his eyes.

"No, Kate, I think they can handle the truth. They've been waiting for so long."

"Oh for God's sake," Ryan said, "It's three simple words. We. Are. Together."

"Huh?" Kate said.

"What?" Castle said at the same time. "No, that's not what we meant."

"Yeah, we were just debating whether to tell you about Castle's little surprise." _Which would be? _She suddenly wondered. Now was not the time for Castle's little mind games to fail her, although Ryan and Esposito's faces were priceless right now. _Man do I wish I had a camera._

"I got you all a cop's discount at The Old Haunt. Basically you guys get to drink there for free."

Thoroughly diverted, the boys let out a big "Whoop!" and slapped each other on the back. "Oh, come on," Castle said, the biggest grin on his face, "Somebody feed these birds!" All three of them acquiesced, tapping their fingers to his.

"You guys sure you don't want to join us for lunch?" Kate asked as she and Rick turned to leave.

"You kiddin'?" Esposito said, "We're gonna stay and crack this case wide open so we can have celebratory drinks at our new favorite bar tonight!" Ryan and Esposito shared a fist bump.

Kate chuckled. "See you guys later then."

* * *

"Best. Game. Ever." Castle said as they slid into their booth at Remy's.

"Don't pat yourself on the back too hard there, Rick," Kate responded, "We almost pushed it too far back there."

"Which is why I have you," Castle replied, "To pull me back off the ledge when I go too far."

"Huh. So I should probably get a leash and collar, then, so I don't have to be constantly reaching out and pulling you back."

"I like it. Just how hard will you be pulling, now?"

Kate smiled and lifted that damn eyebrow again. "Oh it'll be a retractable leash. A few hard yanks and you should fall into line."

"You sure you want me tethered to you at all hours, Detective? I can be _very_ persistent. You may need to do more than yank my chain to make me behave."

Kate shrugged. "I'll get a choke chain then, to get you in line. Make you heel, sit, lie down." Her voice had turned sultry, seductive.

"Will you spank me if I misbehave?" He murmured, leaning over the table.

Kate smiled, her eyes suddenly laughing at him. "Nope. I'll just put you in the doghouse."

Castle sat back, stunned. _How the _hell_ does she do that?_ Castle knew one thing for sure. He'd never look at a dog's leash and collar in the same way again.

The waitress came by and they ordered their lunch.

"Castle?" Kate asked a few minutes later, her voice timid.

Castle cocked his head. "What is it?"

"I was just thinking…This, you, me, it's real, right?"

Castle grinned and shook his head. "You ridiculous woman. Yes, this is real. If you want it to be." He reached over the table and took her hands in his. "If _you _want us to be."

She smiled, but just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared. "Do I need to—I mean, what about Alexis and your mother?"

Castle laughed out loud and then quickly cleared his throat and sobered down at the look on her face. "Kate, they've been wondering when we'd get together as long, perhaps even longer than everybody at the precinct. They'll be thrilled. Mother loves you, and Alexis adores you. She really looks up to you and admires you. You have nothing to be worried about."

"Really?" She asked. Castle shook his head again, smiling. Sometimes it amazed him that she didn't understand just how extraordinary she really was.

"Really. They've been doing all but tossing bets around. I tell you what. Come have dinner with us tonight and we'll all discuss how long it took us to open our eyes. Maybe we can even get ideas for our little prank. Deal?"

Kate smiled and he watched as some tension left her face and shoulders. He'd have to massage the rest of it out later. And then after that…

"Deal," she agreed, drawing him out of his fantasy. But he didn't mind so much. Today his reality was much better than any fantasy he could dream up.

"I do have one request to make, however," he stated.

"Oh yeah?" She asked, suddenly apprehensive. "What would that be?"

"Can we actually go _out_ to see Jessie Rines?"

"I was planning on it," she said. The waitress arrived at that moment with their meal. "But you are _not_ buying me a pony, Richard Castle."

"But I totally could," he said with a smile as he took his first bite. "You just let me know if something there catches your fancy." He earned an eye roll and grinned in victory.

When they finished, Castle left a few bills on the table to pay for the meal. "You can get the next one," he promised her when Kate protested. He knew she wouldn't let him pay for everything, but he still believed that chivalry wasn't all dead. Pony aside, he would do what he could to pamper his girlfriend. A shiver of pleasure ran down his spine at that though. His girlfriend, Detective Kate Beckett. It had a nice ring to it. Only one word could change it to make it sound better. But that would come later. _Much later_, he thought. _She would kill me if I turned 'always' into an actual forever thing._

Kate called Ryan and Esposito to let them know they would be visiting Breaking Meadows Racing Stable to talk to Jessie Rines as they settled into her car and drove away from the diner. He watched Kate roll her eyes and knew that one of them had asked about their "date."

"Oh yeah, you really missed out," Kate replied sarcastically. "Castle kept talking about getting a dog the whole time." Castle coughed, choking on air, and earned a slap on the arm to shut up. Kate failed miserably at trying to hide a smile at his reaction. "Hmm? Oh nothing. Castle forgot how to swallow for a minute. Give me a call if anything else happens. Run down any known associates, friends, boyfriends, anything that would give us more of a picture of this girl." She let out a chuckle when she hung up.

"You are a tease," Castle stated once he recovered.

"You're just an easy mark, Castle," she smiled.

A while later they reached the gate marking the entrance to Breaking Meadows. Black, iron horses pranced above them in an elegant design that flowed and ended on either side of the road. Castle watched in amazement as Kate drove them up the winding drive, past green pastures lined with black fences and tall, sleek horses peppering the fields, grazing the lawn as if they didn't have a care in the world. Maybe they didn't. Presently they came upon a magnificent stable. Dark brown, crème, with black lining. Prestigious. Magnificent. Impressive. _And imposing_, Castle thought,_ These people want to make a statement. _He stole a glance at his partner. Her face said the same thing. She pulled up to the front of the barn and parked beside the other vehicles.

"Alright, let's go," she said after she turned off the engine. She looked over at him, her face impassive and confident, but her eyes asking for reassurance. He smiled at her.

"This is so cool!"

She rolled her eyes. But it worked.

They entered the stable and walked down the wide aisle, passing stabled horses on either side. They raised their heads, ears pointed, looking inquisitively at the newcomers. A stable hand stopped them.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" He asked.

Kate held up her badge. "Detective Kate Beckett. I'm looking for Jessie Rines."

"I'm Jessie Rines," a young woman's voice said behind them. The pair turned and Castle took in the woman, a tall, thin frame, but strong.

"Hi, Detective Beckett, this is Richard Castle. I have a few questions to ask you about Kaylan Richardson."

"Um, yeah, sure," Rines said, apparently confused, "Please follow me. Jake, can you tell Mike that I'm gonna be a few minutes?" The stable hand who'd stopped them nodded and left the stable. Rines beckoned them to follow and led them into a small sitting room.

"This is our break room," Rines explained. "We won't be disturbed here. Did something happen to Kaylan?"

"You're tall for a jockey," Castle suddenly said, earning a disapproving look from Kate. "Sorry," he said to both of them, "I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's fine. You're right, I am. But when it's in your blood," Rines shrugged, not bothering to finished her sentence. She didn't need to. They both understood that when something called you, even if it wasn't planned, you answered.

"Kaylan was murdered this morning," Kate said, getting them back to business. "Around 2 AM in midtown near her apartment."

"What?" Rines exclaimed, her hand on her heart, "That's terrible! What happened?"

"She was stabbed," Castle supplied, "Do you have any idea why someone would do that to her?"

"Me? No, not at all."

"Ms. Rines, I have to ask you," Kate said, "Where were you between 1 and 3 this morning?"

"Please, call me Jessie. And I was at home with my boyfriend asleep. I had to be at work this morning by 5 so I was soaking up all the hours I could."

"Can anyone else corroborate that?"

"Um, I don't know. Other than my boyfriend, maybe my doorman? I'm sure they have security cameras. She was stabbed?"

"Did you two get along?" Kate asked.

"No, not really. She was one hell of a jockey, took the spotlight, you know? You could say we were rivals, so I wouldn't call us friends, but I would never wish her dead."

"Kaylan's trainer, Colin Anders, told us you had threatened Kaylan not too long ago. How you weren't going to stand by and let her muscle you out of the spotlight, especially since she wasn't going to stay a jockey forever." Castle watched in pride as Kate settled into interrogation mode, but kept her voice calm and gentle for the scared jockey sitting across from them.

Jessie's eyes widened in fear. "I did. But I was just blowing off steam. She and I had just raced against each other and she'd won again. My horse burned out and finished in 6th place. I was pissed. I wasn't going to go out and kill her for being a better rider than I was. I would never take her life."

Kate nodded and Castle agreed. This girl wasn't their killer. Not right now anyway. "Can you think of anyone who would take her life?" Castle asked. "Anyone at all? Someone she got into an argument with? Someone who would want to sabotage her career but decided to just take care of her once and for all?"

Jessie shook her head. "No, but you should talk to Mr. Townsend. He owns Breaking Meadows. I saw him talking with Kaylan at the track the other day. It seemed pretty heated. He was standing close to her and she was shaking her head pretty hard. When she went to walk away he grabbed her arm. She ripped it from his grasp and took off."

"You don't know what it was about?" Kate asked eagerly.

"No, but he's here today. I can take you to him. But then I've got to get back to work. I've got to exercise Rocky."

"Thank you, Jessie," Kate said as they followed her out of the room. Jessie led them the racetrack at the top of the hill. Two men leaned against the railing, the shorter one in jeans and a beat up t-shirt and the other in an expensive suit. They were both studying something in the shorter man's hand.

"Mike? Mr. Townsend? This is Detective Beckett and Richard Castle from the NYPD. They're here about Kaylan Richardson. She's dead." After introducing them, Jessie stepped to the side.

The man in the suit stepped up and shook Kate's hand, then Castle's. "John Townsend, owner of Breaking Meadows. I'm sorry we had to meet under such terrible circumstances, Mr. Castle, but I am a big fan. I take it this is the inspiration for your fine work in the Heat series?" He asked, turning his eyes to Kate. "Detective Beckett, a pleasure. If you're anything like your character, I'm sure we can trust you to find whoever did this to Kaylan. A terrible business, murder." Kate seemed a little stunned into silence and simply nodded and smiled politely.

The shorter man stepped up to comfort Jessie and patted her back. He nodded to the couple. "Michael Westland, I train for Breaking Meadows."

Kate nodded to him then turned her attention to John Townsend. "Mr. Townsend, I'd appreciate it if you could spare a few minutes to ask you a few questions."

"Of course, Detective, please follow me." With a nod to the trainer, Townsend led Castle and Kate away from the trainer and jockey and towards a large oak tree beside the track. "What can I do for you?" He asked once they reached their destination.

"Mr. Townsend, do you know of anybody who would want to kill Miss Richardson?" Kate asked.

"No, I don't, I'm sorry," the man responded instantly. "Kaylan had a bright future. She was one hell of a jockey, and I don't say that lightly. I even offered her a position here not too long ago, but she declined."

"You offered her a job here?" Castle repeated, glancing at Kate quickly. "Don't you already have a jockey?"

"Jessie's a fantastic jockey, but it's not like she has to be my only option."

"But wouldn't it make Jessie jealous of Kaylan?" Kate asked.

"Jealous enough to _kill_?" Castle finished for her.

"Jessie had no idea of my offer to Kaylan, and if she did I'm sure she wouldn't kill the girl. She's not the only jockey on my payroll anyway. I have several other riders that I use," Townsend responded, becoming somewhat flustered. Castle took note of it and decided to push a little further. He knew it would be Kate's next question anyway.

"Jessie said she saw you arguing with Kaylan yesterday at the track," he began.

"Care to elaborate for us?" Kate cut in. Castle bit back a smile.

Townsend sighed and pinched his nose. "I wouldn't call it an argument," he said, "More like a heated discussion."

"She said you grabbed Kaylan's arm as she tried to walk away," Kate interjected, eyebrow raised. "I'd call that an argument. Even if there weren't voices raised." She was throwing Townsend a line, Castle knew, to see if he would come clean and tell them what they needed to know.

"Yes, I did. Like I said, it was a heated argument. She'd told me the day before that while she was flattered, she wouldn't think about leaving Bent Tree to ride for me. So yesterday I approached her with a new offer. I promised to make her a trainer in due time if she threw her next race in favor of her new team." He sighed. "If anything, my poorly worded speech only solidified her resolve. She refused and tried to walk away. When I grabbed her arm, she pulled away and stalked off." Townsend looked into both their eyes for a moment. "It's not something I'm proud of, and I hate that that was to be one of her last memories, but it happened."

Castle watched as Kate considered him for a moment then nodded. "I only have one other question, then, Mr. Townsend. Where were you between 1 and 3 this morning?"

"I was at home asleep with my wife," he said. "I didn't get up and leave in the middle of the night to kill the girl. I had plans to apologize to her the next time I saw her. My behavior was inexcusable and I still wanted her on my team."

"Is there anybody who could corroborate that?" Kate asked.

Townsend ran a hand through his hair, thinking. Castle marveled at the change in the man. Townsend had turned from slick businessman to just a regular bloke, sad and defeated in the face of death. "Anyone who was on the nightshift could probably say the didn't see me. Or," he exclaimed, his face suddenly perking up, "You could check the gate. I doubt anybody entered or exited the property during those hours last night. We also have cameras. They'll be able to tell you I didn't leave."

Kate made a note of it in her notebook before putting it away. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Townsend. We'll be in touch. If you think of anything else, please let us know."

"I will," he replied, shaking their hands again, the businessman back, "Good luck in your investigation, Detective. Mr. Castle."

They watched him walk away before Castle turned to his partner. "Well that was fun," he said.

Kate smiled. "What, you don't believe him, Castle?"

"No, I think he was very honest with us. He's not short on charm, that's for sure."

"Well he's a businessman, a racing stable owner, what do you expect? But we'll keep tabs on him."

"You think he was too honest?"

"I think he's still hiding something."

"Like the fact that he's our killer?"

"No, like the fact he may have an idea of who is."

Castle followed her eye line and took in what she was watching. Mr. Townsend was speaking with the trainer, Michael Westland, in hushed tones. Jessie had disappeared from view, but a quick look to the track told Castle she was working one of the horses. "Hmm, shall we go talk to him?" He asked, holding out his arm for her. Kate slapped it away.

"We are not on a date, Richard Castle. I will not be looping my arm with yours to interrogate potential suspects."

"But we could be," Castle said, dipping his head close to her ear. "We could make this a very fun adventure for you an I."

Kate leaned back to make eye contact with him and reached one hand up to slide around his neck. Castle actually thought he'd convinced her when—"Ow! Apples, apples, apples!" Kate let go of his ear and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Now do I need to go chain you to the car, or can I trust you to focus?"

In fear of her twisting his ear again, Castle bit back a retort and tried to squash down the images she brought to his minds of chains and leashes and—

"Remember the doghouse, Rick," she whispered in his ear. Then her phone rang. Kate sighed. "Beckett," she answered. A few moments and then, "On our way." She turned to Castle, a teasing smile on her face. "Looks like you get to sit in the car anyway, Ricky." She patted his cheek before walking over to the trainer and stable owner, who had now gone back to watching the horses on the track. She spoke quietly to Michael Westland and handed him her business card. Castle knew she was telling him she'd be in touch to set up an interview time and waited for her to walk back to the car.

"Can I drive?" He asked her when she met up with him. He got himself an eye roll and grinned.

"I'd like to make it back home alive, if you don't mind."

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm an excellent driver," he said.

"Which is why you take a taxi to get everywhere," she shot back.

"You know what? Just for that you're cooking dinner tonight for us."

"You just miss my fabulous cooking," Kate quipped as she settled into the driver's seat. But Castle could see the slight heat rise to her cheeks. He smiled.

"That I did. Plus you're totally saving me from worrying about dinner tonight. It was my turn and I really didn't feel like cooking."

"So that's how we're breaking me in? We tell your family and say please don't hurt Kate, she cooked for us after all?"

Castle actually laughed out loud at that. "I love it! And we can say that you've poisoned it and have the only known antidote if they don't accept you." Castle reached over and took her hand. "You honestly have nothing to worry about, Kate. Nothing at all. I do have to warn you about one thing, though."

Kate glanced over at him, brows furrowed. She really was too cute when she was trying not to show him just how much she was worried about making a good impression. Ridiculous woman. She'd already lived with his family for a little bit after her place blew up. Castle shook his head and squeezed her hand.

"My family is big on hugs. You might as well pop your personal space bubble right now." He watched as the tension broke and Kate started laughing. He smiled and joined in, but the only thing he could think was that her voice had to be the most musical thing in the whole world. Even the satisfaction of knowing his gut had been right about Kaylan couldn't compete with this moment. But then again, nothing in his world could compete with Kate Beckett. She was at the center. And he'd gladly spend the rest of his life making sure she never left it.

* * *

_Dear God this chapter was impossible to end! I've just been writing and waiting for the end to be like "Oh here I am!" But it NEVER CAME. This ending seems so fluffy to me, and don't get me wrong, i LOVE fluff, but I like snappy, cliff-hangery endings. But alas, you can't always get what you want. So I'm so sorry this has been so long in the coming. I know I said it was spring break and I had two weeks off and would be able to get more chapters out. Note to self, don't promise something you can't be sure to keep. I got sick and it just kind of messed everything up. And teachers decided to be cruel with assignments and tests due the week we get back. So naturally I spent all my time on this when I got the chance. It's my longest chapter yet, but I was told not to apologize for it. So I'm not . It's 11 pages in my word document version. Woot! So yeah! Click that little "Review This Chapter" button and tell me what you thought! Because you guys seriously make my life with your reviews and alerts. Seriously. It warms my heart each and every time. I love you guys. You know, I started writing this thing for me and thought "oh yeah, this'll be great, and if people like it, all the better!" But now it's turned into me writing it more for you than for me. And I like it that way . _

_Alexis and Martha coming soon! I'm thinking next chapter, but we'll see. I'm thinking the timeline needs to be sped up just a little bit, don't you? We're onto chapter 13 now and it's still only the next day! Sadness, thy name is Aubrey. Alright, I'm gone. I'll try to write it soon, I promise! Xoxo!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own Castle. Nor would I want to. Have you seen Knockout? It's a whole week later and I'm still not recovered.**

Chapter 13.

Hours later, Kate falls back into her chair with a sigh. Castle looked up from his cell phone where he'd been playing Angry Birds. Kate knew because Castle had refused to turn down the volume, saying it "would ruin the epicness that is Angry Birds."

"Bad news?" He asked.

"Bad for us, good for Jessie. Her alibi just checked out. Aside from her boyfriend, the doorman and cameras can both attest that she didn't leave the building after she came in last night around 8:45."

"So now we're back to square one," Castle said, echoing Kate's sigh. An hour ago they'd been able to verify John Townsend's alibi as well.

"Perhaps. I have an interview set up with Michael Westland tomorrow, so hopefully he can give us more information. I have a feeling he'd know more about Breaking Meadows and Bent Tree, the rivalry between the two jockeys, and even about Townsend's offer to Kaylan."

"Not to mention the fact that Townsend immediately sought him out after our interview."

"Right."

"But we also need to know more about Kaylan herself," Castle argued, "Not just about what choices she made more didn't make or what was offered to her."

"I know, Castle," Kate responded, looking over at him. He'd been doing that all day, arguing on behalf of Kaylan, standing up for her, as if Kate didn't believe the best of Kaylan already. "Look," she said, placing her hand over his. "I don't think Kaylan is like Damien. I think she's honestly a good person. Everything we've learned about her points to that conclusion. It wasn't like that with your old friend, but it is like that with this victim. So you don't have to defend her to me." She squeezed his hand before letting go and watched as some of the tension left his face.

"I know. Really, I do. I just…Kate, she was so young. So innocent. Like Alexis. I just want her to see justice." He looked pleadingly into her eyes and Kate's heart responded with a tug. And with a twinge of frustration. Part of her just wanted to hold him and tell him they would get the guy and that Alexis was safe and the other part of her wanted to slap him. She went with a little bit of both.

"Rick, that's why we're here," she said, her voice gentle, but firm. "To get the bad guys and bring her to justice. I won't rest until that happens. You know that." He ran his hand through his hair, hoping to hide his grimace. Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm not mad, Castle." She waited until he met her eyes again before continuing. "You should know by now that we're on the same page, _always_."

He smiled at their word and nodded. _I do know_, he said with his eyes, _And I'll remember next time._ "So," he said brightly, changing the subject. "Shall we go?" Castle stood and held out his arm.

"Go?" Kate asked. Wasn't he just remarking on finding justice?

"Okay, I'm going to explain this to you again," he said, sitting back down, a twinkle in his blue eyes. Kate rolled her eyes but let him continue. "There are these times, normally three times a day, when people sit down and feed themselves some sort of sustenance. They're called breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We did the whole lunch thing and I always bring you breakfast, but now it's time for dinner."

"I know what meals are, _Castle_," she returned, exacerbated. "You know, if my pep talks are going to get you in this good a mood, I'm going to stop handing out speeches."

"It's getting dark outside, _Beckett_, and while you and I are used to Chinese takeout propped on the side of your desk at ungodly hours, my mother and daughter are not. So," he said with a smile, holding out his arm again. "Shall we go?"

"I can't just leave the case like this, Castle, no matter how much I would like to go home right now." Then she froze and snuck a glance at her partner. _I did _not _just call Rick's loft home. No, I didn't. I didn't. Shit. Yes I did._ And by the look on Rick's face, he realized it too. But by some saving grace he looked past it for the time being.

"You have Ryan and Esposito running down known associates of Kaylan and we'll be notified if anything urgent pops up tonight. If not, then we'll hit it hard tomorrow." He cupped a hand around her elbow and pulled Kate up. "There's a time to work and a time to leave it, Kate," he murmured. "This is the time to leave it, to rest. Play now, work later," he teased.

"I didn't know your daughter was still into board games, Rick," she smiled, "But I suppose for her sake I can play something. I myself was a fan of Trouble."

Castle smirked. "You are _not_ teaching my daughter how to play Trouble, my dear Detective. I know the kind of trouble you get in."

"Uh huh, and what board games do you like, Rick?"

"I myself am a huge fan of Clue."

"So instead of teaching your daughter to move a piece of plastic around a board, you taught her how to murder someone and try to get away with it."

"Well when you put it that way it sounds bad. But we had fun times."

"Teaching your daughter how to kill someone and then make it out of the house without being caught."

"You make it sound so _bad_."

"Castle. It is bad."

"Would it make it sound better that she's the one who told me about the game first?"

Kate sighed and shook her head. "Only if you then say she taught you the game and you two just had fun playing it and you made sure she never won."

"I—uh," Castle raised his pointer finger and then paused and covered his mouth, contemplating.

"Spit it out, Rick."

"Well she actually won most times. I was a complete failure."

Kate giggled and shook her head again. "This is brand new information, Castle. We all know you'd never commit a successful murder."

"I am offended that you think I'd be so careless at my own crime scene. After all the scenes we've been to together and all the ones I've written in my books."

"Don't whine, Castle. I think your crime scene would be immaculate. There's only one problem you'd find you'd run into after you killed the guy."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"Who does anybody call to move a body after they commit a murder?" She asked instead, cocking her head to the side and appraising him.

"The best friend," he answered immediately. Kate just raised her eyebrow. Understanding flashed across his features and he smiled.

"You're right. I couldn't call Ryan or Esposito to move the body. They'd just arrest me." He smiled ruefully at her. "And I definitely couldn't call you. You'd just shoot me outright."

Kate bit her bottom lip and ducked her head, smiling. _What a pair_, she thought. But then her stomach growled, reminding Kate of where their conversation started. She stood up. "You guys might as well head out, too," she told Ryan and Esposito as she slipped into her leather jacket. Then she noticed they were already rounding their desks in preparation to go. "Oh, you two have plans tonight?"

"Well since we didn't crack the case tonight, The Old Haunt is out. And Jenny said she'd kill me if I missed dinner again tonight, so I'm making sure I'm home early," Ryan said with a sheepish grin. Esposito made some sort of a cough that resounded with the word "whipped." Castle chuckled beside her.

"And, you Espo? Got plans with a special someone?" Castle piped up, wagging his eyebrows.

"I have no idea to whom you might be referring," Esposito replied, trying to pull of an aloof look.

"Nice use of grammar, but that doesn't change anything, Esposito," Kate said dryly.

"And what about you two? Anything special planned?" He returned.

Kate looked at Castle, contemplating. He grinned so she let him take the lead. "I dunno," he said, turning back to Kate, "Do you have anything special planned?"

Kate shrugged. "I was just gonna take it easy, order dinner in a watch a movie or something."

"Oo a movie sounds good!" Castle exclaimed. "What do you think you're going to watch?"

"I don't know yet, Castle. I'm not in the mood for anything in particular."

"Josh on call again tonight?" Ryan asked, clearly fishing.

"I wouldn't know, Ryan, we broke up. But I can safely assume he's on shift or back in a third world country."

"So you two _are_ together!"

"Now how do you get from me no longer with Josh to being with Castle?" The boys had no answer for that one, so Kate just grinned and headed off for the elevator, Castle right beside her as always.

"So are you wanting to watch a movie tonight? Because we can so totally do that," Castle whispered as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

"I don't know, Rick, I seriously hadn't thought about it. I've spent the day contemplating about this meal I'm apparently making for my boyfriend and his family."

They stepped into the elevator and Castle pulled her close once the doors closed. "This boyfriend of yours, anyone I know?"

Kate leaned into his chest and shook her head. "No, just some novelist who's been using me for inspiration."

"Sounds like a great guy."

"Not really," Kate chuckled, "He's gets in the way a lot and is really annoying. But he does have some good points."

"And what might those be?"

"He brings me coffee whenever I need it."

Castle's laugh rumbled from her head's position on his chest and brought a smile to Kate's lips, her heart skipping a beat. His laugh was like the sun in her dark world. Though she'd never tell him that, she thought. _Lord knows what that would do to his ego_. Of course, she supposed that now, after everything they'd been through together, all it would do would make him smile that perfect smile that lit up his face, causing his blue eyes to brighten and sparkle. _With love_, she realized. That was the one element she hadn't always been able to place.

"And you're cooking him dinner tonight?" He asked once his laughter died out. "He must be pretty special."

Kate registered the last _ding!_ of the elevator before they reached the lobby and leaned up to place a quick peck on his lips. "Well he's kind of proven himself to me over and over again. I figured I should give him a shot. Stop running."

"You know I'd chase you to the ends of the earth, right?"

She smiled, her heart warm. "I do." He pressed a kiss to her forehead as the doors opened. She exited the lift before him and his hand found the small of her back. _This is right_, Kate found herself thinking. She'd heard the saying before, how a relationship could not only feel good, but right. _But I never understood just what that meant until now_. She looked up at Rick. "And I wouldn't stop running for anyone else."

Castle hummed contentedly and pressed another kiss to her temple before they parted to get into her car. "Say it again," he said once they were safely on their way home. _There's that damn word again_, Kate thought. _When did his home become my home? It's been one freaking day!_ But a traitorous thought responded: since he became home. And she knew it was right. It may have been one day since they dove into it together, but it was almost three years in the coming. And if Kate faced facts, he'd been home to her long before she even knew him.

Kate looked over to him and smiled. "I'm making dinner for my boyfriend and his family tonight."

"I will never tire of hearing you say that. Now, take us home."

"I'm never gonna live that down, am I."

"You're the one who brought it up, not me. But I'm glad you already realize what's been true for a while now. Me casa es su casa."

"Rick," she began.

"I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying that you should feel comfortable at the loft."

"Okay, I just—"

"Don't want to move too quickly, I get it. Don't worry, Kate. I've finally got you, the rest of it is up to you." And with that, Castle leaned back in his seat and put his hands behind his head. Kate shook her head.

"What am I making for dinner tonight?" She asked suddenly. Rick laughed, the sound of it reverberating through the car. Kate glared at him and he sobered instantly.

"Well what do you know how to make?"

"Have you seen my fridge?"  
"I have. It's kind of frightening, actually."

"You're not helping, Castle."

"Turn down the next street and we'll stop at the grocery store. We'll peruse and find something good."

"Peruse?"

"Just trying to lighten the mood, Kate. You get so tense when it comes to dinner and my family," he replied, a teasing smile on his face.

Kate sighed. She knew, logically, she was being ridiculous. But even though she knew she and Rick had been moving in this direction since the day they met, even though she knew that everyone who knew them was rooting for them, Kate still wanted Martha and Alexis's blessing. She wanted them to be family, too. She wanted herself to be included in their family. Kate stole a glance at Rick and found him watching her. As always. But he wasn't laughing, he wasn't judging, he was just watching. Like he knew what was going on in her mind and was content for her to figure it out herself. He had, after all, done everything he could to convince her she had nothing to worry about. Now it was up to her to figure it out. She smiled at him and he returned in kind.

"Fresh Market?" She asked when she saw the grocery store. Kate loved the fresh foods store, but hardly ever ventured in these days. Her mother had taken her to another one across the city throughout her childhood, but once she died, Kate never really wanted to go back. It was small and had more of a homey feel than normal grocery stores. She always felt she stepped into a larger version of her grandmother's walk-in pantry with its organic food and simple layout, only with escalated prices. "Castle, I was just thinking about picking up a box of pasta and a jar of tomato sauce. We don't need to go all out here."

"Just trust me with this, Kate. It'll be fun. Like an adventure."

Kate just shook her head, but acquiesced, pulling into a parking spot. "You and your adventures," she muttered. They entered the grocery store side by side, but when Castle made a move to leave her to her own devices, Kate gripped his arm in a vice-like grip. "Don't you dare," she said fiercely. "I don't care if you think I can do this on my own or if I'd think you were too annoying by hanging around. You're staying." She earned a smile from her partner, but he remained silent and by her side.

They wandered in and out of isles and between large box cartons filled with fruit, the perfect picture of a domestic couple. Ten minutes went by and still Kate couldn't figure out what to prepare for their night. And Rick was absolutely no help. "Alexis is a health nut and she's got Mother eating better, too," he'd said at one point. "That's why I brought you here. Everything is pretty much fair game. Even the noodles are healthy," he said, pulling out one box. "See? They're made from artichoke instead of wheat or whatever." Kate had shaken her head in incredulity but had kept the item for herself, thinking it would be neat to try out even if she didn't cook it for tonight. _Maybe another night,_ she thought with a twinge of excitement. That thought had been the only one to bring a smile to her face since she and Castle had stepped into Fresh Market. They were walking by the meat section when Kate saw it.

"No way," she whispered, breaking away from Castle and moving towards the glass case.

"Kate?" He asked when he reached her.

"My mother used to get us Chicken Paris every once in a while. It was difficult to find and she never could make it quite right when she couldn't. I'd completely forgotten about it." Kate looked over to him and saw a sweet smile playing on his lips, the edges of his eyes crinkling in a way that made her heart swoon.

"Get it," he whispered.

"No, Rick. I can't. This dinner is supposed to be—"

"Alexis absolutely loves Chicken Paris," he interrupted. "I can't imagine a more perfect dinner for the four of us." And with that, he left her, disappearing into the crowd and rows of food. Kate smiled after him. The man was insufferable.

Turning back to the man waiting for her behind the counter she ordered four Chicken Paris pastries, her mouth already watering for the chicken breast stuffed with feta cheese and wrapped in a delectable pastry. A couple minutes later she had her packages in hand. She placed them in the basket and went in search of her partner. Now she had only to decide on side items and maybe a dessert.

She found Castle browsing the dessert isle. "What are those?" She asked, pointing to the new items in his basket.

"Side items," he smiled, raising the basket so she could see the items better: Caesar salad, an assortment of frozen vegetables, and applesauce. Kate started laughing and held up her own basket for Castle to see. Then he started laughing, too. Aside from the applesauce, they'd picked out the same items.

"I like the applesauce, though," she said, pulling it out of his basket and depositing it in her own. "You can keep the rest." Then she stepped around him and promptly pulled out her favorite dessert.

"Cherry pie?" He asked.

"Yeah, is that a problem? I know not everybody loves cherry pie."

"No," he smiled, "I'm just thinking that you're probably going to have to set aside your own piece. The rest of it will be gone in a matter of minutes."

"Well in that case," Kate replied, sticking a second pie into her basket, "I'd also better get some ice cream. What do you recommend?"

Ten minutes later they were on the road again. After whining and begging that left Castle looking like a ten year old again, Kate finally won the right to pay for dinner.

"Fine, but I want to get dessert," he pouted, reaching for the pies and ice cream.

"Dessert is part of dinner, Castle," Kate argued.

"No it's not. It's after dinner. And sometimes you can even have dessert _for_ dinner."

"Which only serves to prove my point. Give me the ice cream back, Castle."

"I have to pay for something, Kate."

"No you don't. This is my treat, for you and your family." She held out her hands. He handed over the vanilla and chocolate cartons. "The Mint Chocolate Chip, too."

"But Kate—"

"Please let me do this, Rick?" She asked. They were nearing the front of the line. "Just let me do this this one time and then you can pay for the rest." She knew what she was saying, but at the moment she didn't care.

Castle's face blossomed into a triumphant grin. "Deal." Kate groaned inwardly. Apparently the moment had passed. What had she just done?

"You know, it's perfect," Castle said once they were on the way to his apartment. "Alexis has been asking for Chicken Paris for a couple weeks now, or Paris Chicken as she calls it. I just haven't remembered to stop and get it for her." He looked over at her. "She'll be so excited that you're making it for her."

"When will she be home?" Kate asked. _Damn, there's that word again._

Castle shrugged. "It's almost seven now. And it's a Thursday. With all her clubs and study groups she doesn't usually make it home until 7:30 or 8. When I called her earlier I told her to make sure she didn't get dinner in between. So it's perfect. It takes, what, thirty minutes in the oven? So it should be ready by the time she walks through the door."

Kate nodded. "And what about Martha?" But just then his cell phone rang.

"Speak of the devil," he grinned, answering the call. "Mother! We were just talking about you. No wait, Mother. Slow down. Yes, I understand. Well we're almost there. Yes, Mother. Give us about thirty minutes and then. Yes. Alright. See you then." He hung up, shaking his head. "You know, sometimes I don't know what to do with that woman."

"How's she doing since Chet's death?" Kate asked.

"She's sad, but I think she also feels guilty. She was about to break up with him, you know? And then he was gone. I think she wishes that her last memory of him, her last feelings for him, weren't tainted by the thoughts of goodbye or the intent of leaving him. I think that because they were she feels like she can't mourn him properly, like she doesn't deserve to. I don't know what to do about it."

"Well there's nothing you can do, Rick. Not really. I'm sure Martha will come to understand that she's allowed to miss him and that she doesn't have to feel guilty about it no matter what her intentions were. But she has to believe that, it's nothing you can tell her." When he remained silent, gazing out the window, Kate reached over and took his hand. "I can't promise much, but I can promise it will get better. And then," she gave his hand a squeeze, making her voice lighter, "She'll be happy and busy again and _not_ in your apartment." Castle looked over at her with a grateful smile and squeezed her hand back.

"I can't tell you how excited I am for that moment. Do you know that when she prepares for her larger roles she'll wake up at ungodly hours, rearrange the furniture to match the set, and practice in her great Martha flourish? No I'm serious. There's a reason we have rugs underneath everything now. The scrape marks she's left behind are atrocious."

Kate laughed at the scene he'd created in her mind. As dedicated as Martha was, she could believe it. "Now who's being dramatic?" She asked.

"Just you wait. She's got a new show coming up. I can assure you in the final week, things will move. And even with the rugs she still manages to create a ruckus. 'It's dedication to the art, darling,' she says."

"And they always seem to happen when I'm not waking you up at the crack of dawn to come to a murder scene, don't they?"

"Right? It's like they know." Kate gave a sideways glance to her partner. "Yes," he said, "I just quoted a ventriloquist's purple monkey."

"Hey, I love Jeff Dunham. There is no judgment here."

"Feed 'em," he said, holding out his fingers. Kate chuckled and fed the birds.

They reached his apartment complex not long after. Kate parked and they grabbed their bags and made their way to his apartment. As they stepped into the elevator, Kate was assaulted by the memory of their trip up the night before. _Was it really just last night?_ She smiled and a wink from Castle told her he was thinking about the same thing. _Damn bags_, she grumbled to herself, _Always in the _way. She bumped her hips against Castle as she left the elevator. He hastened to catch up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, his bags falling over her to bang against the ones she was already carrying.

"Castle!" She exclaimed but immediately broke into laughter as he peppered her neck with kisses. Apparently the bags didn't have to be in the way. The door opened seconds before they reached it.

"Ah! Finally. Come in dear, I'm starving. What's for dinner?" Martha ushered them in with a sweep of her arm. "Kate! Darling! How good to see you!" She exclaimed when she saw Kate. Rick took the bags from Kate's hands and Martha quickly pulled her into a hug.

"Hello, Martha," Kate greeted, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "I thought I'd make dinner for you all. I—Rick—we," she tried to explain, but was cut off when Martha pulled her in for another hug.

"Well it's about time, kiddo! Come! This calls for a celebration!" She led Kate into the kitchen and pulled out three wine glasses followed by a bottle of wine.

"Martha, no, please, this isn't necessary. Go sit, I'll make dinner real quick."

"Dinner! By heavens, Richard, why are you letting this woman cook us dinner?"

"It's Kate's way of asking for your blessing. Alexis' as well."

"Blessing? Darling, please," she turned to Kate, pouring wine in their glasses, "If you had any idea the number of discussions I've had with this man about you two. You have my blessing. And I'd be lying if I didn't say you had Alexis' blessing before my own. She has an eye about her, that one."

Kate blushed. "That's really sweet Martha, but I'd still like to do this if you'll let me."

"Well I know that I'd be hard pressed to stop you, just know that once you cook in this kitchen you are considered family. Now!" She exclaimed, raising her wine glass, "Drink up!"

Kate tipped her wine glass and caught Castle's eye over its rim. He raised his glass to her with a wink and sipped before turning back to the groceries. She smiled and followed suit and they fell into the easy rhythm of preparing dinner together, as if they'd been doing it for years. She caught Martha smiling at them a few times, the older woman content to just sit back and watch them together. Kate was glad she had her blessing, but she knew the greater test still lay ahead. She liked Alexis, but she wasn't sure how the younger girl felt about herself. She still called her Detective Beckett most of the time despite Kate's pleas for the teenager to use her first name. Rick was just putting the finishing touches on the dinner table when the front door opened.

"Wow, this smells delicious!" Came the young girls exclamation as she came into the kitchen. "Detective Beckett! I'm so glad you're here! Wait," Alexis took in the site of Kate pulling the chicken filled pastries out of the oven, "Did you make dinner? Oh my gosh, Paris Chicken! You made Paris Chicken!" Kate had just enough time to set the hot tray on the counter before the young girl crushed her in a hug. _Rick was right_, she thought, _This family is in love with hugs._ But she just wrapped her oven-mitted arms around Alexis. These hugs she could get used to. Alexis looked up at her. "Why did you make dinner? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here, but," she frowned, trying to think of the right way to phrase the end of her sentence. Kate cut her off with a laugh.

"No, it's fine, Alexis. I'm here cooking dinner because I have news. And I thought that it would be best received with food. My mom used to cook us Chicken Paris all the time before she died and your dad said it was a favorite so I decided to cook it for us tonight."

"News? Is it good news? Bad news?" She stole a quick look at her dad. "Did he do something bad again?"

Kate laughed at the affronted look on Rick's face. "How come you always assume it's something I did?" He asked.

"Because it usually is," Kate and Alexis replied together. They looked at each other in shock for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Martha had a smug look on her face while Rick just shook his head.

"Great," he muttered, "This is just what I need. My two ladies ganging up on me together."

"His ladies?" Alexis squealed, "You mean? You and Dad? Really!" Kate nodded, a smile growing on her face. She was starting to realize that the more time she spent around this family, the less time she would spend _not_ smiling. "Yes! Finally!" Alexis pulled Kate into a hug and then dragged her over to her dad where she hugged them both. Martha joined in soon after. "Oh this is so great," Alexis said from the middle. "But Detective Beckett—"

"Kate."

"Right. Kate. But Kate, why did you feel like you had to make dinner?"

"Well she was under the assumption she needed you blessing. I told her that we could threaten you two after the meal by saying it was poisoned and that Kate had the only antidote, but wouldn't give it to you unless you agreed to us seeing each other," Rick answered.

Kate nudged him in the ribs. "Right, because threatening your family is the best way to break news like this."

"You forget, Kate, that Dad is the kind of person who meets my dates with severed heads in his hands."

"Tried to. I tried to. You wouldn't let me. She made me put everything away and look like a normal dad," he appealed to Kate, "I had to hold a video camera and everything."

"I'm sure you managed just fine," she told him, moving back to the kitchen counter. "Shall we?" She asked.

And just like that, dinner commenced. The pleasantries and exclamations of good food were passed around, but it wasn't long before Kate found herself in awe at the ease in which she fit into their tight-knit family. Alexis talked about her day, complaining about the stupidity of some teenage girls and Kate found herself giving advice on how to handle it. Martha told me about her current play and seemed pleased when Kate asked questions about it. Kate made a mental note to ask Martha what drew her to acting in the first place. She and Rick told the two woman about their latest case, Rick immensely pleased that he was the one to discover Kaylan's occupation first. Alexis and Kate rolled their eyes together and laughed again.

"You're hardly together and already I can see I'm going to have to separate the two of you," Rick commented, his smile invalidating his remark.

"You can try, Dad," Alexis teased, "But just know that I have my ways of making sure it wouldn't last for very long."

"My own daughter threatens me with blackmail?"

"I may or may not have a few stories up my sleeves."

"Oh now these I have to hear," Kate said, leaning towards the girl. "And I may or may not have my own to add to your arsenal."

"I'm going to grow to regret this, aren't I?" Rick asked no one in particular.

"Don't worry, Rick, it'll be the best mistake you've ever made."

"I'm just glad Mother hasn't said added her own two cents to this."

"Richard there are some stories I could tell that should never see the light of day."

"Oh really?" Kate smiled, she and Alexis looking over to the older woman. "Are you sure _none_ of them can be told?"

"Who's ready for dessert?" Rick suddenly asked, pushing back from the table. "Kate got us cherry pie and ice cream."

"You are officially my favorite person," Alexis informed her, pushing her own chair back from the table. She started collecting the dishes, Martha following suit. At Kate's protestation, Martha shushed her.

"The rules are that if you make the dinner, you get to sit back and relax while everyone else does the dishes. So relax, enjoy your wine. Richard will be back with your pie soon."

Kate remained in her seat for a few moments, but soon felt like she needed to be doing something. She had a feeling she'd be shooed out of the kitchen if she tried to help, so instead she went to the family room. Rick's suggestion of a movie earlier suddenly sounded like a good idea. She knew it was a Thursday night, but maybe Alexis and Martha would sit with them. Kate was looking through Rick's collection when she felt his presence behind her. Or rather, she smelled the scent of cherries behind her.

"Hey," she smiled, turning to him.

"Hey," he responded, just taking her in. She smiled wider and ducked her head. The things his eyes could say. She took the plate from him and dipped her head closer to the slice of pie on the plate. He'd heated it up. "I brought a cold one just in case. And I didn't know what ice cream you wanted."

"No, I love it just like this. Thank you. I'll get ice cream later."

"Did you pick out a movie?" They turned back to his expansive movie case.

"I think it would take me hours just to look at all the movies you have. Did you have one in mind?"

"Oo! Are we watching a movie?" Alexis asked, coming up beside them.

"Yes. What do you want to watch?"

"I, well…what did you two want to watch?"

"You know this selection better than I do, sweetie. What do you want to watch?" Kate asked.

"Well Dad and I have been talking about a doing Lord of the Rings marathon. We have the extended editions. Maybe we can watch Fellowship tonight and then the Two Towers and Return of the King this weekend? Are you going to be here this weekend?"

Kate smiled. "For Lord of the Rings? I will absolutely be here this weekend." Rick squeezed her shoulder in thanks and she leaned into him. There was no need to thank her. She loved The Lord of the Rings.

"So it's settled then," he proclaimed. "I'll go get the popcorn!"

"Rick," Kate tried to call after him.

"It's no use, kiddo. Richard never watches a movie without popcorn," Martha said, settling into the couch. Alexis nodded, falling into the couch. Kate popped in the movie before sitting beside her, leaving Rick a spot beside his daughter, Alexis in the middle. A few minutes later, smells of popcorn wafted from the kitchen.

"Dad! It's starting!" Alexis called as she pressed the play button on the remote. "Trust me," she told Kate before she could ask, "You don't want Dad here for the start of it. Hearing him trying to quote Galadriel in Elvish is not something you want to sit through."

"I heard that," Rick said behind them. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to their heads before taking his seat beside his daughter. He smiled at Kate over Alexis' head and she smiled back. No words were needed, but that didn't stop him from reaching over and running his fingers over her shoulder. She reached up and intertwined their fingers on the back of the couch.

Martha was the first to leave, after the first disc ended, saying she needed to good night's rest for her big day tomorrow. The three of them spent the rest of the night quoting the movie to each other and laughing at their favorite parts. When Alexis drifted to sleep, her head in Rick's lap and feet in Kate's, they decided to pause the movie and move her to bed. Deciding not to wake her, Rick just picked his daughter up and carried her to her room. "I'll be right back," he whispered. Kate found a blanket while he was gone and wrapped it around them when he returned. They watched the rest of the movie nestled in each other's arms, carrying on like they did with the rest of his family, quoting, laughing, and sharing insights they'd learned from the special features discs, which inevitably lead to other topics and conversations. They spoke softly, the words spoken being ones only they needed to know. The movie soon forgotten, they didn't realize when the credits started rolling, only the sudden silence bringing them back to reality.

"Will you stay?" He asked quietly.

"If you'll have me," she said after a moment.

He pulled her close. "Good, because Alexis wants waffles for breakfast and I'd really like your help."

She smiled into his chest. "Then I'll stay." Maybe waffles were a better start to the day than heart surgery, Kate thought sleepily. Sure, one saved a life, but with the other you got to engage in life. And there wasn't another person's life she'd rather engage in than Richard Castle's.

* * *

_So I'm just gonna stop apologizing for the lack of update. Apparently life does not revolve around Castle as it should, no matter how many times I argue against that point. Ah well. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! And I hope I haven't lost anybody in my absence...that would be sad._

_I also wanted to send a special shout out to my darling friend whisperdfantasy. Thank you so much for your help on this chapter my dear! Had you not helped, this chapter would not be up right now._

_I hope I did Alexis and Martha justice : ) They were fun to write. Anyway, reviews are always welcome. And can I just talk about them for a second? You guys overwhelm me each and every time. I love you all so very much. Seriously. 45 reviews so far and this is my first attempt at a fanfiction. And you guys keep em coming for my other one shots, too. I just...wow. I love you all. Thank you. You keep me writing. xoxo, Aubrey_


	14. Chapter 14

**Standard disclaimers apply. I just like to have fun : ) Oh and there's a little French in this chapter. Just a sentence. I know some people don't like foreign languages in their fics, so I'll just let you know it means "That's life, Dad."**

_Last time on Torrent: Castle and Beckett found out the Jessie's alibi checks out before they left for their dinner date with Alexis and Martha. Kate and Rick stopped of at Fresh Market to pick up Kate's favorite dinner for her childhood: Chicken Paris, which also happens to be Alexis' favorite dinner. She and Rick get the side items and then travel back to his loft where they begin preparations, Martha congratulating them on their changed relationship status. Alexis comes home and they all sit down to dinner together before reconvening to the living room where they sit down to watch the Lord of the Rings. Alexis makes Kate promise to have a marathon with them that weekend to watch the rest. They all settle down, to a happy night and Kate decides to stay over again._

Chapter 14.

She was in a field of flowers. Yellow daisies, red roses, purple wildflowers, dandelions, and others she couldn't name. Part of her mind told her these flowers don't grow together, but she soon dismissed the thought. It didn't matter anyway, they were too pretty to tell them they were wrong. His arms encircled her from behind and she leaned back into his embrace.

"They're beautiful," she whispered. He murmured his agreement and kissed her temple.

"They aren't the only thing." She elbowed him in the ribs. "What?" He asked. "Have you seen the clouds? They're making funny pictures." She elbowed him again but looked up. He was right. She could make out mysterious shapes. A heart? Was that a face?

"I don't think I would call those beautiful, Rick," she said.

"I wasn't. I said you were beautiful. The clouds are just funny. I don't think the man in the clouds is happy." She had to agree with him there. He was glaring at something. Kate turned her attention back to the flowers. They were nicer to look at.

Rick tightened his embrace around her. "It's time to get up," he whispered.

"I want to stay here with you," she responded, turning to face him.

"You'll still have me when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Always." His embrace tightened on her again, constricting her breathing. She pushed against him, but he only tightened his grip on her more.

"Rick, I can't breathe. Rick!"

Kate's eyes popped open. Rick's hold on her was still getting tighter. She tilted her head up from its position on his chest. His very naked chest. But all thoughts of their adventures last night left her mind as she took in his distressed expression. Kate sat up, pulling herself out of his grasp, and started shaking his shoulder.

"Rick, wake up," she called. No response. She patted his chest, his face. "Rick, wake up! Castle!"

"No, come back," he murmured, reaching for her again. "Don't leave me. You can't leave me."

"Rick, I'm here. Wake up. I'm right here." She shook his shoulders again. "Castle! Wake up!"

His eyes popped open and he took the sight of her in. "Kate?"

"Hey."

"You're alright?" He sat up next to her, cupped her face in his hands. She covered his with her own.

"I'm fine. What happened?"

He considered her for a moment, then sighed. He rubbed his face then ran his fingers through his hair. "I couldn't save you. We were back in the basement and I didn't jump fast enough. And then we were at the scene from this morning and it was you on the ground, and then Alexis. And then you again. I couldn't save you."

Kate pulled him into her arms. "But you did save me, Rick. And you'd save Alexis." He held onto her, a part of him still in the nightmare. Then something clicked in her. "This has happened before, hasn't it?" She asked softly. "Those days you come in early, they're after nights when you've had nightmares."

He sat back and gave her a sheepish grin. "It's sad, isn't it? I write this for a living." He shrugged and reached out, tracing his fingers down her jawline. "But seeing you each morning makes everything better. Though I have to admit, I like this system we've got going on much better." He pulled her into him. "It makes going back to sleep much easier."

"It's not sad, Rick," she murmured. "After my mom died, it seemed like the only dreams I had were nightmares." She trailed off, thinking about the therapy and medication she had to go on to get them to go away. "It's not sad," she repeated, "But I am sorry I brought this on you."

He tipped her face up to look into her eyes. "I'm not. They're just dreams, Kate, of a fear we both have to live with. But I don't regret any part of the path that led me here. And if anything, they prepare me for acting quicker when your life actually is in danger."

"You shouldn't have to worry about that, though."

"Too bad. I'm your partner. In every way. Like it or not, I'm going to worry. And I'm going to take care of you." He placed a kiss on her forehead. She smiled, leaned up, and gave him a proper kiss.

"You have to stop doing that," she said.

"Doing what?"

"Taking the focus off you. This is the part where I get to take care of you, not the other way around."

"Then promise me one thing." She nodded. "Promise me you'll be here in the morning."

"I think that's a promise I can make," Kate smiled.

"Good, because I love waking up to you."

"Even with the bedhead and morning breath?"

"Especially with the bedhead and morning breath."

Kate smiled. "Well can you brush your teeth next time? Your morning breath isn't something to be desired." She scrunched up her face for effect.

"You wound me, Detective," he said, placing a hand to his heart.

"You want a good morning kiss? You brush your teeth." She smiled up at him, a glint in her eyes. Rick laughed.

"Ridiculous woman."

"Do you think you could go back to sleep?" Kate asked, glancing at the clock. "We can still squeeze out a few more hours before we have to get up."

Rick rolled them over so he was suddenly on top of her. "I can think of something better than sleep," he said, wagging his eyebrows.

Kate raised her eyebrow, trying desperately to ignore the sudden heat rushing through her body. "Don't you think we've ignored sleep enough for one night?"

"What? Are you not up to round two?" Kate raised her eyebrow again. "Round three?" He amended. "Afraid you can't keep up?"

Kate pressed her body up into his, causing Rick to inhale sharply. "It's not me I'm worried about, lover boy," she whispered. Then she quickly flipped them over again and straddled him, doing her best to ignore the hardness pressing against her. She bit back a groan and instead said, somewhat breathlessly and thus losing any validity to her argument, "But you woke me up from a really good dream I'd rather get back to."

Rick's eyes told her he didn't believe a word of it. But she refused to let it go. Playing with him was just too much fun. He rested his hands on her hips, kneading them gently. She closed her eyes, pulling her bottom lip through her teeth. "You said you wanted to take care of me right?" He asked, teasing. "Do you know what would help me sleep?" She heard the smile on his lips rather than seeing it for herself. She still refused to open her eyes. _The things he does to me. You'd think after three years of sexual innuendo I'd be immune to it by now._ But a sudden shock ran through her, causing her eyes to pop open, as his hands made their way from her hips, up her body, and to her face. The thrill of it sent shivers through her body. _And all he did was trail his damn hands up my body._ He gently pulled her down to him. She gave him a teasing smile before capturing his mouth with her own. His moan tumbled into her mouth and she couldn't hold back her answer this time. But he took it slow, his mouth working hers in a steady pace, his tongue slipping in and out, caressing. He built the fire of passion between them until it was roaring, his hands exploring her body, finding new places to give her pleasure. He flipped them over again and his mouth worked his way down her body. She buried her hands in his hair, whimpering when his tongue began tracing patterns over her skin. This was a new kind of lovemaking, the still coherent part of her realized. He was loving her body, reverently, taking pleasure in it. This was intimate. This wasn't fantasy played out, this wasn't sex. This was making love. She smiled and pulled his mouth back to hers. No longer in a rush, the two of them worked steadily into oblivion, basking in the new way they could show their love.

Later, still coming down from the high, Rick sighed contentedly as he wrapped himself around her. Kate hummed in contentment. _This was right_, she thought.

"I lied," she told him just before sleep took them under. "I like your morning breath."

"And my bedhead?" He asked, his hand stroking her stomach.

She laced his fingers with hers and pressed back further into his chest. "It's the second best part of my morning."

"And what's the first?"

"Waffles."

He chuckled and kissed the back of her head. "Until tomorrow, Kate."

"Until tomorrow, Rick."

* * *

Sunlight pulled him from his dream. A much better dream, where he and Kate lived happily ever after. Or at least that's what he imagined would happen. As was customary with dreams, it hadn't finished. He noted the time and quietly slipped out of bed so he didn't disturb his partner. Rick smiled as he dressed. All this was still so fresh, so incredible, it made Rick wonder if he was still in a dream. He ran a finger down her cheek before leaving the room, a smile on his face. No matter how many mornings like this lay ahead of them, he knew he would never get to used to the feeling of waking up beside her.

"Good morning, Father." Alexis said as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Daughter. How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Thanks for carrying me last night. You didn't have to." She smiled apologetically.

Castle walked over and enveloped his daughter in a hug. "You were too cute to wake up," he joked, poking her sides and stomach, causing Alexis to erupt in a fit of laughter. "How could I disturb such perfection?"

"Dad!" Alexis squealed. But he scooted her across the floor to a barstool and planted her on it.

"Still want waffles for breakfast?" He asked innocently.

Alexis nodded. "Did Kate stay? Will she help make the waffles?"

Castle nodded, smiling. "Still sleeping. I thought I'd let her get a few more minutes sleep. It's been a rough few days for her."

"Didn't she want to help with breakfast?"

"She will. Her alarm will go off in a few minutes."

"And you woke up before her?"

"I know, right?" Castle pulled out their waffle-making ingredients from the pantry and fridge. "Do you want juice or milk this morning?"

"Orange juice," she answered after contemplating for a few minutes.

"Orange juice it is!" Castle exclaimed, pulling out the glass container. He poured it into a glass and handed it to her. "What's on the docket for school today?"

"French test." Alexis scrunched up her nose.

"On a Friday? Don't they know you don't test kids on a Friday?"

"Mondays are worse."

"I can't imagine Tuesdays being much better."

"Or Wednesdays."

"Or Thursdays!"

"I think we can effectively say that there are no good testing days," Alexis said wryly. "Although I still think Mondays are the worst days."

"I could sue the school for unjust testing if you wanted. Make them ban examinations altogether," Castle offered, a smile on his face. He began mixing the batter and milk together.

"Thanks, Dad, but that would defeat the purpose of school."

"Which would be?" He asked, handing the bowl of batter over to Alexis before turning on the coffee machine.

"Learning and retaining information."

"Knowledge is overrated. Wisdom is where it's at."

"Which you can't get without knowledge."

This time Castle scrunched up his nose. "You know what? I think it's much to early for this conversation. My brain hurts." He made to dip his fingers in the now finished batter, but Alexis swatted his hand away.

"And don't pout," she chided. "You could get sick from that stuff."

"Yes, Mom."

Alexis giggled. "C'est la vie, mon pére."

Castle shook his head and turned away from his daughter, muttering something about her not needing to worry about doing well on her French exam. Instead, he focused on preparing Kate's coffee just the way she liked it. He was just finishing it up when he heard her alarm go off. With a wink to Alexis, he set off to his bedroom, steaming mug in hand. She was just reaching over to turn the alarm off when he reached her.

"Good morning," he whispered, handing her the coffee mug. She smiled in appreciation and breathed it in.

"Mmmm, a good morning indeed."

"It's about to get better. Ready for waffles?"

Kate smiled up at him, excitement pushing away the sleep in her eyes. She quickly dressed, pushing his hands away when he tried to "help,"knowing that could only end in disaster, and followed him into the kitchen, where she was nearly bowled over by whirlwind of red hair and arms. "Good morning, Alexis," she laughed as she hugged the younger girl back.

The teenager smiled up at her sheepishly. "Hi, I'm just really glad you stayed."

"Well your dad mentioned waffles so I couldn't just leave." She looked over to the counter to see the mixed batter and various ingredients already pulled out. "Though it seems that sleeping until your alarm clock is disadvantageous in this household."

"Don't blame Dad. He was just pulling things out as the coffee machine started up. I mixed the batter. But! Don't worry because we never have just waffles," Alexis explained as she led Kate to the bar.

"Of course not!" Castle exclaimed. "We've got fruit and eggs to make as well. And we've got to heat up the maple syrup. So there's plenty for you to do."

"Now I understand why you're always on me about my diet. You guys don't have just meals here, do you."

"You only say that because your meals consist of Skittles and coffee."

"Excuse me, I'll have you know my fridge is fully stocked at home."

"Right. With left over containers, some of which I'm sure have things growing on them by now."

"Which is why I have you, Castle. You bring me food to eat."

"Um, I think you just proved my point," Castle said, somewhat dumbfounded at actually winning one of their arguments.

"This one doesn't count," Kate replied quickly. "I've hardly had my coffee yet."

But Castle grinned all the same. "I think I'm rubbing off on you."

"Shut up, Castle, and hand me some fruit to dice up."

"It's a surprise you two actually like each other sometimes," Alexis interjected as she churned the batter. "Have you guys given any thought as to how you're going to do the big reveal?"

Castle looked at Kate and raised his eyebrows. "I have several ideas, though I don't think you'd particularly like any of them."

"That's because they all involve me doing something with you while at the precinct," she replied. _Damn,_ he thought,_ sometimes she does that far too well_. "What about telling them when we go to the Old Haunt once the case is finished?"

"But that's so boring! We can't just come out and say it! They're all expecting us to do that!" Castle exclaimed, all too aware he was whining.

"What about doing something in the middle?" Alexis suggested, shifting the bowl into her fathers hands so he could pour the batter onto the waffle machine.

"Something big," Kate murmured.

"But intimate," Castle finished, catching her eyes. Kate quickly looked away and focused on her chopping. _Day three, this is only day three_, Castle reminded himself._ Stop thinking about white dresses and bouquets and little kids running around. Damn it! This has got to stop._ "Yeah, that's a great idea, sweetie. We'll figure it out."

"Fruit's ready," Kate stated after a few more minutes. A few moments later, Castle set out the first waffle.

"Looks like we're ready for the eggs," Castle said. "Pumpkin?"

"On it. Kate, can you get the eggs and butter for me?" She asked as she turned to the stove and collected the no-stick spray and pan she needed. Kate immediately went to work, shooting Alexis an appreciative smile, no doubt glad to be put to work and included in their daily routine. Castle focused on making the waffles and just listened as Kate and his daughter fell into an easy conversation. Alexis soon mentioned she had a French test later that day and Kate began quizzing her, engaging her in a simple conversation in French. Castle was only mildly surprised she seemed fluent in the language. There was really nothing this woman could do. _Always a mystery,_ he thought.

The rest of the morning seemed to pass in a whirlwind, with Alexis soon rushing out the door to make it to school and Kate following afterwards in order to get a new change of clothes before heading to work.

"Seems like I missed quite a morning," Martha announced as she entered the kitchen. Castle set a plate before her and loaded it with the remaining waffle, scrambled eggs, and her favorite fruit.

"Kate stayed to help us make waffles," Castle explained, unable to keep the grin off his face.

"You know, for a woman so hesitant to enter into this life, she seems to be adjusting quite well."

"Well, Kate is the kind of woman who, once she decides to do something, does it with her whole heart. I knew the biggest obstacle wouldn't be just winning her heart, but convincing her to act on it. Although, I'm starting to wonder after last night and this morning, if part of her decision was because of you and Alexis. She really loves you guys, too." Castle smiled at his mother. "I want to thank you for welcoming her as you did last night."

"Oh darling, please. You know I've believed Kate as one of our family for quite some time now. You just make sure you do nothing to wreck that heart of hers."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Mother."

"Good, because you know Alexis would never forgive you for that."

"And you, Mother?"

"Well you know that Kate would have to win one of us in the settlement," she replied with a teasing smile. Martha reached over and patted his cheek and they both laughed quietly. But her warning wasn't lost on Castle. Kate truly was part of their family, if not legally just yet. The bonds were there. And that was enough. Castle smiled down at his mother, the woman who was perhaps his greatest advocate aside from his daughter. The woman who had always been pushing him in Kate's direction.

"You know I love her, right?" He asked.

"Yes, Richard, I know. She's the sort of person you can't help but love."

"Yeah, you play for keeps with this one," he said wistfully. Then he frowned. Huh. There was something about that. He could feel his mind beginning to make connections with their case when his cellphone rang, jarring him from his thoughts. He set the dishes beside the sink and reached for his phone. "Castle," he answered.

"Ryan and Esposito ran down Kaylan's best friend, Candice Johnson. They're bringing her to the station now," Kate relayed, the detective returned. Castle smiled. There wasn't one side of Katherine Beckett that he didn't love. He shook his head. Apparently he was in a sappy mood this morning. "Castle?" Kate's voice drew him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be right there." He hung up and rushed to change and get ready for the day. "Have a good day, Mother," he called as he grabbed his keys and headed towards the door.

"You too darling, but please try not to look too excited about your murder cases," she called after him. Castle grinned. Murder was never good in his book, especially in Kaylan's case, but murder that brought him to Kate Beckett would always make him excited. _Yep, definitely a sap today,_ he thought as he left the elevator. He let the memory of Kaylan's case wash over him as he hailed a taxi. It dropped him off at the coffee shop a couple blocks away from the precinct and he went in and picked up his standard order, leaving off the bear claw. The thought trail he'd been on began nagging at him and he review the case in his mind. There was something he was missing. Hopefully this Candice Johnson would be able to shed light on it.

"Please, call me Candy," the young girl told him and his partner as they sat down in the interrogation room. "If we're going to be talking about…well you might as well call me Candy. Everyone does."

Castle allowed himself to survey the girl as Kate proceeded with the interview. She was distraught, that was for sure. Candy Johnson was a 20 year old girl, like Kahlan, but that was where their similarities ended. Candy had strawberry blonde hair and was a stout girl, as opposed to Kaylan's brown locks and slender build. But as she talked, Castle noticed Candy's eyes were of a similar blue to what Kaylan's would have been, though slightly darker. He also noticed that as she talked, her character showed through. He may not have been trained in detecting someone's personality, but he could tell that Candy was a good girl. Of course, this was also why he wasn't a cop. He remembered Kate telling him once that it was a job description for everyone to look like a killer to her. He had to remember to keep his mind open.

"I knew I shouldn't have let her go home without pushing her farther, but Kaylan could be so secretive sometimes, you know?" Candy was saying. "She and I would spend a lot of nights up in the hayloft of the main barn, just gazing at the sky through the skylights and talking about our futures. We shared most everything to each other, but there were things she wouldn't tell me. I think she wanted to protect me. She said I didn't need to know, but if that ever changed I would be the first she told." Candy shrugged. "She was my best friend. I guess whatever it was caught up with her."

"Do you think it had anything to do with Bent Tree?" Kate asked quietly.

Candy shook her head. "No, we would talk about that. Every place you work has its quirks, right? Things you would want to change? No, I think it had something to do with her boyfriend. There were mornings she'd come to work and have bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept all night. You could always tell when she and Ian were fighting because she'd be really short with everyone and spend all her free time with the horses, grooming them, working with them, watching them out in the fields. Just a couple days ago I found her with the foals. She only went to them when it was really bad."

"So Ian has a temper?" Castle piped in.

"Well they butted heads a lot. Much too alike for their own good. But he loved her. I don't know that he would do something like that." Candy's eyes got really big. "Oh my God, do you think Ian killed her?"

"We don't have any conclusions yet, Candy, but we do need to talk to him. What's his last name?" Kate asked.

"Thomas. Ian Thomas." Candy gave them the rest of his information.

"Thank you. And Candy, I have to ask, just so we can cross you off our list, but where were you around 2 AM on the night of the murder?"

Candy nodded. "I understand. I was helping one of our mares give birth. It's an amazing process, with its gross points, and I love doing it, but unfortunately mares never seem to deliver at convenient times during the day." Candy paused, thinking. "I don't remember the time exactly, but it was sometime around 2 I think. I know! We video the mares about to drop so we can watch over them from the house instead of staying in the barn at all hours of the night, so you can double check the time for your records that way. Does that help?"

"Very much so. Thank you, Candy. We'll let you know how the investigation goes, alright?"

Castle and Beckett parted ways with the girl and made their way back to Kate's desk. She went to take a sip from what remained of the coffee Castle brought her and made a face. "This stuff never seems to stay warm when you leave it." She looked over at him. "So where were you the first half of that interview?"

"I was keeping you on your toes. Glad to see you can detect two different things at once." She raised her eyebrow. "Okay fine. I was observing her, trying to see if she was our killer or not. Comparing and contrasting to our vic."

Kate nodded. "And what did you find?"

"That they are as different as they come to one another, but best friends nonetheless. As for her being our killer, I'm inclined to say no, but I am also trying to follow your advice and keep an open mind."

She gave him a smile of approval that warmed his heart. "I agree, but we'll keep her there until her alibi checks out. Ryan!" She called over to the boys. "Run down Candy's alibi and see if it checks out. Then bring in Ian Thomas. I want to know what they were arguing about the day before she died."

"On it," they replied as they left the bull pen.

"So," Kate said as she turned back to her partner, "Candy Johnson is a groom and handyman for Bent Tree. She and Kaylan started out there around the same time. It turns out Kaylan started as a groom, too, but she quickly moved on to exercise riding and then went for her full blown jockey's license, which we know she got not too long ago. Meanwhile, Candy's been working as Kaylan's groom when they go to races. Kaylan rides and Candy takes care of the horses."

"You also said she was a handyman?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, she helps out with little odd jobs around the farm, too. But what Candy really loves to do is work with the broodmares and foals. You know the dreams she and Kaylan always discussed up in the hayloft? While Kaylan said she wanted to be a trainer one day, Candy said she wants to own her own breeding stable. She and Kaylan decided that one day they'd get their own place together with Kaylan running the racing side and Candy running the breeding aspect."

"Sounds like the perfect life for those two."

"Yeah it's too bad it was cut short."

They both turned to look at the murder board and something hit Castle as he surveyed the timeline. "What was it Candy said about wishing she hadn't let Kaylan go home that night?"

"Apparently Kaylan had been acting really strange that day."

"It was the same day as her argument with Townsend."

"Exactly. And judging by what Kaylan said to Candy about her not needing to know yet, I don't think she was acting odd because of an argument with her boyfriend."

"So do you think it was just nerves from the argument or something different?"

"Like a threat from Jessie?"

"Or even Anders."

"Her trainer? He has an alibi, remember. He was at his regular bar until half past 3."

Castle slumped back in his chair. "We need to talk to Ian."

Kate sighed. "Yeah."

* * *

"Well that was a colossal waste of time," Kate said as she fell back into her seat. Ian Thomas was definitely not their killer.

"The boy folded like a leaf!" Castle exclaimed as he sat down beside her. "He didn't even try to hide a thing!"

"Castle. That's a good thing."

"Well yeah, but it's boring!"

"Just go play Angry Birds while I fill in the timeline." Castle grinned at her as she uncapped the marker. She shook her head and refused to make eye contact, and instead poured over what they'd just learned from their victim's boyfriend.

Ian Thomas may have constantly butted heads with his dead girlfriend, but Kate had soon learned that it was mostly because the two of them had been on different levels in their relationship. Ian wanted Kaylan to move in, but Kaylan had refused because Ian lived farther away from Bent Tree than she did. She didn't want to get up any earlier in the morning if she could help it. There was also the fact that Ian had wanted Kaylan to take the job at Breaking Meadows. She and Rick –_Castle_— had soon learned that this was the fight Kaylan had kept from Candy. Apparently Ian didn't trust Colin Anders, said the trainer had anger management issues. Ian believed that Kaylan had a brighter future at Breaking Meadows, but she'd refused to take the job. Kaylan was a good girl; she didn't want to leave Bent Tree in the manner offered to her. Ian said that he believed that Kaylan would have taken the job eventually, she was just waiting for the right time.

Kate capped the marker and looked down at the clock. "Come on, Castle. We've got a date with a trainer. Let's go talk to Michael Westland and see if we can't figure out why Townsend was so quick to go talk to him the other day."

* * *

_So I know I technically forgot to ask Colin Anders for his alibi back in chapter 12 or whatever, but that was my rookie mistake. I couldn't let Kate take the fall for that one, so let's pretend like I didn't forget, okay?_

_Anyway, I know this chapter is a long time in coming. I've been slowly writing over that last few weeks during my crazy time-consuming assignment writing and test taking time her at uni. But! The good news is that's finally over and I am free to write as I please. That is, until the 25__th__ when I begin an amazing 10 day tour of New Zealand with my mom before I head home. Then I won't be writing, but before and after I am all yours. I've already started on chapter 15!_

_Anyway, pretty please review and tell me what you think. I'm not entirely sure about the dream, but it kind of just happened so I went with it. Oh and the angry face in the clouds? I didn't make that up. I was driving with a friend back from our horse lesson and we noticed that the clouds formed an angry face. Swear to God. I have the pictures to prove it._

_Anyway, I know I've most likely lost a lot of my readers since I've been gone for so long, but reviews are love and like drugs. I kind of crave them. What can I say? They take me to my happy place. Xoxo Aubrey_


	15. Chapter 15

**Standard disclaimers apply. If I owned Castle it wouldn't be half the show we know and love. I just like to dabble : )**

Chapter 15.

"Mr. Westland, thank you for making time out to see us," Kate said as she approached the man.

Michael Westland grinned at her, catching the slight sarcasm in her tone. "I apologize for making you drive all the way back out here, Detective. It's difficult to find time to leave a busy stable during the workday. Please, follow me, we can sit in the break room where you talked to Jessie yesterday."

Westland closed the door behind them and took a seat opposite Kate and Castle. "Mr. Westland, I understand Mr. Townsend offered Kaylan a position here as one of his jockeys." He nodded. "How did you feel about that?"

He shifted in his seat and uncertainty flashed through his eyes. Beside her, Kate felt Castle sit forward in his seat, catching the uneasiness of the man. "Well Kaylan showed real promise as a jockey, so I of course supported Mr. Townsend in his decision to try and win her over."

"You weren't at all unhappy that he was going to promote Kaylan over Jessie? A jockey you've been working with for years?" Castle asked.

"I work with other jockeys besides Jessie now, so of course I didn't mind."

"But Kaylan wouldn't have just been another jockey, Mr. Westland," Kate interjected. "She would have been the new star of Breaking Meadows, with plans of becoming a top notch trainer. Mr. Townsend promised her a career at Breaking Meadows. She could have taken your job. You're going to tell me that you honestly didn't mind?"

"No, of course I didn't mind!" He exclaimed. "Look, so long as she—" But he cut himself off.

"So long as she what, Mr. Westland?" Kate asked, leaning forward in her seat.

Westland let out a long sigh and sat back in his chair, suddenly looking defeated. "Look, about two weeks ago, Jessie accuses Kaylan of messing up her career, right?" Kate nodded. Both she and Castle had already heard this from Jessie herself. "And I heard that she wanted to move on to being a trainer. You have to understand, this girl was some sort of prodigy with horses. Anything she did she not only achieved, but broke records. The girl was amazing. I knew that if she ever became a trainer, I would be thrown out of the spotlight just like Jessie. And she and I had been the best until Kaylan came along. So Jessie and I hatch a plan, right? To discredit Kaylan in some way so that she would be ruined. We decided that since she kind of blew onto the scene and became this hot sensation who couldn't lose a race, that she should be framed for using performance enhancers on her rides. That way it was like she wasn't some hot shot jockey, just another low life who cheated to win."

"So then what happened, Mr. Westland? Did Kaylan catch you, come at you or threaten you in some way, so you killed her?" Kate asked.

"What? No! I didn't kill the girl. I told you, all this was two weeks ago. We didn't even get a chance to carry out the plan anyway. Mr. Townsend found out about it and put an end to it. It wasn't long after that that he seriously started looking at the girl as an investment. Next thing I know he's offering her a place at Breaking Meadows." Westland shook his head. "It was an in the moment thing. We horse folk aren't always the best of people and we may take shortcuts and cheat to get what we want, but the people here aren't killers. Not physical, heart stops beating killers anyway." He looked between Kate and Castle for a beat before continuing on. "Look, I'm not proud of what I was willing to do to keep my career. But so long as she never found out or mentioned it, I wasn't going to begrudge her a place her. Like I said, she was one hell of a horsewoman. I would have been proud to have her on my team."

Kate nodded, still trying to wrap her mind around what Westland had just told them. She was going to hear all about this on the car ride back. Murder, mayhem, and conspiracy, all put together and on the backdrop of the horse racing industry. Kate was surprised Castle wasn't calling dibs on the story. Of course, he would most likely give it more twists and turns. "Mr. Westland, I do need to ask you one last question. Where were you between 1 and 3 on the night of the murder?"

"I was home asleep," he answered.

"Is there anyone who could corroborate that?" Castle asked.

"No. I live alone. But I came home from getting take out for dinner at around 8 o'clock and didn't leave again until the next morning at 4:30 for work."

"Alright, thank you Mr. Westland. We'll be in touch." Kate made the mental note of checking to see if his building had security cameras.

"There's only one thing that's bothering me about all this," Castle commented later that afternoon.

"Really, just one?" Kate asked, not bothering to glance over from their surveillance of the murder board. He was right, though, something was missing.

"Yeah, bro, the murder isn't enough for you?" Esposito chimed in.

"Well obviously the murder is atrocious. But then again we wouldn't have jobs, so I'm not quite sure which part is more bothersome. But that's not my point. My point is that everyone but Anders seems to be getting a good night's sleep the night Kaylan was killed. Jessie is in bed, as is Townsend and Westland. Candy would be, but there's a mare giving birth so she's occupied. But Anders is sitting at a bar, getting drunk, only a couple hours before he has to report for duty. Does that make sense to anybody? I mean, even you make sure you get more than a couple hours of sleep before you come to work," Castle finished, turning to Kate. She just stared back at him. _Have we forgotten about our little game?_ She asked him silently. Then she noticed the glint in his eyes.

"Oh does she, now?" Esposito quickly picked up. "And just how exactly would you know Beckett's sleeping habits?"

"You forget that she stayed with me for a couple weeks when her apartment blew up, Esposito."

"Still, bro, sleeping habits change. She's living in a new place, has had a boyfriend since you played house with her. Who knows how many hours she gets per night now."

"_She_ is also standing right here and can speak for herself. And I can assure you that while my sleeping habits may or may not have changed, I do make sure to get at least a couple hours of shut eyes a night. Thank you, gentlemen for your concern. Now, Espo go run down Anders' alibi and make sure that it's dead locked. I want to make sure people are remembering that specific night, not just saying he was there because he always is. The manager was unavailable yesterday, so go see if he's there again. Castle's right," she said, turning back to the board. "There's something missing."

Esposito was just walking away when Castle turned to her, his eyes still laughing. "May or may not have changed? My dear Detective, please, do tell." She noticed Esposito had slowed, pausing by his and Ryan's desk. He nudged Ryan from running the surveillance tapes from Westland's apartment. The show was on.

"Well you know how it is, Castle. New apartment, new _bed _and everything, it sometimes makes it hard to sleep well enough that you dream. It seems like there's something always waking me up."

"Ah, I understand completely, Beckett," Castle said consolingly, "New sounds around you, wishing you had someone there with you—"

"Get your head out of the clouds, Castle, and back into the real world. I sleep just fine on my own."

"Are you sure? I'm an excellent cuddler."

"I'll be sure to let you know if my pillow needs any comfort then."

"So long as you come attached with it, it's a deal."

"Sure, Castle. But just so you know, I sleep with a gun."

He smirked. "Well, then what if I find I can't sleep on my own?"

"They have numbers you can call for that one." Kate noticed Ryan and Esposito's heads were following them like a volley on a tennis court. She didn't understand why exactly, this was just like their regular banter, though granted perhaps a step up from what it would have been a few days ago. They had to play them somehow. But what they needed was a game changer for this bout, something to leave the boys' mouths open before Kate sent them off. Rick needed to give her something to play with.

"And if I want to call yours?" He asked.

Now it was Kate's turn to smirk. Perfect. "Feel free, Castle." His eyes opened just a little. Out of the corner of her eyes, Kate could see that the boys had frozen, their eyes bugging out. "You'd find that there's this thing I really, really enjoy doing," she continued slowly, keeping her voice low. She bit back a laugh from all three of their reactions, or lack thereof, and just leaned further toward her partner, pulling her bottom lip through her teeth. Like always, it drove him crazy. "I'll just leave that pillow with you and go hang out with Alexis." And with that she turned on her heels and walked over to Ryan and Esposito. "Ryan finish up with checking the surveillance videos on Westland's apartment and then go with Esposito to the bar Colin Anders frequents. He might be our missing link."

"Sure thing, boss," Ryan responded. "In fact, I just finished going through it. Westland's clear. He didn't leave once he entered his apartment at 8:03 pm until 4:28 am the next morning."

Kate returned to the murder board and moved Westland from their Suspects list to their Persons of Interest list. "Alright. Go back to the bar then. Something's gotta crack."

Castle sat down next to her after the boys left and nudged her shoulder with his. "So hanging out with Alexis is fun for you, huh?"

She smiled over at him and nudged him back. "Well that, too, but I can't help but picture the look on your face if I ever just came over and left my pillow with you and left." She laughed. "Yep, it would look something like that," she said, taking in his expression of bewilderment.

"The day you do that I'll know I've done something wrong," he responded, suddenly serious.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Well, yes, but why so serious?"

"Okay, you can't quote Batman at me and expect me to just let it slip by."

"There you are," she laughed.

He chuckled. "Well in answer to your question, Joker, I think my mother gave me the speech your father has no doubt been preparing for me. I mean, for whoever sweeps you off your feet…for future…things."

"Well spoken."

"Thank you."

"So what did your mom say?"

"Well apparently if we ever split, you get Mother and I get a daughter who would never forgive me. She might, in fact, go with you, too."

"Ah, the hurt my daughter and I'll kill you slowly speech." Kate stared at Castle for a moment. "She really thinks of me as a daughter?"

"Well considering the fact that she has always been your greatest advocate, not to mention ours, I would say that she's always cared for you like a mother. Seriously, Kate," he said, looking around to make sure no one was listening, "I mean it when I say we all view you as part of our family."

"But—"

"The bond is there. And the love. Always has been. Always will be."

Kate stared at him for another moment before looking away. "You have to stop doing that," she told him.

"Doing what?"

"You have to stop making me want to ruin our game in front of all these people."

"Well I don't know if I can promise that." She leveled a glare at him. "What? You can't turn off this kind of charm, you should know that." Kate met his cocky grin with an eye roll and turned back to the murder board. Suddenly she felt his breath on her ear. "All I want you to know is that, while we'd never try to replace your family, nor would my mother try to replace the memory of your own, you do have a place with us. That's all."

He leaned back and Kate took the opportunity to reach down and squeeze his hand. If they never moved forward from this moment, Kate thought she would be happy. She loved her dad, there was no doubt of that. They'd been through hell and back together. But that journey had done a lot of damage, something they wouldn't really ever come back from. It was a long time since she'd considered the two of them a family with the kind of bond Rick and Alexis shared. _But_, Kate thought as a smile played on her lips,_ I have a family now._ She looked over at Rick. _And it's something only he could have given me._

"My dad's gonna love you," she told him.

* * *

"I still think something's going on," Ryan told his partner as they drove back to High Flyers, the bar Anders frequented.

"I think the whole world agree with you on that one, bro," Esposito responded. "There's no tension or friction between them anymore."

"Well you know her better than I do. Would Beckett tease all of us like this without being in a relationship with Castle?"

"It would definitely take a shift in their relationship to make her do something like this. To be comfortable enough."

Ryan thought a moment. "We've gotta get Castle alone."

Upon entering the bar, Ryan and Esposito found a different bartender behind the bar. They showed their shields. "I'm Detective Esposito, this is Detective Ryan. Were you working here two nights ago?"

"Peter Hodgins," he introduced himself, "And yes I was."

"We'd like to ask you a few questions about one of your patrons, Colin Anders? Was he in here that night?"

"He was. He comes in most nights. Stays until 2 or 3 before heading home. I usually have to call him a cab."

"Is that what happened Wednesday night?" Ryan asked.

"Wednesday night? No. On Wednesday, Anders made somewhat of a scene. It wasn't big enough for most people to notice, but he'd been acting strange all night so I'd been keeping a special eye on him."

"What was he doing?" Esposito asked.

"He was sitting here fuming, muttering under his breath until he suddenly cursed 'That Bitch!' and stormed out."

Ryan and Esposito glanced at each other. This was it. "And what time was this, Mr. Hodgins?"

The bartender shrugged. "I'd say around 1:30?"

"That gives him enough time to make it to midtown and kill Kaylan," Ryan said.

Esposito nodded and pulled out his cellphone. "We've gotta call Beckett."

* * *

"That's it!" Castle exclaimed suddenly, jumping up from his perch on her desk.

"What's it?"

"It's been bugging me all day. When Mother and I were having that conversation this morning I said something that got me thinking about the case. But I couldn't quite puzzle it out until now." He brushed past her puzzled expression and jumped right in. "Kaylan was the sort of jockey you didn't want to lose. You played for keeps with her."

"And Anders is her trainer, he wouldn't want to see her leave," Kate continued, catching on.

"And Candy said that Anders has a temper."

"So if his alibi doesn't check out…"

"Then Anders has to be our killer."

Castle and Kate shared another of their moments that always got his heart racing, but this time love and pride shown in her eyes, not just satisfaction, surprise, excitement, or love she didn't know she felt yet. Her cellphone ringing broke it.

"Beckett," she answered. She nodded a few times. "Thanks Esposito, we'll meet you there." She hung up the phone and turned back to her partner. "You did it, Rick," she whispered. "We got him. Anders left the bar at 1:30, not 3:30 like he told us. It gave him enough time to get Kaylan to meet him outside her apartment." She smiled at him and grabbed her keys. "You up for a ride to Bent Tree?"

Castle followed her out of the bullpen and to her car, part way in a daze. Kaylan Richardson was about to get justice.

* * *

_Yeah, this chapter is short and sweet (for me anyway). It's just a little filler chapter before the end of the case. It just felt like a good place to end. I'm not sure how much longer this little fanfic is going to go. I'm thinking maybe just another 4 chapters? End it at a clean 20? Let me know what you think. We'll wrap up the case and then focus on the fun stuff: the big reveal, the movie marathon, looking happily into the future and contemplating their relationship. All that jazz._

_Anyway, see that fun little button? The one with the words underlined in blue that say "Review This Chapter"? Go ahead and click it : ) I love me some feedback._

_And a special thanks to phnxgrl for her review! You always leave me the sweetest of reviews and they always bring a smile to my face. I love having such loyal readers like you._

_Xoxo, Aubrey_


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own them. But I do own my mistakes.**

Chapter 16.

"Colin Anders, you are under arrest for the murder of Kaylan Richardson!"

For Kate Beckett, that declaration induced one of two behaviors in her suspects. They ran or they went quietly. Most of her suspects chose the former. So did Colin Anders. Kate learned a couple things during her chase. One was that high heels were not conducive to running on a farm. The other was that even though horses were flight animals, they made fantastic body blockers. And the panic they induced made it hard for Anders to escape. Of course, Kate was all too happy to let Esposito actually capture the man. She had a feeling she would be needing a new pair of shoes.

"You got him?" She asked Esposito. He grunted as an answer and wrenched Anders' arms behind his back harder before pulling out his cuffs and tightening them around Anders' wrists. "Now," Kate continued, pushing her hair behind her shoulder and leveling her gun at the man, "Colin Anders, you're under arrest for the murder of Kaylan Richardson. You have the right to remain silent." Anders made a move to get away, but Kate was quickly in his face. "I suggest you act on that right, as well as the one where you begin to cooperate. Because we've got you. There's no where left to run."

"We found the knife you used on Kaylan in your apartment. It's being sent to our lab to be checked for her DNA and your fingerprints," Kate told Anders as she and Castle entered the interrogation room back at the precinct. "But before we get into that, let me tell you the story about a girl who had big dreams of making it in the racing industry. She had talent with horses, this girl. Some called her a prodigy. She was one hell of a jockey, but her real goal was to become a top-notch trainer, and to eventually own her own stable. More than one person noticed her, though. She was already working for one of them when a second man, a better, more accomplished man approached her and offered her the deal of a lifetime. You see, he'd heard about a plan to ruin this girl's career. Another trainer and jockey, jealous of this girl, had decided to ruin her career, to ruin her chances at a better life. They were going to frame her for using performance enhancers on her horses. So this better man, he offered her a place at his stable as his new star jockey." Kate watched as Anders' eyes blazed in anger and he shifted in his chair. "But here's the thing about this girl," she continued, catching his eye, "She was an honest, hard working woman. She never took the easy way out. She worked hard for everything she earned. So she refused this better man. He wanted her to throw a race, to let his horse win and secure herself a position at his stable. But Kaylan couldn't do that. So she walked away. She walked away from her chance at her dream. Despite the fact that life would have been easier, despite the fact that she would have had a better life there, a life away from a trainer with a temper, she did the honorable thing and stayed." Kate leaned back and let the words sink in. Anders' eyes were wide, his face blank, in shock. Then, very carefully, very quietly, "And you killed her anyway."

"But you don't understand!" He cried, jumping out of his chair. "She _was_ leaving me, leaving Bent Tree for those _people_ at Breaking Meadows. She was! I saw her talking to Townsend before her race. She shrugged him off and they swapped what looked like terse words, but when she stalked off he had a look on his face. He was happy or something. So I knew it. I knew she was leaving. And then she didn't win her race! She got second to last place and that jockey for Breaking Meadows won. Jessie Rines. I called her out on it but she shrugged, saying that Mystery just faded, that we were pushing her beyond her limit to fun a 9 furlong race. But I knew." Anders fell back into his chair and let his head fall into his hands. "I thought the same as you, but she wasn't what you thought, that girl. She was a liar and a cheater just like the rest of us."

"How did you know?" Castle asked quietly. "How did you know she was just as ruthless as the rest of you?"

"She threw that race."

"Yes, but how did you know?" Castle pressed.

"She lost."

"Horses fade."

"Mr. Anders," Kate jumped in, "Mr. Townsend told us that Kaylan refused his offer that day. He was going to try again, but Kaylan gave him a firm no. She didn't throw the race, you just ran the wrong horse."

"But I don't understand," Anders sputtered, "Mike said—"

"Mike?" Kate asked.

"Michael Westland. He said I should take a good look because Kaylan wouldn't be mine for long. I tried to shake it off, so I went to the bar. But the more I thought about it, things started to add up. I got so furious with her. I made her, you know? And then she was just going to leave me like that. I thought that if I couldn't have her, then no one should."

"Regardless of words or feelings, Mr. Anders, cold-blooded murder is never justified."

Kate and Castle left the interrogation room and she sent in an officer with the official confession form. She sat down at her own desk and pulled out the necessary forms for her own paperwork.

"Is there anything we can do about Westland?" Castle asked her as she began filling out the forms. "Accessory to murder?"

"Unfortunately, just because he was the domino that got everything rolling, it doesn't mean he's punishable," she answered him softly. "We got the man responsible for her death. That's all we can ask for."

Thirty minutes of silence passed and then, "Kate?" Castle called out quietly. She looked up at him and found him staring at the opening into the bullpen. Both Ian and Candy were standing there. She offered them a smile and turned back to her partner.

"Why don't you give them the good news, Rick?" She told him. "You spoke for her the entire case. You should be the one to speak for her now."

"You sure?" He asked, his eyes searching.

"You know the words to say, Rick. Probably better than anybody. Go ahead."

He gave her a smile, and this one was new. It was small, a half smile. Not one of joy or laughter, so the light of happiness didn't reach his eyes, but it contained love and thanks and hope. And possibly a bit of passion. His eyes held those same emotions, the soft blue darkening with the intensity of emotion passing through him. It wasn't his smile of utter brilliance and joy that she absolutely loved, but this had every potential of becoming her new favorite smile. She knew it was only meant for her.

Kate watched him walk towards Kaylan's friends and usher them into the break room. After a few moments of watching him console the two adults and delivering the news, she noticed Ryan and Esposito watching her. She smirked at them and gave them a wink, and returned to her paperwork. She'd let them stew about that one.

"Yo Beckett! We still on for the Old Haunt after work?" Esposito called over to her.

"As far as I know, Espo," she replied. "Why don't you let Lanie know?"

"Why would I? She's your friend."

"Well I just figured with the way things were going with you two you might as well be the one to tell her." She looked up at him. "Was I wrong?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Esposito scoffed. Ryan coughed beside him, trying to cover up a laugh.

"See, Esposito? Even your partner doesn't believe you."

"You know what? You withdraw those love-sick puppy dog eyes you've got for Castle and we'll talk."

She threw a pencil at his head as he and Ryan broke out into hysterics. "Watch it Esposito, I've still got that story from last Christmas up my sleeve. One phone call and you'll be too embarrassed to talk to your new girlfriend tonight."

"Now that is a story I want to hear," Castle said as he took his seat beside Kate's desk. She sent him a quick glance and he nodded that he was okay. "What'd I miss?" He asked.

"That's what I was just about to ask," Captain Montgomery stated as he came up beside Kate's desk.

Kate smiled up at her captain, a man she considered to be a second father. "We were just making plans to hit the Old Haunt tonight. Castle said that cops get to drink free there now. Care to join us?"

Montgomery smiled down at her. "I'll meet you four there. Just a couple things to finish up here. Now go on, get out of here. And Beckett?" He called as she stood and grabbed her coat. "Good job on the case. All of you." She smiled her thanks.

"Don't forget about Lanie, Esposito," Kate called over her shoulder as she and Castle left the bullpen. She caught Castle's eye and smiled at him. _This is gonna be fun_.

* * *

"So how are we gonna handle this?" Castle asked as the elevator doors closed on them. "Big reveal? Small, intimate setting?"

"I thought you were the ones with all the ideas, Rick."

"Well I could pull you in and kiss you suddenly, though I'm thinking that would end in me with a black eye."

"Of course not," she told him causally, "I'd hit below the belt for that one."

"But you'd secretly love it."

"You'd never find out."

"So what do you suggest, KB? You want to just announce it?"

"Sure, like it's no big deal," she replied sarcastically, "It might even slip by them and we can all go on with our merry lives."

"Or I could just propose."

"That would land you a black eye. Possibly two."

The elevator doors opened, and they started walking to her car. They stayed silent until they were safely in her car and on their way over to the bar.

"How is it we can come up with this ingenious plan and then not be able to carry it through?" Castle asked.

"Because inspiration struck and we acted on it."

"Huh," Castle said. That certainly gave him a thought.

"I'm either going to love that sound or hate it," Kate said, looking over at him apprehensively. "Do I want to know?"

"Do you trust me?"

"You do remember that on impulse you once rode a police officer's horse through the park naked. Please tell me this is not one of those times."

"Kate. You know me better than that by now."

"You also just recently bought a plot on the moon on impulse."

"Totally not the point. When it comes to you and to us I'm not rash. You know that. Now, do you trust me?"

She smiled over at him and took his hand. "With my life."

"Good. Then no questions and don't worry."

They reached the Old Haunt not long after and walked inside. Castle secured them a corner booth as Ryan and Esposito walked in.

"Lanie said she was filing paperwork for tests she had to run and then she'd be right over," Esposito reported as he slid in.

Kate gave him a triumphant smile. "Did she now?"

They were finishing their first round when both the Captain and Lanie walked in. Kate glanced over at Castle and took a deep breath. _This was it._ And that's when inspiration of her own struck.

* * *

_Cliffahnger, I know. But look at me! Three chapters in three days! Are you guys ready? I'm excited. Are you excited? Do you have any thoughts on how it'll all turn out, because I'd LOVE to hear theories. I've got a plan, but it'll be fun to see what you guys think. Maybe I'll work them in! Oo! Do it do it!_

_I also want to give a shout out to my new readers! I can't believe that I get new story and favorite alerts after each chapter. It warms my heart. You guys are chock full of awesomesauce._

_Xoxo Aubrey_


	17. Chapter 17

So have I lost all my beautiful readers yet? I am so sorry that it took this chapter so long to pop up. I was traveling without internet for half of it and then I seriously had three versions of it going: one on my computer, one on my iPod, and one I hand wrote. And I kept re-writing all of them. I wanted to get it right, so I hope I did it justice.

Standard Disclaimers apply. And it's probably a good thing I don't own Castle because this hiatus between chapters has sucked even for me.

* * *

Chapter 17.

"So Castle and I have some news for you," Kate said after they toasted to another case solved, a twinkle in her eye. Castle looked sideways at her. Something told him she had something up her sleeve.

"Oh yeah?" Lanie asked, trying hard to keep a smile off her face. "And what would that be?"

"We heard a rumor," Kate told her. "And we happen to know that it's true." Kate nudged his knee underneath the table, silently asking him to step up. _This is your forte_, he could practically hear her say, _Not mine_.

"And what rumor would that be?" Esposito asked suspiciously. He did know Kate's interrogation tactics better than Lanie.

Kate's eyes lit up. "Is there more than one? I thought it would be obvious."

"Yeah," Castle said, finding his window of opportunity and stepping in. "I mean, the news about the free beer for cops and a certain medical examiner is great, but this bit of news has been on the books for a while now."

"Well out with it, then!" Lanie exclaimed. Esposito and Ryan exchanged their bump fist to the chest, grinning, and then turned eagerly to the detective and writer sitting across from them.

Kate and Castle exchanged looks and shrugged. "Well it's not really our secret to tell," Kate began.

"But if you want us to," Castle finished.

"Woah, woah, woah. Wait. What?" Ryan interrupted.

"Oh come on, Ryan," Kate said. "You know, too."

"This isn't about you two?"

Kate and Castle looked at each other again. He had to keep his smile in check. "Should it be?" He asked. "As far as I'm aware, this is just a friendly get together between secret lovers (Kate squeezed his hand), partners (he squeezed hers), and friends. Of course, if a certain couple wants to come clean then it would just be lovers, partners, and friends."

"We just thought that you should know that we know," Kate told them.

"Girl, Imma smack you. What it gonna take for you and Writer Boy to come clean?"

"Why don't _you_ come clean and you'll find out?"

Castle watched as Lanie struggled and then caved. "Fine. Javier Esposito and I have been dating for almost a month now. Are you happy?"

But Kate just turned to Castle, a brilliant smile on her face, and held out her hand. "Told you. Pay up."

Castle kept his eyes trained on his partner, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Lanie's face fall in what he assumed to be disappointment for letting the secret out for apparently nothing more than to settle a bet. Then he saw Esposito kiss her cheek and murmur something in her ear in a rare tender moment. Ryan just looked on with interest. And that's when Castle knew. He grabbed Kate's hand in his and pulled her to him, bringing her body almost flush against his. Her eyes widened in surprise and the world seemed to melt away. He brought his other hand under her chin and used his first two fingers to tilt it up towards him. Keeping his eyes on hers and watching for any warning signs, he slowly drew her closer. Kate's eyes softened like they always did when she surrendered herself to him and he watched as they drifted close, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly in anticipation. It was all the invitation he needed. Castle ducked his head and sealed his lips with hers, smiling into the kiss when Kate tensed at the emotion he brought into it. But she quickly returned in kind and Castle had to fight not to get lost in the torrent of emotion threatening to overcome them both. He moved to break the kiss but Kate fisted her hands in his shirt and pulled him closer, claiming his bottom lip with her teeth before skimming her tongue over it to soothe the pain. Castle gave her one last kiss before pulling her hands from his shirt and enclosing them with his. She pulled back and opened her eyes at last and giggled at the show they just made in front of their friends.

"I was really only going for cash, Castle," she told him, sending him a teasing glare.

"I thought that might work better than one dollar bills," he murmured when her eyes opened.

"I don't know, Castle, I thought you'd like to see me strip," she returned.

His eyes twinkled. "Then consider it a down payment," he returned. And then his face broke out into a smile. It just kept hitting him. This was it. It just happened. They were out. They were free. The game was fun while it lasted, toying with the boys and Lanie and relishing in the change just the two of them, but none of that compared to this moment.

His breath hitched when she gave him a dazzling smile, full of promise. Her eyes sparkled with love and no small amount of anticipation. But before she could respond to hold him to his promise, a loud clearing of a throat brought them jarring back into reality. The noise and music of the bar around them settled back in. How was it that she managed to make it disappear?

"Girl, either you smack him for crossing the line or Imma smack you for holding out on me." Lanie said, leveling what wasn't quite a glare, the astonishment in her eyes kept it from being that, but would still rival even Kate's best.

Unruffled, Kate just stared at Lanie, considering her options. "There really isn't need to hit me, Lanie," she said, smiling, "I told you that the rumor going around was true. The fact that you assumed I was talking about you two is not my fault."

"Girl," Lanie started. But then Esposito interrupted.

"You know, I think it's great." He said, putting an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "You and me, and Castle and Beckett. The only thing we're missing is Jenny."

"Yeah," Ryan jumped in. "We should go out on triple dates." The rest of the gang just stared at him. "You know," he continued, "Because double dates would mean that one of us would be left behind all the time and I know that Jenny was really wanting to get to know you guys better and I mean, we've all been waiting for this to happen and-"

"Bro, shut up," Esposito told him.

Kate chuckled. "You know Ryan, despite your rambling that sounds like a great idea." She turned to Castle. "What do you think, Rick?"

"Late nights at the Old Haunt? Taking over the town together? Great company? Do you honestly think I could say no?"

Kate turned back to the table and opened her mouth to speak when Lanie jumped in. "Now just hold on a second. Before we agree to this, I have to know one thing. When did this happen between the two of you?"

"Two nights ago when the boys and I caught Lockwood."

"And how did this happen?"

"Hey guys, why don't we go get our refills from the bar?" Castle suggested. Then the writer and two relieved looking detectives made their way to the bar. They didn't need to be apart of this.

"Way to go, bro," Esposito said, clapping Castle on the back.

"Yeah man, you finally got the girl," Ryan told him. "Just know that we can kill you and leave your body where no one will find you if your hurt her."

"And Lanie knows how to kill someone without leaving physical evidence behind," Esposito interjected.

"Glad to know you have her back," Castle muttered, cringing at the images popping into his head. "But you should know by now that if I did hurt her or leave her I would most likely do something much more imaginative to myself." He gave them a wry smile that felt more like another grimace. And by the satisfied look on their faces he was right. They took a swig from their beers and all cast furtive glances at the table where Kate and Lanie were in…deep discussion.

"They're waving hands and gesticulating, should we step in?" Ryan asked.

"Gesticulating? Really? Who are you trying to be, Castle?" Esposito shot back.

"Woah, woah. Guys. No need to fight. Esposito, you can be me tomorrow." They both gave him a Beckett eye roll. "Besides," he added, nodding towards the ME and detective, "Looks to me like they're doing just fine."

* * *

"So how did it happen?" Lanie repeated once the boys were out of earshot. "And do not skim over the details, Katherine Beckett. I've been waiting too long for this not to hear everything."

Kate rolled her eyes, but grinned and replied, "What's there to tell? So Rick and I are dating now. We've been slowly heading in that direction for years now, as you've always been so keen on pointing out."

"Oh, so now he's Rick?"

"Only when we're not working." Kate waved it off. "Besides, you're just mad that I one-upped you. You _suspected_ me and Writer Man over there, but we've known about out and Espo for weeks."

"Weeks? Seriously? I thought we were doing so well."

"The question is why you thought you had to hide it in the first place." Lanie just stared at Kate as though the answer was obvious. "Oh come on, Lanie, you know that it's really only partners who can't get involved, not an ME and Detective."

"So that's why you and Castle hid it, then?"

"He's not a real detective so he doesn't count." Then she got a devilish look in her eye. "Besides, it's fun to mess with you guys. And I had to keep him in line somehow." Kate reached out and placed a hand over Lanie's. "But we were always going to tell you."

Lanie looked at Kate for a long moment. Her friend looked happy. No, that wasn't quite it. It was more than that. She looked light, more carefree. That haunted look that always stayed in her eyes was almost diminished. Lanie knew Kate would always carry her mother's death with her, but Lanie could see now that with Castle there to share that burden and help her through it, Kate didn't feel so alone, so apart from the world. And she'd finally let herself fall in love with a man who could challenge her, encourage her, make her smile and laugh, love her like it was his last day, and who would always be there for her. Who would always be there _with_ her.

So Lanie smiled. And then that smile grew and grew until she threw her arms around her friend and pulled her in tight. "I am so happy for you, Kate," she whispered. Then she pulled away and looked Kate in the eye. "And I am so proud of you for finally giving in and letting go. You couldn't have done that for a better man."

Kate smiled back. "I could only have done it for him, Lanie. No one else. He's the only one who ever managed to get behind my walls before I let him." She looked over at Castle and her features softened. "He's the only man I've ever met who truly understands."

Castle caught Kate staring at him and grinned a grin that two years ago would have had Kate rolling her eyes and muttering something about him being 12 years old. But instead she smiled back and even chuckled a little.

As the boys started back to their table, Lanie leaned over to Kate and said, "I want details and I expect them tonight." Kate looked at her and began to protest, but Lanie cut her off. "You've had Writer Boy to yourself for three days. The boys can have a guys night at Castle's loft and you and I will have a girl's night at your place where you will fill me in on everything that's changed in the last 72 hours." Lanie raised an eyebrow, daring Kate to say no. She didn't.

The five of them shared a few more rounds, enjoying each other's company, laughing about Castle's antics and the joke he and Kate played on them before Ryan called it a night.

"Jenny just texted me. Looks like Madden'll have to wait another night." He stood and turned to leave, but then looked over his shoulder and gave Kate a smile. "Well played, boss. See you tomorrow."

"Tell Jenny we'll find a time for us all to get together soon," she called after him. He waved in response.

"Don't give me that look, Javier Esposito," Lanie told him when Esposito turned towards her. "I'm still getting my girl time with Kate tonight. You are just gonna have to wait a night, mister."

Kate looked on with amusement as Esposito heaved a sigh and put on a face of utter disappointment, no doubt hoping to change Lanie's mind. The boy was love struck. But Lanie didn't even budge. Kate was hoping she would.

"So I'll be seeing you tomorrow?" Castle asked, close to her ear. Kate unconsciously leaned closer to him as she nodded, a small sigh of her own escaping her lips.

"Lanie wants details," she told him. "And I can't think of a way to get out of it."

"You could always go with the full disclosure, gory bits and all," he responded, a grin playing on his face. "Who knows, she might be so grossed out you could escape."

Kate let herself fall against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Mmm, I don't think that would work. She is an ME after all."

"And your best friend."

Kate nodded. And if she was honest with herself, Kate knew that she wanted to have Lanie know how it happened. She wanted to be able to smile and laugh with her best friend about her new boyfriend. A smile blossomed on her face at that though. Richard Castle, boyfriend. Wow.

And Lanie, who had been with her almost since the beginning of her career, who had seen her struggle to find the good in life again, who had helped her on more than one occasion bring her father home drunk from a bar, who had stuck with her as closely as Madison once had, she deserved to know just how happy and in love Kate truly was. Lanie needed to know that she didn't have to worry so much about her anymore. She had Rick now.

Kate turned her head and saw that Castle had been staring at her the entire time. She grinned at him and shook her head. "Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to stare?"

"But I find that the most amazing things happen when you watch someone for a span of time. You should try it. It's fascinating."

"Fascinating, huh?"

"Yep. And inspiring."

"Richard Castle if you go home and write about anything that has happened in the last 72 hours, you'll find just how inspiring I can be." She meant it to be threatening, but found that last part didn't come out quite as she intended.

Apparently he felt the same way. "You promise?" Kate just rolled her eyes. "But I agree with you, by the way," he whispered in her ear a moment later, serious again. "She should know. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off now, right? The more information you give now, the less you'll have to give later."

Kate turned her head to kiss him on the cheek. "Call me before you go to bed?"

"It'll feel empty without you in it."

"It's only been two nights, Rick."

"And see how much you've already changed everything?"

Kate rolled her eyes, but understood. She knew that the other half of her bed would feel empty that night, too. Everything had changed since they caught Lockwood. No, they changed before that when Rick pushed her hand off her gun and grabbed the back of her head. It had only been three days, but it felt like so much longer. Could she sleep tonight without him by her side, holding her? Keeping her demons away? The rational side of Kate told her that sleeping apart tonight was a brilliant idea. She and Castle were together all day every day. So maintaining distance at night some nights would keep their relationship healthy. The irrational side of her that craved Rick's touch, the feel of his hands in her hair, the deep blue of his eyes, told her to throw it all to the wind. The fact that she was pressed up against him, listening to his steady heartbeat and feeling his breath on her neck wasn't helping the rational side win out. She knew Rick would catch her regardless and would abide by whatever she needed. But what if all she wanted, right here in this moment and even on to forever was him?

It was the independent side of her that won out. The side that said that even if baths with Richard Castle would be filled with all sorts of fun; candles, wine, and a good book would always be the perfect way for her to relax. The side that said that while Kate could imagine Rick pulling her into a slow dance to the music playing from her stereo, lying back and listening to it on her own, and even softly singing along, had always given Kate a sense of peace and tranquility she had yet to find in someone's arms. And then she thought about how she'd found something quite like it last night. Kate let out a huff and almost crossed her arms. Castle chuckled behind her.

"What's wrong?"

Kate looked at Lanie and Esposito for a moment before she answered. They too were sharing a quiet conversation, seeming to be lost in each other's eyes. A soft smile adorned her face. This was a new side to both of them that she was seeing. "Nothing," she finally answered him with a sigh. "Just thinking."

He poked her in the side by way of letting her know he didn't believe her. She giggled and squirmed away from his touch before settling back down when she was sure we was done torturing her. "I was just thinking about what you said," she told him. "About how everything has changed and how it's weird to think about sleeping alone now." She sat up from her position on his side and turned in the booth so she was sitting face to face with him. She wanted to read his eyes and let him read hers. "It's never been like that for me before. And it's only been three days. Two nights. And everything is already upside down. I was always able to maintain my independence before. And I know that hasn't changed," she told him when he started to object, "But I always craved it. Wanted it. Needed it. But with you it's different. I don't need it. I don't feel like I'm losing part of myself or suffocating in any way. I know I'll want some space to call my own every once in a while, but it's not like the past when I was fine going days without seeing whoever I was dating." She searched his eyes to make sure he understood. His eyes bore back into hers, understanding and respect and love shining through. She smiled. "So, I've been sitting here trying to convince myself that time alone really isn't such a bad thing. The only problem is that every reason I come up with, I see you making it better."

"Ah, I see. The problem is that I'm too perfect."

"Far from it," she told him as she leaned in. "But you're perfect for me."

Their lips met in a searing, yet soft kiss. He kissed her one, twice, three times before resting his forehead on hers and letting his eyes do the talking. She gently rubbed her nose on his in return and gave him one last swift peck.

"Time to bite the bullet?" He asked softly. She nodded. "Then I'll call you later."

She caught the excited glint in his eyes. "Your muse strike you with inspiration?" She asked him.

"Always," he replied. He pressed his lips to her forehead and stood to leave. Lanie and Esposito's eyes followed his movement. Esposito gave Lanie a swift peck of her own and followed Castle out of the bar, waving goodnight to Kate.

"I'll call the cab," Lanie told her as she scooted out of the booth.

"No need," Kate said. "We took my car over here." Lanie let out a small squeal in excitement and Kate rolled her eyes. _Well this is certainly going to be a night to remember._

* * *

Lanie could barely control her delight, her amazement, and her utter relief as she took a cab home later that night. Everything Kate told her rolled around in her brain, but the only thing she could think was _finally_. She was proud of her boy Castle in stepping up and making the first move. It may have been undercover, but it didn't stay that way for long. And then undercover led to under the covers and if the blush that had crept up on Kate's face said anything, Lanie would bet that Writer Boy was damn good in bed.

What Lanie was surprised about was the fact that Kate didn't try to sweep it under the rug like she had been doing with anything Castle related over the last two and a half years. _Although_, Lanie considered, _It was Castle that refused to be pushed aside after their talk in the ambulance. Kate did try to run. Again. Imma have to give that boy some kind of reward for going after what was his._ And with that Lanie sat back with a satisfied smile. She wasn't a baker, but maybe she could buy Castle some cookies. Or muffins. He seemed like the kind of guy who would like muffins. Starbucks had those delicious blueberry and apple concoctions. She'd get him a few of those.

She was proud of Kate, too, for finally letting down her final walls and letting Castle step in to proverbially save her. He'd done it in the literal sense enough times to deserve some kind of medal. Lanie had been watching him long enough to know that saving her life and keeping her heart beating was one thing, but she'd known that he would never rest until he had that heart beating with more than just purpose and fulfillment, but beating _for_ something: love, life, happiness. Lanie knew Castle always hoped Kate would find that in him, but Lanie also knew that his love for Kate went deep enough that if she found it in someone like Josh, then Castle would step aside and watch her be happy. But Kate had chosen Castle. She'd let him all the way and jumped in, dove in head first, knowing he was right beside her, trusting him with her heart. Lanie couldn't even begin to describe the joy she felt inside for her friend. Kate Beckett was in love and for once in her life was not afraid to admit it. And show it. She was confident and content.

"_I'm not afraid to live now, Lanie," Kate had told her. "Rick knows. He knows everything. He's seen every side of me and not one of them has made him want to run. It's like this is what my mom was trying to tell me before she died. And he's it. He's what she was trying to describe. God, if you only knew, Lanie. He can turn from being serious to lighthearted and funny in an instant. And he's smart and quick witted. And he's so strong. In both will and body. But then his eyes get so tender and his touches get so soft." Her smile turned wistful and her eyes shined in a way Lanie had never seen before._

"_You really love him, don't you," she'd said. It wasn't a question, but Kate had nodded anyway._

"_You know as well as I do that it all started with his books. But I think I fell in love with him when I saw the way he was around his daughter. I saw the real man then, the one he hid behind his playboy façade. And I tried to fight it for so long, to deny the chemistry between us, the roaring furnace, because I knew that if I let him in, he could really hurt me." Kate had looked away, then, and Lanie had known she was thinking about what she went through after Johanna died. When Kate unconsciously reached up and grasped the ring around her neck, it left no question in Lanie's mind. "But the other night when he kissed me, I realized that just because I refused to admit it myself didn't drive the truth away. And once I removed the blinders from my eyes I saw what I'd been refusing to see for some time now."_

"_That he loves you?"_

_Kate had smiled. "That he loves me. And it scared the hell out of me. But then I realized something else."_

"_That you love him, too."_

"_Are you going to steal every special moment out of my mouth?" Kate had teased._

_Lanie just leaned back into the couch with a smile and reached for her wine glass. "I'm just glad you're finally seeing what I've seen all along."_

"_But it's more than that, Lanie. I always felt that if I let myself be really happy then I'd forget. I'd forget my mom. Because if I forgot her even for a moment, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to remember what she looked like or sounded like or how I always fit inside her arms. But with Castle…he knows, too. And he asks about her and wants to see pictures. He knows how important it is to me to keep her memory alive. But he's also shown me that it doesn't me I can't live in the process."_

"_So you're not afraid to live anymore," Lanie then repeated, relief flooding through her. It seemed to her that Kate was finally healed._

"_No, I'm not afraid anymore."_

"_You know what that means, don't you?" Lanie had asked. Kate had responded by raising an eyebrow. "Girls night out just got a whole lot crazier!"_

She and Kate had spent the rest of the night talking and laughing until their ribs hurt. At 1 AM Lanie had hugged her friend goodbye and hailed a cab. She may not have Javier tonight, but Lanie knew she would sleep like a baby knowing her friend no longer went to bed feeling empty.

* * *

At 1:30, Kate was finally crawling into bed. She was exhausted from her long day, but all her revelations to Lanie also left her feeling unusually energized. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, Kate decided she needed a little help in falling asleep. She crawled out of bed and made her way to the bookshelf. Smiling, Kate decided that if Rick couldn't be here physically to help her sleep, his words could at least get her there. Still feeling nostalgic from her talk with Lanie, Kate picked out the book that started it all, Heat Wave. It was already worn from the number of times she read it over the summer, but just like the man, Kate never tired of it. Settling down in her bed, she flipped to the first chapter and began reading.

She was just finishing chapter three when her phone pinged. She looked over at it. Castle, it read. Another smile tugged at her lips.

_Hey, is the coast clear?_

_Yep. _ She typed back. _Do you normally stay up till 2 AM writing?_

_Why do you think I come in so late on most mornings?_

_I always thought it was to make yourself pretty._

_It's genetic from my mother's side. _He wrote. _We Rogers love our beauty sleep._

_Did you get a lot of work done?_

_I did. It's amazing what a change in your relationship status can do for inspiration._

_I'm sure._

_Why are you still up?_

_Couldn't sleep just yet. _Not a minute later and her phone was ringing.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

Kate chuckled. "Yes, everything's great. I just couldn't shut my brain off after Lanie left."

"Which was when?"

She looked at the clock. 2:15. "About an hour or so ago."

"How'd it go?"

"She seemed really proud of you for finally making a move," she told him, settling further down into her bed.

"And I'm sure she was proud of you for taking that step, too, and letting us happen."

"Mmm. She seemed really happy for us."

"Aside from my mom, I think she was the first one to push us together." Kate stifled a yawn and agreed with him. "Hey Kate?" He asked after a moment.

"Hm?" She turned off her bed side lamp and placed the book on the table.

"I've been wanting to ask, does biting a bullet hurt?"

Kate decided to chalk her sudden outburst in laughter to the fact that his voice had a soothing effect on her that tamed her energy and allowed her exhaustion to catch up to her. It's not like he was getting any funnier; she was just getting loopy.

"Kate?"

"Sorry," she choked out as she tried to catch her breath. "I'm getting tired finally." She took a few more calming breaths. "You know, Castle, I've never actually tried to bite a bullet before, but since it's in the same phrase category and ripping off a Band-Aid and those do hurt, I'm gonna go with yes."

"Can I borrow one tomorrow and see?"

"No."

"Kaaatee."

She shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see it. It was good to know some things would never change. "It looks like 2:30 doesn't wear well on either of us, Rick." She knew he could hear the smirk in her voice. "We'll revisit this conversation tomorrow when you've got a level head."

He humphed for good measure and muttered "fine" before he turned serious once again. "Don't stay up too late reading my book, love."

"How did you-"

"Because I know you," he replied. "Heat Wave or Naked Heat?"

"Heat Wave."

He hummed in contentment and Kate could swear he knew the reason she chose it. Since it was him, he probably did. "Sleep tight, love."

"See you tomorrow, Rick."

"Hey Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"I love you, too."

Kate slide her phone closed and stared at it for a moment, realizing that once again the man had managed to put a smile on her face. She idly wondered if her cheeks would start hurting soon. And then she wondered which ending to the day she preferred: the one with Rick in it, or the one with the goodnight phone call. Because they both warmed her heart. But it wasn't really a decision, just a passing wonder. The answer was clear. Nothing compared to waking up with Richard Castle. Morning breath aside, he made excellent waffles. And he held her just the way she always dreamed she'd one day be held.

* * *

_So I know I don't deserve them after the long month of no updates, but reviews are love! And they are seriously the only thing that will be getting me through to September 19th after that preview they aired. Dear God. Also, on a side note, the story is most likely ending soon. I know it's kind of sudden, but I have the end chapter in mind, it's just a matter of whether it's next chapter or a couple chapter from now and what I would fill said chapters with. SO! Let me know what you want. It's all for you guys, anyway. This is just a bit of fun for me : ) You guys make it come to life._

_xo, Aubrey_


	18. Chapter 18

**Woop! A couple months didn't go between chapters! : ) Here's chapter 18. We've had a time jump, but that's kind of obvious in the first two words. I got so many awesome reviews asking me to continue, so I'll make it an even 20 chapters so you know what to expect. xo, Aubrey**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Except my mistakes. I'm happy to own those.**

**And a big thank you to my wonderful beta Ally. I love you darling.**

Chapter 18.

Six months. Six months and he couldn't have come up with a better way to ask the question. "Excuse me?" Kate asked again. Rick's grin just grew wider.

"Oh come on, Kate, like you haven't been waiting for me to ask you."

"Right, because I just hang on your every word."

"The fact that I just found a signed copy of one of my Storm books tells me that you do in fact hang on my every word." He waved Storm's Break in front of her. "Why didn't you tell me we'd met before now?"

"Rick, that's not important right now. And just because I may, hypothetically, highly improbably hang on your _written_ word, doesn't mean I just wait for you to spring something like this on me."

With an amused grin, Rick stepped closer to Kate, placed the book on the coffee table, and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I've known you for over three years now, and we've been dating for the last six months. That's a little over three years of loving you and knowing I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That's about, what, two or so years of you knowing the same thing? Come on, love, you don't have to tell me you've been waiting for this."

"It's a big step."

He nodded and looked deep into her eyes. She could see he wasn't taking this lightly, that he knew exactly what he was asking of her. If they did this, then their intentions became real, not something they idly talked about or joked about. Rick's eyes grew gentle, drawing her in, filling her with warmth and the feeling of security that Kate could only find in him. "We already share closet space and I have a drawer at your place. Toothbrushes, shampoos, and other miscellaneous items have made their way between our homes. You know where my dishes go and I know where to put all your take-out containers," he told her, earning a grin at his last comment. "I'm not afraid of this. We're already halfway there. Move in with me, Kate."

"Rick, there are so many things to consider." Kate halfway hated her brain for being so rational at times like these, but she also knew that the caution was warranted. Everything with him was new to her. Rick knew her so well. He knew when she was angry or upset just by the way her brow was furrowed or by the tightness of her mouth and eyes. He knew that his response should be to sit by her side, pinky entwined with hers, until her shoulders relaxed and she opened up. He knew, by the way she walked or held her head when she needed to be alone. He, ever patient and understanding, would take his computer and start writing until she sought him out. But he also knew when she secretly wanted him to find her. Even before she did. Those were the nights she would just lie in his arms, feeling him trace patters on her back, content to lie in silence until she let out a deep sigh and let him in a little more. She loved the intuition he seemed to have when it came to her and she adored the man all the more for it. But, all this was new to her. Never before had a man known her this well. Nor another person, for that matter. No one had stuck around long enough to find out. And because of that, moving in, sharing living space with another person, all of it was uncharted territory. And it scared her. Because Kate loved having space to call her own. Living with Rick…she wouldn't get that. Would that bother her?

Plus, there was also the matter of Alexis and Martha to think about. How would they react to her taking the same address as them? Would Alexis think Kate was trying to take the role of her mother? Would she be stepping on toes or boundaries for these women? Kate knew Martha was hardly home most of the time now that she had her drama school starting up, but how would Kate fit into the mix with Martha still woman of the house?

And what did it mean exactly, them moving in? Kate meant it when she told Rick she was a one and done type. That in part extended to living under the same roof. And what if it didn't work out? What if—

"Kate." Rick's gentle voice called her out of her reverie. She met his eyes and saw all her answers. She took a deep breath.

"I don't really have a reason to say no, do I?"

"No. But you have every reason to say yes."

Kate fought not to roll her eyes. "You can be so cheesy, you know that, right?"

"Did it work?"

"We still have to discuss things."

"Yes, but did it work?"

Kate grinned up at him, standing on her toes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well here's the thing," she told him conspiratorially, "I was never going to say no."

Rick gave her the largest smile and spun her in a circle as he gave a whoop of joy. After he set her down he grabbed her hand and led them towards her door. "Come on," he told her.

"Where are we going?"

He only smiled in return. Kate sighed but followed him. She'd learned long ago to just go with it. In dating Richard Castle, Kate had learned that life was spontaneous and fun and where she would have put up a fight before, now Kate smiled as she locked her door behind her. _Always an adventure_, she thought. _And certainly never a dull moment._

Kate followed Rick down and out of her building. He held out his hand once they reached her car, and Kate quickly deliberated before passing her keys over. She shook her head as she thought about what else had changed over the last six months. And honestly, Kate had been slowly letting loose since Rick walked into her life. She grew out her hair, softened her makeup; she smiled more easily, and laughed during murder cases. The fundamentals of Kate Beckett hadn't changed, but the man certainly had loosened her up a bit. She felt more like she did before her mom died, free rather than the carefree, die hard personality she adopted after her mom died and her dad went off the deep end. _Healthy_, Kate thought as she looked down at their clasped hands before she looked at the man himself. _I'm finally healthy again._

It was true that her mom's murder was still on her mind, and Kate knew that if she let herself she would obsess over it again, and that she was still haunted, and there were still things that she and Rick hadn't talked about yet, _but we'll get there_, she thought as she squeezed his hand. _We'll get there._

"Rick?" She asked as he pulled into his building's garage. But she still got no answer. He just squeezed her hand quickly and hopped out, expecting her to follow. _Talk about a role reversal,_ Kate thought wryly.

They rode the elevator in silence, with Kate shooting Rick questioning glances every few seconds. "You know, when I agreed to move in with you, I didn't think it meant within the next twenty minutes." Still nothing. The elevator doors dinged open and Kate grudgingly followed him to his door.

Rick opened it and stepped in before her. Kate raised an eyebrow. _So much for chivalry_.

"Hi Pumpkin," he called out.

"Did you ask her? Did she say yes? Oh Dad, please tell me she said yes!" Alexis' excited voice carried past Rick to where Kate was still standing in the hall. Before Rick could turn around with his this-is-why-we're-here smile, a bundle of red hair appeared in the doorway. "You said yes, right?" Alexis asked her, blue eyes wide in excitement and hope, a smile spread across her face.

"I—yes?" Kate finally answered. Alexis wanted her here?

"You did? Oh that's so great!" Alexis pulled her into a hug and then pulled her inside, leaving her father to shut and lock the door behind them. "When do you move in?" She asked, the words tumbling out of her. "Isn't this great? This is so great! You'll finally here all the time, like the real family member that you are! Where's Gram? She's gotta hear about this." Alexis left Kate standing dazed by the kitchen counter. "Gram! Gram! Kate's here!"

"Oh wonderful!" came the diva's voice. "I've missed her face around here." Martha's voice grew louder as she made her way down the hall to the stairs.

Alexis rolled her eyes, earning Kate a pointed stare from Rick. Apparently it was something Alexis had picked up over the last few months. "You'd think you'd been gone a month, not a few days," Alexis said.

"And technically, I wasn't even gone," Kate said. She just hadn't had the time to stop by the Castle's loft in the last few days due to their case keeping her at the precinct into the wee hours. Rick had wanted to stay, but she'd sent him home with Ryan and Esposito each night. He knew her process as well as she did and staring at the Murder Board until it revealed that little detail she was missing not only worked to solve a case like the last one, but it also did a lot for her clarity of mind. Then again, it also left Kate alone at night, when she finally did get home. _Yeah_, Kate thought, _you're a goner alright. _She mentally shook her head. Kate Beckett, who never depended on anyone in her life, somehow found herself relying on a man for one of the most basic acts of humankind. Sleep.

"That may be true, darling," Martha told her as she descended the steps in true Martha Rogers fashion, "But you were missed nonetheless. Now Richard," she told him as she kissed his cheek hello, "Please tell me that you've asked this beautiful woman to move in because if you haven't then I'm going to do it for you. Your endless pacing and murmurings and practicing are doing terrible things to my serenity."

"You practiced?" Kate asked Rick, looking over at him incredulously. He smiled sheepishly. "And how did that work out for you?"

He chuckled, no doubt thinking about how he really asked – out of breath from running up the stairs to her door and asking, quite out of breath, 'Will you move in with me?'

"Quite well, actually," he answered, "Considering the answer I got."

Martha clapped her hands together. "Ah! Then this calls for a celebration! Champagne anyone?"

"You really don't mind?" Kate blurted out, unable to hold her surprise in any longer.

"Mind? Darling, you live here anyway in my book. May as well make it official," Martha answered with a wave of her hand as she collected the glasses and found the bottle she was looking for. "Like I've told you before, Kiddo," she continued, "You're a part of this family and we want you here."

Kate smiled at the older woman. Despite all of Martha's flourish, she really was one of the most down to earth people Kate knew. She looked to Alexis, who was shaking her head.

"You really don't get it yet, do you?" The teenager asked.

"I just don't want you to think that…"

Alexis held up her hand. "Kate, I know it's a little early to say this, and I don't want you to freak out, but here's the thing: I can't wait for the day when I can call you my stepmother."

Kate felt her mouth drop open and the room suddenly went silent as Martha stopped pouring glasses. Rick stiffened and stopped breathing beside her. She could feel his eyes studying her, watching for her reaction. But everything else to Kate was blank. How was she supposed to react to that? What was she even feeling right now? Surprised. Elated. Slightly terrified to let the girl down. Curious as to Rick's reaction. Horrified to think of what happened if things didn't work out, which led to sadness she didn't even want to contemplate.

"I freaked you out, didn't I?" Alexis said, "Oh you're freaking out. Please don't freak out Kate!" Alexis pulled Kate into a fierce hug. "You've just done so much for our family," she said in Kate's ear. "You've made Dad grow up as much as he can and given him a sense of purpose, you've given me someone to look up to and talk to, you've given Gram peace of mind now that her son is finally happy." Alexis pulled back and looked Kate in the eyes. She was once again taken back at the amount of wisdom in the young woman's blue eyes. "And you've brought a new kind of love to this family. I just want you to know that not only do we want you with us, but we need you with us."

Kate felt the tears well up as Alexis' words sunk it. "I need you guys, too," she murmured. Alexis pulled her into another hug, which was quickly followed by Rick's warm embrace and Martha's arm's encircling them last. Kate smiled from the middle. She'd never been a huggy person, much less a touchy feely kind of person, but now Kate had three kinds of hugs she absolutely loved. She loved Rick's hugs. They were warm and gentle, but imparted strength and support at the same time. She loved the hugs her friends now gave her – Alexis, Martha, Lanie, even her Dad now that they were closer. These hugs were full of love and life and were usually followed by laughter. Or they were ones like the one Alexis just gave her. Reassuring and hopeful, full of promise. But the third category was by far her favorite. And it was this one right here, with her family wrapped around her. It held everything in it: hope, life, security, love, promise, strength. But beyond that, and more than the other hugs, this one made Kate feel wanted. Rick's hugs made her feel needed and cherished, an 'I'm-never-letting-you-go hug'. This one was a 'sorry-Kate-you're-stuck-with-us' hug. And that was just fine by her.

Until oxygen was needed. "Thank you," she told them. And they released her.

"Always." Alexis murmured.

Kate brought her surprised eyes to the girl's, who blushed and shrugged her shoulders. She glanced at Rick and found him smiling broadly, pride for his little girl shining in his eyes. And suddenly, just like that, their word for I love you turned into something so much more. It became a family thing. A word of promise and a future with more than just Rick. Kate smiled as well and touched her hand to Alexis' cheek.

"So," Martha said as she returned from collecting their drinks, "When are you moving in darling?"

"And don't pick a day during the week," Alexis interjected. "Because I want to be here for it and I can't if I'm in school."

"You wouldn't even play hooky to help Kate move in?" Rick asked with a teasing smile.

Alexis and Kate rolled their eyes at the same time. "As if I'd let her even if she wanted to," Kate told him.

"So when?" Rick asked quietly.

"Well, I'm on call this weekend, but I'm not next weekend. Beyond that I couldn't tell you."

"Then it's settled!" Martha exclaimed, raising her glass. "Kate is officially part of the Castle household in one week!"

After the three of them toasted to taking a new step in life and love, with Rick offering Alexis a sip and being declined, Rick pulled Kate aside. "There's one more thing I want to show you," he told her.

He led her upstairs towards what Kate knew to be Martha's room. "Rick, I don't understand." she began. But when he opened the door she gasped. The room was empty of all of Martha's belongings. Posters and pictures from her various plays, her extravagant dresser, wardrobe, mirror, flowers. All of it. In their place was white tape outlining the new design for the room.

"Rick, why is there murder tape in your mother's room?"

"Because it's not her room anymore, it's yours." Rick took her hand and led her inside. "Mother moved out about a week ago to stay in the loft above her drama school. It has an apartment above a couple of the schoolrooms. It's made it easier for her to be present as they finish up renovations and get things underway." He pointed to the outlined rectangles and squares littering the floor. "This is where some of the stuff from your apartment can go. Your leather couch and glass coffee table here and your desk and computer can go over there by the window." Then, he led her to the left wall, the only one completely bare. "A mirror and runner can go on the other wall so you can put up pictures of your mom and dad, Alexis, the boys, us, or whatever you want to do. But I was hoping you'd let me do something for you on this wall."

"Rick this is—how did you know?" Kate was at a loss for words. How the hell did he know exactly what she needed before she could even bring it up? A sitting room just for herself?

"Because you love your space. Solitude versus isolation. You like to keep your independence and have your "me time" every once in a while. But you never lock yourself in. Or at least, you've never locked me out so that I couldn't bring you back." He ran a finger down her cheek. "This room can be yours to use however you need it, whenever you need it. I won't bother you while you're in here."

Kate nodded and looked around. A smile began to slowly form on her face. This was absolutely perfect. And the fact that he thought of it…he really knew her. All of her. And he loved every bit. Enough to give her her own place of solitude.

"So what's this big gift?" She asked as she turned back toward him. "Because, you know, a special room isn't already enough."

Rick chuckled. "You'll need a place to put your books. I thought I'd build you a built-in bookcase. It can cover the entire length of the wall from floor to ceiling. You can design it yourself if you want or it can be in just a regular old bookcase style."

"You want to build me a bookcase?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"So someone else will actually do the building, but the thought still stands. After all," he winked, "It is the thought that counts."

"I don't know, Rick," she mused as she walked along the room, examining where he had imagined everything going. She was only slightly surprised to find that it mimicked her living room area almost exactly. "Thoughts are great, but I think I'd rather have the bookcase."

"Fine," he counted, crossing his arms. "No thoughts for you."

"You know," she replied lazily, coming back around to him, "That's exactly what I've been trying to get for the last three years."

"Well we all know how well I listen." She smiled at the twinkle in his blue eyes.

"Mmm yes, just like a misbehaving puppy."

"I am not a puppy," he protested, frowning.

"Really? Because you're pouting like one."

"Puppies beg, they don't pout."

"Ah. So you'd like to be a baby then? Because I'm pretty sure babies pout."

Rick shook his head, looping his arms around her waist. "I'm never going to win with you, am I?"

She responded by circling her own around his neck, pulling him closer. "You like me to keep you on your toes." she murmured.

"Nuh uh," he told her, his nose brushing against hers as he shook his head. "I love it."

She smiled into their kiss. It was another one of her favorite things, this kiss. God knew Kate loved kissing Richard Castle. Even after six months, part of her couldn't believe she was not only kissing him, but dating him, and now apparently moving in with him. Richard Castle. The author whose words had the power to reach out and saving a drowning girl after her mother died. So yes, she loved the kissing part. But this kiss, the thank you kiss, was special to her. They had many, ones full of passion and yearning, good morning kisses, good night kisses, come-eat-breakfast kisses. She always laughed after his 'we-got-a-body' kisses. He was still a little too excited for a murder scene, but then again his energy made it fun for the rest of them. She was also a fan of the 'my-daughter's-watching-but-I-secretly-want-to-take-your-clothes-off' kiss. The things she could do to that man with that kiss. But of course she didn't because she wouldn't want to scar Alexis. And of course there were the 'I'm-sorry' kisses for after they'd made mistakes or when one of them had a hard day and they shared 'I'm-here-for-you' kisses. But it was the thank you kiss that always had Kate smiling into it. Because this one was filled with gratitude, not only for the act bestowed by the other person, but for the person themselves. It was an 'I-don't-know-what-I'd-do-without-you' kiss. An 'I-can't believe-I'm-lucky-enough-to-call-you-mine' kiss. Kate never knew until she met the Castles just how much she loved being needed.

The thank you kiss was probably the purest of their kisses, but it made Kate's heart beat faster all the same. Because generally, the 'I-can't-believe-you're-mine' turned into 'damn-right-I'm-yours' and things just escalated from there. But this time it stayed gentle, though still slightly teasing.

"This is perfect," she whispered when they broke apart. "I don't know how to say it…"

"You don't need to," he told her. "I know."

Kate looked him in the eyes for a long moment, trying to tell him silently what she couldn't put into words. Then she pulled him in.

"I love you," she whispered into the crook of his neck as she wrapped her arms around his back. He smiled into her hair. After a few seconds she started humming. It took him a few seconds but then he started quietly singing the words in his ear. She smiled but continued humming to him, surprising herself a little when she joined in. Their voices mingled and she loved the sound they made.

_There you stand opened heart, opened doors_

_Full of life with a world that's wanting more_

_But I can see when the lights start to fade_

_The day is done and your smile has gone away_

_Let me raise you up_

_Let me be your love_

_May I hold you_

_As you fall to sleep_

_When the world is closing in_

_And you can't breathe_

_May I love you_

_May I be your shield_

_When no one can be found_

_May I lay you down_

Rick pulled back and stared into her eyes as he sang the next verse to her. She was captivated by what she saw in those blue eyes, a storm sea of emotion rolling towards her.

_All I want is to keep you safe from the cold_

_To give you all that your heart needs the most_

_Let me raise you up_

_Let me be your love_

_May I hold you_

_As you fall to sleep_

_When the world is closing in_

_And you can't breathe_

_May I love you_

_May I be your shield_

_When no one can be found_

_May I lay you down_

Kate took the last verse, nestled in his arms as they moved slowly around the room dancing to their music. She smiled when he echoed her words, promising her what she was promising him.

_All that's made me_

_Is all worth trading_

_Just to have one moment with you_

_So I will let go_

_Of all that I know_

_Knowing that you're here with me_

_For your love is changing me._

The two of them just stared into each other's eyes, no longer needing to finish the song. If ever there was a moment that a whole lifetime passed in a gaze between two people, then this was it. Kate had long since realized that it was the best part about them not only as partners, but as a couple. She and Rick were always on the same wavelength, needing only one word or one look to know what the other was thinking or feeling. The problem was that they sometimes got lost in those moments. Well, problem was a relative term. Because even though they'd stopped singing, she could still hear the melody in her ears.

_May I hold you_

_As you fall to sleep_

_When the world is closing in_

_And you can't breathe_

_May I love you_

_May I be your shield_

_When no one can be found_

_May I lay you down_

And there was only one thing she could respond with. Kate traced a finger over his eyebrow and down his jaw then over his lips. She smiled as she reached down and laced her fingers with his.

"Yes."

* * *

_Before you freak out, no that song was not some weird proposal that she said yes to. It was just a promise between the two of them to support and love each other. And the song was called "May I" by Trading Yesterday. You'll have to find it on YouTube because the band no longer exists. _

_Ally asked for Jim Beckett love so that'll come next : ) We need Papa Bear to show up sometime, right? Any other requests? Reviews are love 3_

_And the review that made my day was from **Louis2634**. Thank you so much for your kind words. Your review above all the others made me decide to continue this story._


	19. Chapter 19

**She's back! Okay so before you kill me, allow me to explain. I had to take time from FanFiction for personal reasons. I didn't forget the story or abandon it and I hated that I couldn't finish it before I left for this long span of time. But I didn't have a choice. So I'm so so so so sorry and I hope you can forgive me. If it makes you feel any better, I'm just now catching up with the show as well. But! I am finishing this story as we speak to hopefully make up for this time missed, I'm posting two chapters at the same time! I'll have the 21****st**** chapter up as soon as possible and then maybe one more after that and we're done with this one! I think. Anyway, I love you all and I am so grateful to those who have stuck with me from start to finish on this maiden voyage of mine. xoxo, Aubrey**

**The reason for our mid-season hiatus is not because I've been gone from Castle for about six months now. Aren't you glad?**

_**So here's what you missed on Torrent:**_

_**Raglan died and Kate and Castle kissed. And then they did more than kiss. Then they concocted a plan to tease Lanie and the boys before coming out with a big reveal about their relationship. Then we had a six month time jump and Castle asked Kate to move in with them. Then they sang to each other (because your writer is a sap) and danced in Kate's special room. And that's what you missed on Torrent.**_

Chapter 19.

"You know, the door was closed," she stated, her eyes still trained on the page before her. Kate honestly didn't care he was there, but she needed some way to get him to stop hovering.

"I'm feeling the need for a date night," he told her as he plopped down next to her on her couch.

Kate looked up from the book she was reading and raised an eyebrow. "Because we didn't just have one last night," she told him flatly.

He grinned that boyish grin and held out his hand. "Oh, come on, Detective, how about a night on the town? You put on a fancy dress, I'll wear a suit and tie. We'll go to a nice restaurant, maybe go see a show afterward. And then we can come back here and I'll blow your mind as we fall into bed."

"With a night like that, how's a girl to say no?" She teased with a smile, putting the book away. "But I have a better idea. How about we stay in what we're wearing, go for a walk in the park, and eat dinner at the restaurant overlooking the lake?"

"See this is why I love you," he said, pulling her in and kissing her temple, "Because you come up with the best ideas."

"Hmmmm, then maybe I should be the writer in this relationship."

"I like you better as the muse," he murmured, "It's more fun."

"For you."

"I thought that's what we were talking about."

"And here I am, thinking you were this wonderful boyfriend, always thinking about me before yourself," she chuckled, peering up at him.

Rick mocked thought for a moment, his head tilted to the side before he looked back at her. His eyes shined as he took her in. "Well, yes, normally I would agree. But I never said I was perfect."

"Actually I'm pretty sure you've told me just that on more than one occasion."

"You're not helping."

"No, actually, that would be you digging your own grave. I'm just here to watch."

"Can we go to the park now?"

Kate gave him a full smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

Rick stood up from her couch and held out his hands. She took them in hers and he heaved her off the couch. They walked hand in hand out of her "Fortress of Solitude," as Rick was fond of calling it, down the steps, and to the coat closet.

"He invaded again, didn't he," Alexis said as she leaned against the couch. Kate shrugged.

"Your father wanted a date night," Kate explained with a knowing smile as she let Rick help her into her winter coat. She slapped his hands away as he tried to wrap a scarf around her neck.

"Didn't you just—"

"That was a triple date with Esplanie and…We need to come up with a name for Jenny and Ryan," Rick said, turning to Kate. He slipped on his own coat and scarf and successfully tugged a hat onto Kate's head. He failed miserably at hiding a victorious smile.

Both Kate and Alexis rolled their eyes. _Domesticity just reached a new low_, Kate thought with a secret smile. Who was she kidding? She loved it. "His point, I think, is that tonight is just for us two. Do you have plans with Paige?"

Alexis smiled. "Actually, Ashley's home for Christmas. So we're going to dinner and a movie. He's picking me up in half an hour."

Kate smiled. She knew how much Alexis missed her boyfriend. Especially when she decided not to go to college early. Rick said it was because he had finally worn her down. Kate secretly thought it was because Alexis didn't want to miss Rick's better-be-soon proposal. But whatever her reason, she was glad she still had the girl around. "You look lovely, Lex. Have fun." Alexis beamed and smiled back.

They said their goodbyes and locked the door behind themselves. "Walk or cab?" Rick asked quietly.

She took his hand in hers. "Let's just walk."

And they did. As she and Rick wandered the streets as they made their way to the park, Kate let her mind wander over the last year.

_Moving in had turned out to be fun. Kate hated moving, but the Castles made it a musical event. They blasted music throughout the penthouse once the boxes had been brought up and Rick danced with her as they dispersed her belongings throughout the apartment. Alexis and Martha had watched with amusement before disappearing upstairs. Kate had wanted to follow, but Rick held her captive, pulling her into the tango as a new song started playing. The two of them collapsed into a fit of laughter after a turn had brought them face to face with a bemused Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, and Jenny. Their laughter only increased when Jim Beckett, standing in the doorway, broke out into applause._

_ Things calmed down a little after that as they set to mixing Kate's dishes with Rick's, finding places for Kate's pieces of artwork, and sorting through and putting away Kate's clothes. Kate's father conveniently disappeared as the six of them moved into the bedroom. Kate assumed it was because he felt uncomfortable with the obvious fact that his only daughter would be sleeping in the same bed with the man in front of him, but with the significant looks the others exchanged between themselves, Kate found herself reassessing that claim._

_ Martha, Jim, and Alexis reappeared a little while later as the three couples settled onto the couch, beers and wine in hand. Martha cleared her throat with a smile and Alexis held out her hand. The rest of them stood and took their places beside the two elders while Kate stayed sitting, dumbfounded. "There's something we'd like to show you," Alexis explained as she came to a stop in front of Kate and pulled her off the couch._

_ Alexis led Kate up the stairs and down the hall. She came to a stop in front of Martha's old room. Kate suppressed a groan. The room had been closed off to her the last two weeks due to the construction of Kate's bookcase. She'd completely forgotten that she would need to move in to this room, too. But Alexis just gave her another smile and opened the room. Kate gasped. The room had been repainted to match the sitting room in her apartment. Where the murder tape used to lie, under the windows, was Kate's old leather couch and glass table. Her gaze swept over the rest of the room and just as Rick has described, in one corner was her desk and computer, already plugged in and turned on. On the other side of the room was a runner with an assortment of pictures. Some of them Kate recognized from her apartment, others from Alexis' room, others from downstairs, and some…Kate looked over at her father, a smile curving the ends of her mouth. Some of the pictures were from their house. "So you can have a little bit of everywhere you've been, from everyone you've touched in your life," Rick murmured in her ear. Kate hummed her thanks and then looked to the final wall. An incredible bookcase lined the entire wall, her books already filling it up. The woodwork was a dark cherry and it alternated one column being rectangles and the other squares, giving it some design while still leaving it plain. Just the way Kate would have wanted it._

_ "It's perfect," she whispered, turning to her family. "Everything is perfect. Thank you so much, guys. I can't even begin to describe—"_

_ "And you don't need to, darling," Martha interjected. "No thanks necessary as far as I'm concerned. We love you and this was a little something we could do to give back for all you've given for us." Rick squeezed her hip in agreement and kissed the top of her head before everybody piled in for a group hug. "Now," Martha instructed, "You make sure your father put the books in the order that you want them and then come downstairs. We'll have dinner waiting."_

_ Kate smiled at her friends and family as they made their way out the door to the kitchen. Only Rick stayed behind to steal a quick kiss and then he too was gone. Kate collapsed on her couch and let the familiar scent and feel wash over her as she observed the very unfamiliar room. But before long she was up and smiling, exploring every facet, paying particular attention to the pictures. They ranged from pictures of her and her mom or of them as a family to pictures of her with Lanie, with the boys, with Rick and Alexis. There were silly pictures, serious pictures, candid shots, and hand-taken shots. _

_Kate wore a soft, albeit watery smile by the time she finally moved to the bookshelf. Kate arranged her books in quite a unique fashion. Because of that nobody could ever find a book they wanted to borrow unless they asked Kate or knew her very well. She was surprised at how well her father did considering their history. Kate Beckett arranged her books in the order she read them. Books held a special meaning for her – some of Kate's best memories were of curling up on a couch beside her mom and the bookstore, sorting through which books they would buy next. There were also the memories of her father reading to her while her mom looked on with a soft smile. As Kate traced her hands along the books, their memories passing before her eyes, she came along to Rick's books. Kate's smile faltered and her hands stopped as she traced his name on the spine of __Gathering Storm__. This was the book she had taken when she asked for his autograph. It was the only one she had asked for him to sign. This was the book that had brought her back to life, the first of many Richard Castle novels she used to throw off the darkness her mother's death had submerged her in._

_Kate let her eyes rove over the rest of the books in her library. There were a few out of order, but she could fix it later. Her eyes returned to where her hand had stayed. Maybe one of these days she'd find a way to thank Rick for what he did for her all those years ago._

"_You know, we still have to talk about that." His soft voice thawed the chill that had settled over her heart. Kate fought the urge to shiver as the memories of her mom started to fill her mind again. When she didn't answer or acknowledge his presence, Rick moved farther into the room. In a few seconds his arms wrapped around her and Kate sank into his embrace. Her hand slipped off the spine of __Gathering Storm__ and it was like her connection to that darkness was broken. Kate turned in his embrace and snuggled into him further, hiding her face in his neck. As she breathed in his scent, the memories and pictures receded back into their vault and she could breathe again._

"_The autograph?" She finally responded._

_He ran his hand through her hair before responding, "Mhm, whenever you're ready. It's the only one besides the Nikki Heat novel I signed for you, but you have all of them."_

_Kate kissed his neck. "I'll tell you the story someday." She knew he understood that was all she could give him for the time being._

_The rest of the year passed quite easily. She and the Castles flowed into a rhythm and soon it was like Kate had always been living at the loft. She and Alexis spent increasing amounts of time together and as their bond grew tighter, they fell into a relationship very much like mother and daughter. And neither of them minded. Alexis knew Kate wasn't her mother, but she was happy to make her her mom. And Kate loved the fact that Alexis looked up to and trusted her. She increasingly thought of the girl like a daughter as the months passed, but was sure to never cross that unspoken boundary of mothering. As if Alexis needed to be mothered in the first place. But Kate knew too that Rick looked on their growing relationship with a happy and open heart. Kate didn't miss the proud smile he sent her way when Alexis came to her for advice or called her in tears. They never talked about it, mostly because Kate wasn't ready to truly look at the relationship she'd developed with her boyfriend's daughter, but she knew the consent was there when she was ready to take it._

_And she and Castle…well, they were them. Most of their time spent was playful banter and what they'd dubbed "always moments" when they would have conversations with their eyes. They'd had their knockdown, blow out fights where Kate would either tell him to leave or she would walk out and up to her room and she'd hear him throw things against the wall downstairs. But eventually he stopped letting her go or would refuse to leave. And she would continue to fight until he either repeated "I love you!" over and over or pulled her into a bear hug and refused to let go until she stopped resisting, whichever the situation demanded. Usually it was both._

_But those moments were rare, especially as time passed. And her fortress of solitude? She needed it less and less as Kate learned that what she truly needed in those moments of heartache or confusion or distress was family. In fact, Kate had taken to baking when she was processing. Alexis would bring her iPod and they'd send music through the loft off the iHome system and laugh and talk. Then Rick would join in and somehow it became a food fight. Needless to say, if Rick was home, they never actually got to bake anything. So Kate's special room became the new sitting room for her, Alexis, and Rick to read in. If she was working on a case and didn't want to be disturbed, Kate would leave the door closed, but it mostly remained open these days. And he had been very good about leaving to door closed. Except for tonight. _Leave it to Rick to break down all of my walls_, Kate thought demurely._

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Rick asked, nudging her shoulder.

Kate looked over at him and gave him a lazy smile. "Just the past year and how you've completely rearranged my life."

Rick leaned over and gave her a swift kiss, her heels making her almost even with him. "I never could have if you didn't let me."

Kate hummed in response and gazed at their surroundings. "I'm surprised, Rick," she commented with a smile, stepping ahead of him and looking around. "You managed to stay quiet the entire walk to the park."

"You, my dear, have taught me the art of patience," Rick responded, raising an eyebrow. "I could stay silent, just waiting, for forever if I needed to."

"You wanna place a bet on that, Ricky?" She baited, raising an eyebrow of her own.

Rick chuckled and held out his hand. "Come take a walk with me."


	20. Chapter 20

_As promised, here is chapter 20! Oh and disclaimer, I'm not nearly as brilliant as Andrew Marlowe or any of the other writers. I would never have thought of a (**SPOILER ALERT!**) tiger even though I go to Clemson. Just sayin. I just love to dabble. xoxo, Aubrey_

Chapter 20.

There were two items on the agenda this evening, but one couldn't happen without the other. As Kate took his hand, Rick led her to the place they had spent one of their first dates together. It was close enough to their entrance so Rick wouldn't get lost, but far enough away from the street so they didn't hear the noises of the city. But more than that, it was the perfect spot. There was this little knoll in a small clearing that overlooked one of the smaller ponds in the park. It was more beautiful in the fall when the leaves were colored yellow, orange, and red, but it was still perfect to Rick as he sat them down and looked at the surrounding, leafless trees. His gaze ended on the beautiful figure before him. He would never tire at the sight of her. Her eyes, her nose, her hair, her lips, her body, her hands. None of it. Though today, much like the day she'd stood on his doorstep after Raglan died, he focused on her eyes. And she let him. The door was open to him now, a year and a half of constant "I love you"s and "Always" had broken down each defense she'd once laid against him. There had been sleepless nights where they'd stayed up on her couch just talking and sharing and processing. She'd shared a lot about what she went through with her dad after her mom died, but only a little about herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him, Rick knew that. It was just that Kate was afraid to let it out, afraid of what that darkness would do to her again. But Rick had a question to ask her and he needed to hear the rest of her story before he could ask it.

When her gaze turned questioning, Rick took a deep breath. But the words wouldn't come. After a few moments Kate smiled and nuzzled into his side. "My mom and I always used to go to the bookstore together," she began. Rick leaned his cheek on the top of her head. Of course she knew what he wanted to ask. "One day, she found Storm Season and finished it in a couple nights. The day after she laid it on my nightstand and told me I had to read it. After that we were hooked. We just traded on and off as we read the next six books. Sometimes we would curl up on a couch at the bookstore and read them together until suddenly ten chapters had passed and we realized we needed to buy the book and go. Other times we would buy two at a time and read a book behind the other with a blanket and hot coco. Dad would grumble that she loved you more than him because she got so excited when it was time to buy the next book." Kate chuckled. "But when he got Gathering Storm for her birthday, things got much better. By then I was off at college and had kind of fallen behind. When I went home I had planned on turning in Storm Warning for Gathering Storm, but then everything happened and my world fell apart and I never did."

Kate turned in his arms then, her eyes searching his. Rick gently wiped the tears from her eyes and gave her a soft smile, asking her silently to continue. She took a few shaky breaths and laced her fingers with his. "I feel down that dark abyss for a long time. My father found the bottle, and for a while I was too blinded by my own grief to see what it was doing to him." She looked back into his eyes then. And when she spoke, the wonder was apparent. "Then one morning I saw the book. And I don't know why, but I picked it up. Part of me found comfort in the fact that just a year before then my mother had been touching those same pages. And then something else happened. As I read the book, I found clarity. For the first time in a year my mind wasn't foggy or dark. I could think. I could see. When I finished the book I immediately flipped to the first page again to see if I could find where you'd dropped your hints so I could solve the case, too. I took notes. I found purpose, as small and insignificant as it really was. And when I resurfaced from reading, that didn't go away. I took a more proactive role in my dad's life. It wasn't until years later that he was really and truly sober, but it began that day. I went out and bought the next book and tried to solve the case before Storm did. It wasn't until a few books later, with A Calm Before the Storm, that I actually managed to."

Kate paused and looked towards the pond, lost in thought. "I wasn't better. I wasn't even close to where I was when we first met, but your books set in me the fire to try." She looked back at him, a small smile lighting her eyes. "They were even part of the reason I became a cop. I wanted to solve my mom's case, but your books gave me the inspiration to think that I could." Kate settled back down against him. "It wasn't until my rebellious stage had come and gone and I'd undergone years of arduous therapy that I felt like me again. And then you appeared and you were nothing like I'd imagined you to be. And then I got to know you and I realized that you were, in fact, everything I imagined you to be and then some." She started playing with the hand she was holding as she faced him once more. "And I know that if there was anyone my mom would tell me to hold onto with all my might, it would be you. You saved my life, Rick. You made my life. I can't even begin to tell you want you mean to me. It's so much more than always, and yet—"

Rick cut her off with a kiss so passionate, so incredible that it literally knocked them over. Kate broke the kiss and she fell apart to laughter and Rick rolled off her and his own laughter shook his body. As they calmed down, Kate snuggled into his side and he wrapped his arms around her. They were silent for a while as they watched the clouds pass overhead, the sun starting to warm the sky with different colors. "You know, I started writing for a different reason, but as the years went by I found myself imagining this great love story. How, one day I would meet this girl at a book signing. And she would be different from the rest of the many swooning girls. That she would catch my eyes and I wouldn't be able to forget about her. Maybe years would go by or maybe just weeks, but then we would meet again somewhere and we'd talk. Really talk. Like I wouldn't be a celebrity to her, for whatever reason, or maybe I was but she'd conceal it well until she realized I really was just another person. Anyway, as time passed and we got to know each other I'd discover something about her. A dark past, a hardship, something unique to her that made her who she was. That it was that thing that first caught my eye. And then she would tell me that it was my words that spoke to her, reached out to her, and brought her back, gave her hope. And so would begin our epic love story."

Rick looked over and found Kate smiling softly, eyes alight with wonder. "Do you ever find it strange that our minds seem to have always been on the same wavelength?"

"It's what make us us, KB," he replied, pulling her tighter. "All the more evidence that the universe wants us to be together."

"And we must respect the universe," Kate said wryly, remembering back to the day he came back after being in the Hamptons and used that same line on her.

"Naturally," he chuckled.

They were quiet for a while when Kate whispered, "Why did you become a writer?"

Rick was silent as a cyphered through all the reasons he'd given over the years to those who asked. Making up a story like he did the first time she asked didn't even cross his mind, though he looked back on that memory fondly. She'd honestly wanted to know something about him. "I've told people many reasons," he finally answered. "I've said it was because I always had a way with words and might as well make money from it. Or that books were my favorite past time in school and I wanted to be able to create my own world for someone else to fall into. Or that there was always a story going on in my head and I wanted to write it down. I've always had a strange affinity for murder, that you well know, which is why I write about it. But why I started writing in the first place?"

Rick fell silent again and stared at the now pink clouds as he tried to formulate his answer. Kate leaned up from her place at his side and rested instead on his chest, an encouraging smile of her own lighting her features. Rick pushed the strands of hair hiding her face back behind her ear. "I started writing all those years ago because I thought that maybe my father would find me. That he'd see those words and read those stories and know that I came from him."

Kate's brow furrowed in sympathy and Rick immediately soothed it away with his thumb. "My father never knew my mom was pregnant so a part of me knew that it would never happen. As the years went by I started writing for my own benefit, and as it turns out, for yours. I grew out of caring that I never had a true dad, and when the time came, focused on being the best one I could be for my kid.

"My mom, being who she is, did the best she could do. And it was a wonderful childhood. I made the best of memories backstage at all her plays; it made for the best tutelage of a growing imagination, and I wouldn't trade our relationship for the world, nor the life she gave me." He offered Kate a smile then, and she returned one in kind. "So now you know. Did it ruin any lasting fantasy you had of me?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Kate giggled and shook her head. "Trust you to turn a perfectly wonderful moment and ruin it with innuendo. But no," she concluded, "It didn't. It just makes you more real, more human."

"Ooo, because I'm Superman in your eyes? Oh wait, can I be Batman now? Cuz he has all the daddy issues and is dark and mysterious—"

"And has a bad rep with the cops?"

"Except for one. That one detective he befriends and trusts."

"Mmm and he has the girlfriend, Rachel, who knows exactly who she is?"

"Exactly."

"Doesn't she choose someone else in the end?"

"And dies. You're right. Can I be Superman again?"

"Who says you were Superman in the first place?"

"How about I make up my own character? I already have my Writer vest so that will work as part of my costume, although I can't think of any good names that aren't tragically lame. But I can work on that part. And I can—"

"How about this, Writer Monkey, you just be you. Your secret identity of Richard Castle has enough macho-ness issues that he would put himself at risk before remembering to change into tights. And then where would we be?"

"Good point," Rick conceded, "I don't think I'd look that good in tights."

Kate snorted at the image and scrunched up her nose. "I think you're right," she said, shaking her head. "And now I'm going to have nightmares for weeks."

"That, love, was just too cruel."

Kate smile down at him. "You make it too easy, Castle. Get better at leaving yourself open and maybe I wouldn't be tempted to cross the line from time to time."

Kate's smile suddenly disappeared as Rick got a glint in his eyes. She tried to squirm away, but he had already flipped them, pinning her down so she couldn't escape. "Well excuse me for thinking that the love of my life would take it easy on me once in a while!" He exclaimed as he tickled her all over her body, laughing with her as she begged him to stop in between bouts of laughter. Then he was up and running away when she turned the fight on him. She caught up to him and jumped on his back. They were both still laughing as they collapsed to the ground, wrapping themselves around each other again.

"That's the first tickle fight we've had in public in a while," Kate whispered with a smile.

Rick chuckled, "You left me no choice."

Kate laughed, "Maybe not."

They lay there together for a moment and watched as the pink hue of the clouds changed to purple.

"Kate?" Rick asked quietly. She looked up at him from her resting place on his shoulder. "Will you marry me?"

* * *

_Hee hee I know I'm semi horrible, but what can I say? It was the perfect place to end a chapter. I'll have the next one up probs tomorrow since I have most of it written already. I just have a final tomorrow that simply _demands_ my attention. Sigh. Anyway, reviews are love and also I've missed you guys. I'm so glad to be writing again and this journey has been incredible._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

He watched her eyes go wide, the answer flit across them, and saw her face break out into the widest smile he'd seen only once before. It was when he'd stopped the bomb and they'd both realized they would live to see another day. It was her smile of life, of knowing that she not only got to keep living, but that there was a new reason to live at all. And his question, one full of promises and a future, had brought that to her face. But what she said next broke him out of that reverie.

"Really?"

Rick chuckled and shook his head. But he needed to be sitting up for this so he pulled her up with him. "Kate. I love you. I've loved you for…ever. You captivate me with everything that you are. You're a brilliant mother to my child. You see me for who I am and love me anyway. We've been through life and death together. Our relationship has been a long time coming, and I was willing to wait for as long as you needed for it to begin. And then I knew that it would take a while longer for you to adjust and to open up and share. For that door that you keep everything locked behind to be open to me. For you to trust me with everything. And I knew I would wait for that. Because I love you. And if I couldn't be with you then I wasn't going to be with anybody else.

"And it took a while, but we broke down that last wall tonight. And now that it's all out there, now that I not only know every expression you give and what it means and what you need, but also what drives you, what made you, and why, now I can't bring myself to wait any longer."

She had tears in her eyes and confusion written all over her face. "Yes, Kate," he answered, "I know it all and I still want you. Hell, it's what makes me want you. I know what you've been through, the dark and twisty, the morbid, the crazy, the obsession. And I am so sorry for that. But I also see what's it's made you into: the extraordinary woman I see before me today. The woman who not only sympathizes, but empathizes with the victims of her cases, the incredible woman who sees the darkness but stands up to it, faces it, and uses the light to banish it away. You face that which took your mother everyday and you succeed. You're incredible, you're beautiful, and I refuse to spend another day without you tethered to me in some way. I want it to be known that despite all reason and unworthiness, you chose me and I get to call you mine. Marry me."

Kate threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, her tears running down and staining the collar of his shirt. "Yes," she murmured over and over again. "Yes, I'll marry you. God yes I'll marry you."

Giddy with joy and no small amount of relief, Rick jumped up, pulling Kate with him, and spun her around like a scene from a movie.

"We're getting married. You're gonna be my wife," he found himself repeating over and over again. Kate started laughing, her life smile still plastered on her face. And it was in that moment that Rick saw their future before them. And it was incredible. Kids and summers at the Hamptons. Solving her mother's case. Anniversaries around the world, most of them spent in bed. Rick would take time from writing to be home with their children. Kate would make Captain and would ease his mind by staying off the streets more. She would hate it at first, but time with their family would make it worth every minute she would have spent pursuing killers. They would attend Epso and Lanie's wedding, dance to every slow song, bring life to the dance floor when the pace kicked back up. They would laugh and tease and love and even fight a little. But through it all, one word would remain.

Rick looked down at Kate and found her already studying him. "Did you see it, too?" She asked.

Rick nodded his head and felt her wipe away a tear that had escaped his eye. "It's beautiful," he whispered. He didn't tell her this, but he didn't need to. This hadn't happened with Meredith and Gina. So he wasn't really surprised when their marriages ended. The way they ended, sure, but he knew in his heart that neither of them would last. But with Kate, even in the beginning, he saw his future with her on every page. It just hadn't been this photographic before.

"I can't wait to get started," he told her. And he got down on one knee and pulled out the velvet box he'd been keeping in his coat pocket for months. "But first, I want to do this right. Katherine Beckett, may I place this ring on your finger as a testimony to our bright and beautiful future together?" Kate's eyes opened wide at the sight of the simple, yet elegant ring before her.

* * *

She had shown him the picture only once. She and Lanie had felt like twenty-somethings that day, browsing through engagement ring photos and oooing and aahhing over certain ones. It was when Kate had gotten quiet and just touched the screen in an almost reverence that Rick walked in and asked what they were doing. Kate had turned the computer towards him and smiled shyly, shrugging her shoulders. Rick hadn't said anything, just given her a small smile in return, his eyes wrinkling in pleasure and love. He nodded and left the room after that.

"You remembered." Kate said as he took the ring from his place and slipped it over her finger. It fit perfectly, but Kate wasn't surprised. She simply studied the Tacori engagement ring that now encompassed her finger. It was a six-prong solitaire setting with a round stone. But what made the ring special was the hand-engraved designs that flowed around the band. It was beautiful. It was unique. It was perfect.

Kate knelt down and wrapped her arms around him again. "I love you. I don't deserve you, but I love you." She leaned back and kissed him, putting as much into is as she could. "We're getting married."

"Yes, yes we are," he murmured into her ear. "So I'm it?" He asked after a moment.

"My one and done?" Kate smiled into Rick's neck. "Who'd have thought, right?"

"Oh I told you you'd warm up to me."

Kate leaned back and rolled her eyes. "Mhm and I told _you_ you had no idea." She gave him a wicked smile and then raised her eyebrow. "Was I right?"

Rick's eyes grew dark with desire and he gently rolled her back. Leaning over her, he brought his face close to her ear. Kate's breath hitched in her chest. "Oh you have no idea," he whispered huskily. Then he was gone. Kate's eye popped open – _how did he always manage to do that?_ – and found him standing over her. "Seems I have the same effect," Rick smiled.

Kate grinned and bit her lower lip, suppressing a retort, and instead held out her hand. "Help me up, Superman."

"Yes!" Rick exclaimed as he hauled her up. "I knew it!"

Kate chuckled and looped her arm through his. "Come on, let's get some dinner."

"Wait," Rick said as he spun her to his right side, "Okay we can go now."

"What-" But Kate's question fell silent as Rick took her left hand in his and immediately began fiddling with the ring on her finger. A large grin spread across her face as more of reality set in. _We're getting married!_

* * *

Kate's phone blared from the bedside next to her. Rick groaned and tightened his arm across her midsection. "No," he mumbled as he snuggled closer to her. "Don't go, stay in bed."

Kate smiled as she reached for her phone. "But it might be a dead body," she whispered back. "You know you love a dead body."

"You make me sound so morbid," Rick yawned.

"You write murder books for a living, Rick," she told him. "And you started out doing it for fun."

"You left out the part where I still write them for fun."

"Or else you would stop writing murder altogether." Kate turned in his arms to face him and answered the call. "I believe you just proved my point. Beckett." She nodded to what the officer was saying on the other side. "Okay, thank you. We'll be right there."

Kate leaned back to replace her phone on the bedside table and noted the time. "You know, before I met you I never minded being woken up by a call." Kate yawned as she wrapped herself back in his arms. "But now 8:00 seems so early when I'm on call."

Rick chuckled into her hair. "Mhm and you know before I met you I would never had been caught awake before 10 AM. So where are we going?"

"Kid in a candy store," Kate sighed.

"Yes, I'm like a little kid at Christmas whenever a body drops. It's why you keep me around."

Kate chuckled. "Well that, too. But we actually have—"

"A kid in a candy store? Really?"

"Don't sound too excited," Kate said as she rolled out of bed. She headed toward the bathroom door. "You comin?"

"Hey," he said as he caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "There's a very pretty ring on your finger."

"Mmm yes my boyfriend gave it to me."

"Your boyfriend sounds like a pretty smart man, taking you off the market."

"He seems to think so," Kate responded as she turned on the shower.

"And you don't?"

"Actually, I think that he's really sweet and kind of incredible and," Kate paused looped her arms around his neck, a smile slowly blooming across her face, "I'm gonna marry him."

"You're gonna marry me?" He pulled her into the shower with him. "Really?"

"Mhm, but can we catch a bad guy first?"

* * *

"So I was thinking—"

"Never a good thing."

"I love you, too. Now, do you remember when—"

"Rick."

"No, hear me out."

"We're not doing that again."

"But you had fun," Rick whined. "And it was your idea."

Kate studied him for a moment as she waited for the light to turn green. "You actually want me to take the ring off just so we can pull another stunt with our friends?"

Rick opened his mouth then closed it. All the childish glee of another game left his face as more of reality set in. "No, I never want you to take that ring off." He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "We're getting married."

Kate gave him a brilliant smile then turned her attention to the road as she started driving again. They were silent for a few moments, and then, "Can I carry you out of the elevator?"

Kate gave a snort of laughter. "Yes, Rick, if you don't care about losing your manhood, you may carry me out of the elevator."

"Darn. But we have to do something!"

Kate pulled into a parking spot. "I'll tell you what. The first thing I'll do is put on some gloves to hide the ring. We'll get the details from Lanie and the boys and begin the investigation. Anytime we're alone or have a chance, we'll devise a way to tell everyone we're engaged." She cupped his cheek in her hand. "And if you have one of your brilliant epiphanies, then just let me know, okay?" Kate cocked her head and gave him a small smile. "I wouldn't want to stand in the way of you being you, so we'll figure something out, okay?"

Rick gave her a dashing smile. "I love you, you know that? I really do."

Warmth built up in Kate's chest as she took in her fiancé. "I know," she said and she leaned her forehead against his. "And I love you so much, and I want nothing more than to be back in bed with you, even just lying there, but—"

"Right now we have a dead kid in a candy store we need to get justice for. I know." They exited the car and Rick grabbed her hand, pulling her to him in a quick, passionate kiss. "Thank you. I know flair isn't necessarily your thing."

Kate looked back at him with undeniable love glistening in her eyes and smiled. "Always."

They walked into the shop together. Kate stepped ahead of Rick and squatted beside Lanie. "What've we got?"

"Ronnie Jacobs, 8 years old, strangled from behind."

"How can you tell?" Rick asked as he knelt down beside Kate and handed her a pair of gloves. She carefully and quietly put them on.

Lanie lifted the boy's chin. "See the marks from the chord? They have an upward directionality, implying the killer choked him from behind."

"The owner said he opened the shop and went to the back room to answer his cell phone, apparently he keeps it in the back during business hours, and came back out to find the boy's body." Esposito finished reading off his notepad and looked down at the boy.

"So we're thinking body drop," Ryan concluded.

"Which corroborates with time of death," Lanie interjected after checking liver temp. "Little Ronnie here was killed between 6 and 7 this morning."

"Who kills a kid and then drops him off in a candy shop?" Rick asked.

"That's your department, Rick," Kate replied. "Any crazy theories?"

* * *

_Well I don't love the ending, but I wanted to send a chapter out to say Merry Christmas everybody! Quick question because it's completely up to you guys when this thing ends :: do you want this case to be open and shut or something harder that'll drag the story out longer? I have absolutely loved writing this thing and can end it either at the engagement reveal or at their wedding or jump ahead again when they have kids. I've considered all options but can't really make up my mind . Much love and thank you for all the reviews 3 xo, Aubrey_

_(P.S. My friend Ally and I may call each other Castle and Beckett, but I own neither of them or the story being told of them. I can dream, but that's all it's gonna be)_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

"Wait. How do we know the kid's name?" Rick asked suddenly.

Ryan and Esposito shared a look. Lanie nodded at them. "Show them, boys." Ryan pulled out a bagged piece of paper. It was small, about the size of a notecard. On the front it read, "_My name is Ronnie Jacobs. I'm 8. Ask me what my favorite candy is_."

"How are we supposed to ask him what his favorite candy is?" Castle asked, his mouth moving before his brain. He cringed and looked over at Kate. "Too soon?"

Kate rolled her eyes, but Lanie piped up. "No wait, that's a good idea."

Kate glanced at Lanie then down at Ronnie's body, following her friend's logic. "Why would the killer leave a note about the boy's favorite candy after he killed him?"

"Anything on the body?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing in the boy's clothes or hands," Lanie responded.

"What about in the body?" Castle asked.

"In the body? Bro, what?" Esposito looked at Lanie for help, shock coloring his face.

"I can't tell you what's inside the body cavity until I get him back to the morgue, Castle," Lanie replied.

"No, I mean in his mouth," Castle clarified, sending a _what did you think I meant_ look Epsosito's way. "What makes a specific candy a kid's favorite? Its taste. Check his mouth."

Lanie reached out and pulled on the boy's chin. A rainbow of colored candy pieces tumbled

out of the boy's mouth. Skittles. Talk about tasting the rainbow.

"Lanie, what's at the back of his throat?" Kate asked after a moment.

"Another piece of paper." Lanie answered, already using a pair of forceps to withdraw the folded sheet of paper.

Kate examined it when Lanie handed it over, then slowly unfolded the mystery paper.

_Catch me if you can. _

"Call Captain Montgomery." Kate said. "We may have a serial killer on the loose."

"Anything new?" Castle asked as he set her coffee down on the desk beside her. He glanced at the clock. 1:27.

"Since you left to make us coffee two minutes ago? No, nothing. The parents are grieving, but can't think of anyone or anything that would warrant their son's death. Ryan and Esposito are talking with Ronnie's friends and their parents, and the shop owner, Ernie Davis, is rattled but otherwise perturbed. He doesn't seem to know anything. Ronnie's dad always dropped him off at the candy shop on his way to work. Ronnie would wait for his friend to pick him up and take him the rest of the way. Every morning was the same."

"Except today."

"No, today we have a homicidal maniac who likes to kill kids, stuff their mouths with candy, and leave notes that taunt the officers who follow him." Kate can't help the frustration that leaks into her voice.

He reaches out and grasps her left hand, fiddling with the ring shining on her finger. "Hey, we're gonna get this guy, Kate. You and me, just like always."

Kate watched his hand in hers, rubbing slow, methodical circles on the back of her hand and swirling around her engagement ring. It should have been enough to pull a smile across her face, but Kate couldn't bring herself to even try.

"Kate?"

She glanced up to find his eyes. "I know, Castle. I do. It's just- he's a kid, you know? Just a little kid. And I can't help but think-"

"What if it was ours?"

Relief flooded her eyes at his understanding. "It's stupid, I know, but I just-"

"Not stupid," he interrupted. "Beautiful and wonderful and exactly you, but never stupid. We'll call Alexis on our way home, okay? And when we have a little boy and he turns eight, we'll make sure he steers clear of all candy shops and strange men."

Kate chuckled and squeezed his hand, a little incredulous at their role swap. It's what made them work so well. "Deal."

Her eyes were shining again and it was enough for him.

"So what's our next step?" Castle asked.

"Yo," Espo called as he walked up. "Phone records don't indicate anything unusual in the parents' behavior." He slapped the manila folder on Kate's desk.

"So far financials check out, too." Ryan confirmed as he walked up. "Serial killer is looking better and better."

"What about Ronnie's friends? Any leads?" Kate asked as she flipped through the financials and phone records.

"No strange behavior or new secrets to report."

Kate frowned. She pulled her left hand out of Castle grasp to push it through her hair. Something was off about the financials. And this case in general. "Anyone following him?" Ryan and Esposito exchanged a look, their eyebrows raised and smiles slowly spreading across their faces. Panic threatened to spread through Castle when Kate glanced up from her folder. "Not now, boys."

The two detectives made to object, but a second look from Mom silenced them. Ring talk would have to come later. Instead, they answered her question.

"No, but one of Ronnie's friends, Kyle Sanders, said that Ronnie's ride home didn't show up at school today." Another boy missing, one with connections to their vic.

"Who's his ride home?" Kate asked already in motion. Castle helped her into her jacket.

"Jake Reynolds." Ryan handed her the address.

The team entered the elevator. "Castle and I will take his house. Have Karpowski run down the parents' plates, see if they left town for any reason. You and Espo work with Lanie and Missing Persons to see if any other kids have gone missing or turned up dead that follow the same methodology."

A resounding "on it" met their ears as they parted ways out of the elevator.

If they were right, time was running down until the next body dropped.

"Something's off."

Castle glanced over at Kate from the passenger seat. "Where?"

"The financials. The phone expense on Jacobs' credit card doesn't match the phone records. I didn't have enough time to really suss it out before we left."

"Let me take a look." Castle reached over and takes the manila folders from Kate's lap. He flipped through the financials on one leg and compared it to the phone records on the other. Minutes later he lifted his head. "Either these people are paying for more minutes than they're using or there's another phone we don't know about yet."

"Secret affair?"

"Most likely. Think it got Ronnie killed?"

Kate heaved a sigh. She'd seen it before. "So the question becomes-"

"—Premeditation or on-the-fly thinking."

They didn't have to say it. Either way, if the dad was the killer, he was one sick individual.

But regardless, Mr. Jacobs would have to wait.

Kate pulled up in front of the Reynolds' house and together they approached the front door. A few moments after Kate rang the doorbell, a rotund woman opened the door.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"I'm Detective Kate Beckett of the NYPD and this is my partner, Richard Castle. Can we ask you a few questions about Ronnie Jacobs?"

"Yes of course," the woman replied. "I'm Carolyn Reynolds."

"Has something happened to Ronnie?" A mop of brown hair poked his head around Carolyn Reynolds. "Is he okay?"

"Jake honey what are you doing out of bed?" Carolyn asked as she ran her hand through his hair and over his forehead. "You still have a fever. You should be resting."

"I heard the doorbell."

Tender exasperation mixed with the worry already lining the mother's face. "Go back to bed, Jake, now is not the time for idle curiosity."

"You always say that when there's something going on," the boy grumbled through a yawn. But he obeyed and trudged up the stairs to his room.

"Jake came down with a fever after dinner last night. I haven't had time to call the school and let them know why Jake was absent," Carolyn explained as she led them into the sitting room. "Now how can I help you? You said it was concerning Ronnie? Has something happened?"

"You drove Ronnie home from school everyday, is that right?" Kate asked instead of answering the question.

"Yes, his house is on the way home for us. Jake and Ronnie became best friends on their first day of school last year. We've been carpooling ever since."

"Have you noted any strange behavior?" Castle asked. "Has Ronnie been quiet lately? Contemplative? Maybe distracted or angry?"

Carolyn wrinkled her brow in confusion. "No he's been his normal self. That boy is quick to smile and laugh. He's been a good influence on my son."

Kate nodded as she shifted her notebook in her hand. This kind of news was never easy. Especially when the news was about a young boy who already had such an impact on the people around him.

"Mrs. Reynolds, I'm sorry to have to tell you, but Ronnie was found murdered this morning in the candy shop where he was waiting to be taken to school."

Carolyn's hands flew to her mouth to muffle her cry of alarm. Her eyes flew to the stairs still visible from where she was sitting and Castle could easily see the thoughts running through the woman's head. _How was she going to tell Jake? _What_ was she going to tell Jake? What would her son do now that his best friend was dead? Would he really even know what that meant? Oh that poor boy. He didn't deserve something like that. _

"How? Why? I mean, how could this have happened?"

"That's what we're going to find out," Kate told her with a reassuring smile. "For what little it'll be worth to you and your son, that's what we're going to find out."

Carolyn gave them a shaky smile in thanks and escorted them out.

"I think that's one of the things I hate most about murders," Castle observed as they walked back to the car. "I mean, as if someone taking another person's life isn't bad enough, they have to go a ruin everyone else's day too." Kate gave him an inscrutable look over the hood of the crown vic. "What?" He asked as he swung in beside her. "I'm just saying that I'm officially going on record and saying that murder sucks for everyone involved."

"Mmhmm," Kate responded as she placed her phone to her ear. "Yeah, Espo? Castle and I are gonna take a crack at the father...yeah the financials...no we'll do it at the house. I don't want to make a scene quite yet. I'm really hoping its nothing. ...well that's why I said hope. Keep me updated. Okay thanks."

"I'm just sayin'," Castle continued once she got off the phone.

"Not saying I disagree, just do me a favor and keep your murdering to your books, okay?"

He chuckled. "You always ruin my fun."

"Gotta get even somehow, Writer Boy." But the twinkle in her eye was back and that's all Castle could ask for.

They fell into an easy silence, their hands twining together somewhere along the way, as Kate drove them to the Jacobs' residence.

A couple hours later found Castle and Beckett back in front of the murder board. Kate moved Herald Jacobs' photo from underneath their suspect column. The man may have been a cheater, but he wasn't their murderer.

"Not that he wins bonus points or anything," Castle was commenting, "But I am relieved to find that we're once again back to square one on this case."

"Not quite square one, Castle, we have some information still to come in."

"So Missing Persons was a bust," Ryan declares as he and his partner walk over to the board. "No one's missing since Ronnie, or before for that matter. We thought we'd check just in case Ronnie wasn't number one."

"No one has gone missing since this morning?" Castle asked.

He was met with three pairs of rolling eyes. "No young child has gone missing since this morning. We checked both genders. Wives, yes. Fathers, yes. But children? None have been reported."

"Don't they have to wait 24 hours, though?"

"48, but how many parents do you think actually wait that long?" Esposito asked. "Not all cases are opened, but reports are filed, claims are noted. But investigations don't start until two days have passed."

Kate rubbed her eyes. There had to be something. "Okay, so what have we missed?" She voiced, turning back to the Murder Board. "What has changed in the kid's life to warrant his death?"

The four of them stood before the white board and the minutes ticked by. But nothing jumped out. No matter how hard Kate wrestled with the evidence, there just wasn't enough there.

"Did Lanie have anything to report while we were gone?" Kate asked.

"No," Esposito replied. "Nothing under his fingernails, no trace evidence in his hair or on his clothes. He was strangled by hand from behind and everything was stuffed into his mouth after he died."

Kate nodded and asked no more.

Eventually Castle gently tugged her from the white board. "Come on," he said gently. "We can try again tomorrow. You won't get anywhere without sleep and there's too little to go on right now."

"I can't wait for another body to drop, Castle."

"And I'm not asking you to, but Kate it's been hours and everyone else has gone home. It's time for you to do that, too."

Kate sighed but allowed her fiancé to slide her coat over her shoulders and steer her to the elevator. It had taken her a while to learn that letting the man beside her take care of her like this wasn't weakness. It didn't mean she couldn't do it herself or he could do it better. It meant that in moments like these, when the cases hit close to home, somehow he was able to see clearer than she could. It meant he knew what she really needed in that moment. Not solving the case or standing in front of a dry erase board riddled with pictures and unfinished timelines, but security and home and love. Perspective. Something only her key in their lock could provide. A place with warm colors, food, pictures, memories, happiness, a certain king sized bed, and the man who brought her there.

Her self of four years ago would have bristled at the thought of needing anybody. Because everybody eventually leaves. Her mother taught her that. And her job only solidified that belief. And the best way to make sure you stay intact when they do is to never offer yourself up in the first place. Chuck out the silver platter. Strength was standing when everyone else expected you to fall apart. But the Kate of today had found the secret. One day, somehow, she'd realized there are certain people who refuse to leave. And those people deserve everything you wanted to hide. It had happened right around the time Castle pounced on Lockwood in the warehouse that night. It had taken her a moment to realize that her heart had leapt to her throat not out of fear for her own safety, but fear for his. She couldn't lose him. Refused to. That infuriating man, Peter Pan reincarnated, had wormed his way past her heart and into her soul. Reshaped her views on the world, made her believe in the impossible. Made her want to experience life again. That was the secret to true strength. It had been what her mother was teaching her before she died. And Richard Castle, through his books and then through his stubborn love, had picked up the pieces and taught her again.

So Kate let him take her home, feed her cereal for dinner, and then nestled in beside him on the bed. He'd made a cuddler out of Kate Beckett. But with a soft smile that said she knew what he was thinking and didn't care, Kate burrowed her head into his shoulder, twined their limbs together, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was in moments like these he knew his destiny.

"Castle."

Castle glanced over. "I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I."

Kate arched an eyebrow. "Do you ever think before speaking?"

"I'm going to ignore that dig in the interest of our case."

"Your destiny, I presume?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes to cover her secret smile.

They were more green today, her eyes. Must be the shirt. Though he fancied more what was under it.

Focus Castle.

"Yes, also the reason you keep me around."

"I'm pretty sure why I keep you around has nothing to do with our case or this little boy." She flashed him a wicked grin. Last night's detox from the case had given them both the change of perspective and determination they needed to face this case again today. And today, that change meant Kate was back to feeling saucy.

Castle fought back the shiver threatening to dance across his skin.

At least she was on the same page.

Sort of. Despite the downpour Ronnie's death wanted to deliver, this whole engagement thing had them both on cloud nine. He still couldn't believe she'd said yes.

Focus Castle.

"We've been running ourselves ragged chasing down leads that don't pan out. It's been a day and a half, Kate."

Kate rubbed her temples, her eyes staring into her empty coffee mug, half expecting it to fill itself. She looked about as tired as he felt. Last night may have been peaceful, but it had done nothing for their case. Their Murder Board still looked the same as when they left it. No new leads, no new thoughts. Nothing. "Spit it out, Rick."

"What do serial killers have in common?"

Kate's eyes widened and she sat up in her chair. "It's been a day and a half."

"Exactly."

Then they said it together. "Where are the other bodies?"

It really was cute how they both did that.

The bullpen sprang into action as Kate sent officer and detective alike down the new alleyways in their investigation. Any young boys found dead with notes on their bodies? Karpowski, check all the mortuaries in the city. Coordinate with Lanie so you know what to look for. Did any of the boy's friends appear apprehensive in front of the cops? Espo, run them down and see if our vic opened up about something he saw or did. Ryan, talk to Missing Persons and the parents one last time.

She and Castle set off to try the new angle on the shop manager. The one who found the body.

"But why would he kill Ronnie?" Castle asked. "What's the motive? He's just a little kid whose dad dropped him off at the shop every morning before school."

"What if something was different about that morning?" Kate asked after a moment. "What if something changed?" She pulled out her phone as she thought out loud, pulled up the name, and pressed send. "Ryan? Did the dad mention anything different about that morning? He did? Thanks." Kate glanced over at Castle then set her eyes on the road, her jaw tense. "Herald Jacobs said he dropped Ronnie off 10 minutes earlier than normal because he had a big meeting at work he had to prepare for."

Big meeting. Right. But that secret phone for his mistress wasn't the point right now. Ronnie was. "So something happened in those ten minutes."

"Something Ronnie should not have seen." The look Kate gave him told him she was thinking the same thing. Dad has a secret meeting with Rachel Weiks and his son has to pay for it.

Sometimes the world was one hell of a place.

Drugs. It was usually one of the three: love, money, or drugs. This time it was the drugs. Which brought in money so it also had to do with the money.

Who runs drugs out of a candy shop? Castle still couldn't get it out of his mind. He could see it now, knowing the whole story.

_Ronnie waves goodbye to his dad before turning around to go inside the shop. His dad dropped him off early so he wasn't in a rush to run off to school. Besides, Ernie was a nice guy. But wait. That wasn't Ernie. Why was he in the candy store? It wasn't time to open yet anyway. Ernie always had to unlock the door to let him in._

_Maybe if this guy was in there it meant the door was already unlocked. _

_"Hey kid! What're you doin' in here! Get out!"_

_That's when Ronnie sees it: the packages of white powder behind the counter. _

_"What is that, mister?" Maybe Ernie makes the candy in the back. It looks like powdered sugar. _

_"None of your damn business, kid, now scram." The tall stranger stalks toward Ronnie._

_"Ernie! Ernie help!"_

"_Ronnie? What're you doing in here?"_

_But Ernie is holding one of those white packages and suddenly something in Ronnie tells him it's not powdered sugar. No, it's something bad. _

_He must have done something to set Ernie off because the next thing he knows he's on the ground with Ernie yelling in his face. But all Ronnie wants is his mommy and daddy. Please just mommy and daddy. _

"Who knows what happens after that, but Ronnie ends up dead and Ernie and his courier panic. The courier runs - they're still tracking him down - forcing the shopkeeper to think quickly. How could he explain what Ronnie was doing in the store before hours? Or why he was killed? Ernie couldn't think of one, and brilliant crime show fanatic that he was, he decided to make his lack of conjecture part of the plan. Because serial killers don't need reasons. Just bodies.

"So Ernie gave them a body. Luckily he couldn't bring himself to give them more than one.

"What do you think?" Castle asked, that little kid grin on his face.

"I think you think you could write a book the way you were going." Kate spared a glance back at him as she pulled down the rest of the board. Honestly, the man could sum up anything with a little flair.

"Yeah, it's kind of boring though. Oo! Maybe I could add in a little something, you know, like—"

"Do not say mob." Castle's face fell before brightening again. "Or assassin."

"Mob boss assassin?"

Kate rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the chuckle that escaped.

"Alright, Castle's story aside, since we all needed to know the details from the kid's perspective, are we going to talk about what's really important here?"

Castle and Beckett swung their heads over to Ryan and Esposito. Lanie was there, too. Great. But Kate only grinned. "Nope. We did the really important stuff."

"Yeah, so what's there to talk about now?" Castle asked, feigning ignorance.

Lanie lifted her eyebrow and the boys crossed their arms.

"Castle proposed, I said yes, the rest has yet to be decided. Are you happy now?" And yet, Kate couldn't hide the smile that blossomed across her face. Castle could only stare. That smile was by far his favorite one yet.

Lanie squealed and pulled Kate into a hug while the boys clasped Castle on the shoulder with a heartfelt "Congrats, man." The whole moment made Castle want to breakout into song. He settled for smiles and laughter. But just barely.

What could he say? The moment, the woman, the life. It was a dream come true. It was magic.

He'd always believed in it, but Kate Beckett brought it to life.

That was something worth singing about.

* * *

_Wow. So. Yeah. What a ride, guys. Really. This has been one incredible journey. What started as a random drabble one night during my venture in New Zealand a couple years ago turned into this: my first completed work. It took a while, but here it is! Well, minus the epilogue, but that's coming up in just a few minutes. First I wanted to thank you. Yes, you. Because you've stuck with me all this time, your favorites and your comments have kept me going, pushing me to break through my writers block (seriously, never invite it in for tea. Ever. It never leaves.) and finish this thing. So I owe it all to you and I could never be more grateful. Secondly, I want to encourage you to stick around! I have ideas and a few chapters written for my other loves in other fandoms as well as something cooking for this beautiful couple __. Until next time, xx, Aubrey._

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	23. Epilogue

To say they lived happily ever after would be a lie. There were days she wanted to kill him and days he actually hid from her. But even then their love was strong and it bound them together in such intricate ways they could never hope to fully separate themselves from each other. Not that they wanted to. But, due to her life and job, Kate was never a believer in fairy tales and their endings. Though she was convinced that Richard Castle was as close as you could ever get. And on the days she doubted he believed enough for the two of them. And just to prove it to her, he got her glass slippers to wear to their wedding.

She didn't, of course. They were impossible to walk in. But they do have a spot on the mantle in the loft, quietly serving their purpose that real life fairy tales can happen everyday.

The writer meets his muse.

He follows her until she starts looking back.

They fall in love over murder and mayhem and create their own peace out of what they find in the middle of it.

And the rest as they say is history.


End file.
